Broken Hearted
by wiggles247
Summary: When Jac faces a personal crisis will Jonny be able to support her? Will Jac let him? Multi-shot.
1. The Perfect Size

**Hiya All. Me again – procrastination has taken over from work (yet again) so here I am at the start of another Jac/Jonny fic. For those of you who haven't read my previous story (Jac&Jil) it might be best if you did [just click on my name and you'll find it] ****but just in case you don't have the time or inclination a short summary: in my Holby-verse Jac has a pregnant best friend (Jil – short for Julianna) she has known since they were at nursery together. Jil has very recently been introduced to Jonny and has told him all about Jac's amazingness, and helped to move him and Jac forward with their relationship (in a major way). For those of you who have read it, this story is set 2 weeks after the end of the last one. Also, to save any confusion the title (Broken Hearted) doesn't relate to anything that is going on between Jac and Jonny, as for this story I really wanted (and I think it needs) them to be together (so there'll be some Jac/Jonny loving for all of us to enjoy!) Anyway, enough of my ramblings …Hope you enjoy!**

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Saturday Afternoon, Darwin

Jac swept on to the ward searching for the person who had put the kybosh on what she'd been expecting to be a lovely afternoon. She spotted him (or the back of his head) at the nurse's station, and called out as she approached it "So what's this emergency? I'm telling you it better be good! And where the hell is Elliott?"

Jonny, span round on his chair to face her and said confused, "Didn't you get my message?"

"No, well yes sort of" Jac replied, continuing, as she saw Jonny's confusion grow, "this blinking replacement phone they've given me is no better than the other one – the signal just keeps dropping out for no reason, so all I heard was that you needed me to come in, no other details at all!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but Elliott phoned in sick and we've got th…"

"Is he OK?" Jac interrupted, concern evident in her voice.

"Sort of" Jonny answered, "reckons he's picked up some sort of stomach bug, so not seriously ill, but not fit for work either – d & v" he concluded, lowering his voice.

"Right." Jac said, her facial expression telling Jonny all he needed to know about what she thought of that. "So, why am I here?"

"Oh yeah, I was just saying we've got a transfer from St James' – a patient who needs an immediate mitral valve repair following endocarditis"

"But surely they can do that there" Jac objected

"Normally yes, but their ITU is only running on 2/3 capacity and they've no beds – so because we do have spare capacity she has to come here."

"And it really couldn't wait till Monday" Jac said, still hoping for a get-out clause.

"They didn't seem to think so" Jonny said, "and, I know I'm no expert, but they sent over her test results and scans, and they don't look good to me" he continued, handing Jac the tablet to check for herself.

She studied the results for a few moments, before conceding defeat. "No, they're right – it can't wait…Dammit!"

"I didn't think you'd mind that much" Jonny said, surprised. "You're always complaining about not getting enough time in theatre, and it means you get to spend some time with me – surely that's a win-win situation" he concluded, smiling.

Despite herself, Jac returned his smile but said, "Yes, but Jil's down this weekend!"

"Oh jeez," Jonny replied. "I'm sorry. With all this I just forgot. Is she OK?"

"Oh yes, she's fine – but I had to leave her in town didn't I? Luckily, we'd just about finished lunch, but we were meant to be indulging in some retail therapy this afternoon, and she'll have to get a taxi back now too. Still, can't be helped and like I said she was fine about it, it's just this isn't quite how I imagined the day panning out this morning. You have got someone to cover tonight though, right?"

"Yes – Mo's on again. She was on last night too – that's why I couldn't ask her to come in today."

"It's ok, you don't have to explain yourself. I'm second on call and if Elliott's sick, then, well there's nothing to be done." Jac said, moving around into the nurse's station and taking a seat.

"I know" Jonny agreed, "but I'm still sorry. How is Jil anyway?"

"Fat. _ Even_ fatter!" Jac said smiling, "and disappointed that she won't be seeing you at any point this weekend. I can't think why, but it seems she's taken rather a shine to you."

"Ah well" Jonny interjected, "that's easily done. On which topic, did _you_ miss me?"

"Miss you?"

"Yeah, last night"

"Miss you?" Jac repeated, turning her chair towards Jonny and moving towards him. "Why on earth would I have missed you?" In truth, she knew the answer to this question – since 'that date' nearly two weeks ago, until yesterday, they'd only spent three nights apart, all when Jonny had been working. In fact, after their date Jac's car hadn't moved from the hospital car park for another three days because she'd been sleeping at Jonny's every night and, for some reason, he always insisted on driving. And then after a pause, Jac admitted, "Well, maybe a tiny bit," and smiled, moving her chair even closer to Jonny's so that her knees were between his. "Of course," she continued, leaning in, "the real question is did _you_ miss _me_?"

"Mmm," Jonny pretended to consider this. "Maybe, just a tiny bit!"

"Oh," Jac said, leaning in even closer, "only a tiny bit, eh? Well I can see I'll have to do something about that, to make sure you miss me a bit more tonight, won't I?" And so saying, she lent in and briefly brushed his lips with her own, moving away before Jonny had even had a chance to register what she had done, let alone respond to it.

"Mmm, that would be nice, very nice." Jonny replied, leaning in again only to be wrong-footed once more by Jac sitting backward in her chair away from him, and smiling wickedly before becoming business like and asking, still with that smile.

"So, when should we expect her in?"

And Jonny, who realised that she'd already achieved her aim of making him miss her more tonight (although, if truth be told, he wasn't sure how he _could_ miss her much more than he had last night) conceded defeat, and smiling back at her (because what else was there to do?) replied. "They were just stabilising her at St James' when I phoned you, so I expect they'll be here in the next hour or so."

"And," Jac asked, looking around the ward, "where is everyone? We do have everyone we need to do this, don't we?"

"Of course," Jonny replied confidently. "In fact, Suraya and Kay are just getting the theatre ready now. Stephen's down with Mrs Dakers in X-Ray, Kate and Louisa are on their breaks and Tara's in the nurse's office working on her research project. Incidentally, she'd like to be involved in this."

"Of course she would." Jac said with a characteristic roll of her eyes.

"Jac," Jonny chided gently.

"I know, I know!" Jac replied. "It's just, sometimes, well her enthusiasm can get a little bit wearing you know."

"Oh, I don't know. I've always found it quite cute, endearing even." Jonny replied, earning another roll of Jac's eyes. Before continuing, "You know a bit like a 'love-sick puppy on speed'" which caused Jac to smile, as he'd hoped it would, as she recalled the conversation where _she'd_ first used that line. "And you certainly can't fault her commitment – she was in before me this morning and I know she was still working on that project when I left here last night after my late shift."

"Mmm," Jac said, "well one person's endearing is another's annoying I suppose. And as for that flaming F1 prize, if I never hear another person mention it it'll be too soon. Honestly, I could wring the neck of the person who instigated it."

"You're just annoyed, cos there wasn't one when you were an F1" Jonny countered. "Anyway, I don't think you'd reach."

"What?" Jac said, incomprehension flooding her face.

"It was one of Hanssen's initiatives, and there's no way that you'd be able to wring_ his _neck – you're not tall enough."

"Bet I could if he was sitting down." Jac said smiling wickedly. "And I hope you're not calling me short!"

"No," Jonny said quickly, "I'm calling him unnaturally tall. You," he continued, smiling at her and leaning in to smooth her hair, "are the perfect size. And, if there had been an F1 prize when you were one, I'm sure you would have won it."

"You've got that right. Top of my year, every year." Jac replied simply, the pride evident in her voice.

"Impressive!" Jonny said, and noticing the flash of hurt that crossed Jac's face and, realising that she thought he was being sarcastic, rushed to reassure her. "No, I'm serious! I know how hard you work to be as good as you are."

"Thank you," Jac replied simply, smiling that wonderful smile of hers, and reminding Jonny how important he'd decided it was for him to compliment her more often.

"Just saying what I see." He answered, and taking her hand in his continued, "I know you don't get to be as brilliant as you are on talent alone"

"Right, ok. That's probably enough ego massaging for now" Jac said, although how she was blushing so fetchingly and the way her smile brightened, belied her words.

And, Jonny noticed, she was still holding his hand, and even when they heard voices approaching the nurse's station, and both looked up and saw Kate and Louisa returning from their break she didn't let go. And, even now, nearly two weeks after the shift in their relationship that 'that date' (and its aftermath) had precipitated, Jonny was still amazed at how relaxed Jac now was about showing the world that they were together. It probably helped that their 'coming out' as an official couple hadn't caused quite the maelstrom of gossip that, he assumed, Jac had feared – it seemed that everybody on Darwin had either known, or guessed, that they were an unofficial couple, but had just been too frightened of Jac's wrath to talk about it. In fact, Gwen, who had been in Albie's that night, confided in him the next day, that the only thing anyone on Darwin had ever been unclear about was whether he and Jac were 'on' or 'off' on any given day. And, when Dr Cummings _actually_ came out to her colleagues on her 30th birthday (by kissing her long-term partner after she'd blown the candles on her cake out), interest in Jac's and his relationship from staff in other parts of the hospital dwindled away pretty quickly. Although, he had been taken to one side by Arthur (one of the porters) and told that he was a lucky man to get 'such a cracker as Miss Naylor' and that he was to be sure he looked after her, which was something he was more than happy to agree with and to. In fact, as far as Jonny knew the only notable incident resulting from their 'relationship reveal' involved Michael, who had collared Jac by the lifts and said something to her whilst she was waiting for him to get the coffees in, on the first Wednesday after their date. She hadn't told him what Michael had said (when he'd asked her in the lift she'd simply said it was 'nothing worth repeating' before kissing him), but from his position in the queue he could tell it was something which had annoyed her but also something that, from the look on Michael's face after their exchange, she had managed to best him over with one of her killer one-liners. But he was still surprised by quite how open about their relationship she was being.

(In fact Michael had said, 'A nurse Naylor, your standards are slipping!' [Which was something Jac immediately decided never to tell Jonny.] But to which she'd replied, without missing a beat, and wearing her most dangerous fake sweet smile. 'No Michael, not at all. But even if they had, they'll never slip so low that you'll stand a chance with me. Sorry!')

"Hey," Jac said, smiling at both of the nurses as they approached the desk and then addressing Louise asked, "How's your daughter now?"

"Oh she's ok. Moaning that her leg's itchy and that the cast is too heavy, but otherwise fine. The pain doesn't seem to be a problem anymore, which is a definite bonus."

"Oh, that's good then." Jac replied, before continuing, "Is there anything either of you think I need to know about anyone on the ward before I start to tackle my inbox? Might as well do something useful now that I'm here, I suppose." Both of the nurses shook their heads, which prompted Jac to say "Well in that case, and now that you're here for Jonny to talk to" squeezing his hand gently as she said it, "I'll be in my office." And so saying, after one final squeeze she finally let go of Jonny's hand and standing up said, addressing Jonny, "You'll let me know as soon as she arrives?"

"Of course," Jonny confirmed.

"Or," she added, looking back at him meaningfully and smiling as she walked to her office, "if anything else comes up in the meantime."

And Jonny tracked her progress to her office door, enjoying the view (as he always did), and it was only when Jac had disappeared from view that what Jac had said last, and more importantly how she had said it properly penetrated his consciousness. He _knew _what that look meant – he was going to have to find (or even invent) some reason to see her in her office, when he was absolutely sure that_ something_ would come up. And even though he knew this would make him miss her more desperately tonight, he also knew it would be worth it. "Right," he said, getting up to put 'Operation Find a Reason' into action, "best do something I suppose. Kate can you do Mrs Phillips' obs and then check on Mr Waite for me. I'm going to see how Rosie's getting on with her infusion pump, I was a bit worried about her earlier. And Louisa when Stephen gets back with Mrs Dakers from X-Ray can you let me know, I think Miss Naylor might need to have a look at her scan."….

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**This is just to set the scene really but hopefully you have enjoyed it. Just to add, in this story the Sean thing, Japan and the aftermath of Jac hitting her head [which I loved ****] haven't happened yet (it wouldn't fit with the timings). Do have an idea which looks at all that but want to wait to see how this pain thing all pans out, plus have had the idea for **_**this **_**story for so long really wanted to get it down. As always, please review – constructive criticism always welcome – I do really like to know what everyone thinks.**


	2. Reformed Gate Crashers?

**Me again – sorry about the length of time between updates but they're proving to be quite long chapters so take some time to write. Hi-World there's news of Jac and Jil's last hurrah in this chapter, and a bit more to come too. These are really just to set the scene – there will be some more emotional stuff to come (and lots of Jac/Jonny interactions too, which I fear we're going to be sadly lacking in 'real' Holby at least for a little while). Hope everyone enjoys this – as ever please review.**

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_Late Saturday Afternoon, Darwin_

"Shouldn't you be in surgery?" a voice Jonny, who was writing up some patient notes, vaguely recognised, asked. As he span round in his chair, the voice continued, "Or was that phone call just a ploy to get Jac here so you could see her? That's it, isn't it? You tricked her into coming in because you've been missing her, and now you've got her locked in one of the store cupboards so you can have your wicked way with her, haven't you?!"

"Jil." Jonny exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I think you'll find," Jil replied, leaning on the desk and grinning, "that I asked _you_ that first. Sooo"

"So?" Jonny asked, confusion evident in his voice before the penny dropped. "Oh, right. Why am I not in surgery with Jac?"

"Yep."

"Because today I'm not appearing in my role as a theatre co-ordinator, but as a senior charge nurse, so I'm ward, rather than theatre based."

"Oh right." Jil replied, before continuing, still smiling "So you definitely haven't got Jac in a cupboard somewhere then?"

"Nope, I don't think she'd like it, and believe me, I'm sure you'd be able to hear her if I had." 'Although' he thought, but didn't add, 'the bit about me having my wicked way with her isn't so very far from the truth – in fact you couldn't be more right about that!'

"Oh, bang goes that theory then." Jil said. "Is it alright if I sit down?" she asked, indicating the chairs behind the nurse's station."

"Oh yeah, yeah of course" Jonny said hurriedly, standing up and pushing one towards her as she walked round. "Wow." He exclaimed, as he saw her full length for the first time, "Jac was not wrong!"

"What?" Jil said, as she sat down. "What's she been saying?"

"Erm, she erm" Jonny struggled to find the words to translate Jac's comments into something even remotely approaching acceptable, "erm, she said you'd erm….grown" was what he finally came up with.

"She called me fat didn't she?" Jil translated back into Jac-speak. "Cheeky mare! Just you wait till she's having a baby – I'm going to love getting my own back on her! Although, to be honest my bump does seem to have grown an extraordinary amount in the last two weeks – it's like I've been using a bicycle pump through my tummy button."

"So how are you otherwise" Jonny asked.

"Oh fine really – a bit of breathlessness every now and again, and I feel a bit dizzy sometimes if I stand up too quickly, but other than that everything's been fine. I didn't even really get morning sickness, although I tend to keep that to myself when I go to my ante-natal clinics – I've been so lucky compared to some of the women there. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." Jonny replied. "Actually I'm much better than fine, which reminds me" he said standing up and walking the short distance to Jil's chair before bending down, taking her face in his hands and planting a large and noisy kiss on her forehead. Before saying, now crouching down in front of her chair, "Thank you so much!"

"Wow," Jil exclaimed, "what was that for? Not that I'm complaining, you understand – I always welcome kisses from tall, dark, handsome men, especially ones with Scottish accents, but...why?"

"I promised myself I would," Jonny answered, standing up, explaining further. "Jac told me it was your idea for us to go on that date, and well, you know how well that turned out for me. So a thank you kiss is the very least I think I owe you."

"Aww, Jonny – that's so cute! But I'm just glad everything's worked out so well – I haven't seen Jac this happy in ages, and she sooo deserves it. I can't tell you how pleased I am!"

"You don't really have to." Jonny replied, sitting down again. "The huge smile kind of gives it away"

"I know" Jil said, smiling even more, "but it's just so exciting. I'm a hopeless romantic me – Jac will tell you – and I've been waiting for her to meet a keeper again for ages. And now she has," she concluded simply, "it's just brilliant!"

"Mmm, it is a bit." Jonny agreed.

"Although, I do have a bone to pick with you," Jil said. "Football last time, **TWO **long days this weekend, if you're not careful I'm going to start to think you're trying to avoid me."

"Oh no, no, it's not that I promise you – it's just we're short-staffed this weekend and the trust is trying to cut the agency nurse bill, so I agreed to.."

"To play your resident role as Darwin's knight in shining armour" Jil interrupted, smiling. "I know, I was only joking. Jac explained that you were in KISA mode again this weekend."

"KISA?"

"Oh Jonny get with the programme - knight in shining armour!" Jil answered, shaking her head. "Which reminds me, I need you to don the glittery stuff for me at some point."

"Oh?"

"Yep, I need you to carry my bag in for me."

"But you've got your bag." Jonny objected, pointing at Jil's handbag, which she'd put down by her chair."

"No, my other bag," Jil explained. "Well it's more of a case really and I couldn't bring it down here, well I could have, but it's one of those wheelie ones and it's got a squeak and I didn't think your patients would appreciate it. And, well there's no way I can carry it at the moment," she said, stroking her bump, "so if you could get it, that'd be brilliant. Please."

"Of course," Jonny replied, standing up, "any problem you might have and I'm your KISA. Where did you leave it?"

"It's just by the inside of the ward doors," Jil answered, pointing down the corridor. "I did put it to one side, out of the way though, so nobody should have fallen over it," she called out as Jonny set off down the corridor.

"Flipping heck!" he said when he returned a short while later, "what've you got in here? The kitchen sink?" putting down the case on front of Jil.

"Not quite," Jil answered. "It's everything I need to take Jac away from all this" she said, indicating Darwin. "Well barring the taxi, obviously" she added as an afterthought.

"And are posh frocks part of this whole whisking her away from it all thing" Jonny asked, indicating the full length suit covers he had also brought down and draped over one of the empty chairs.

"Yep, actually they're an integral part of the plan." Jil answered, opening the canvas bag that had been hooked over the handles of the case and taking out a cool bag. "Supplies," she said, by way of explanation when she saw the curious look on Jonny's face. "Actually, could you do me another favour? Could you take this" she said, pointing at the case, "into Jac's office for me please. I don't need it anymore yet, and it might be a bit in the way stuck here."

"Of course," Jonny said, bending down to pick the case up again.

"It's alright, I'll take the dresses." Jil said, standing up as Jonny moved to pick them up from the back of the chair. "Wouldn't want you peeking. It might spoil the surprise."

"Surprise?" Jonny asked. "What surprise might that be?"

"Well," Jil said considering, as she followed Jonny, carrying the dresses, towards Jac's office. "It's probably not so much a surprise, more a treat. You haven't seen Jac's 'Bond-girl' impression yet, have you?... Not the bikini-clad version" she hurried to add, "the ball gown and diamonds one"

"Erm, no." Jonny said, suddenly finding it hard to get a picture of Jac in a cream bikini out of his mind. "No, I can't say as I have…..but I think I'd like to." Thinking to himself 'and the bikini-clad version sounds pretty good to me too."

"Oh," Jil assured him, as she walked through the door to Jac's office he was holding open for her "you'll _definitely_ like to. I don't have a shadow of a doubt about that….Oh, I see Jac was right about Professor Hope's desk" she continued, gazing at Elliott's desk which was covered, once again, with papers and patient notes and chocolate bar wrappers.

"Oh yes" Jonny said, "he told me how you'd organised everything for him last time you were here – he was really grateful and he did try to keep it up but…well I don't know, guess it was too hard for him. I mean, it was still relatively tidy the Wednesday before last (which Jonny remembered because that was the day he and Jac had had a very stimulating 'discussion' about the proposed changes to the funding structure of the NHS, and afterwards had recovered on the couch opposite Elliott's desk, and whilst Jac was sitting contentedly with her head on his chest he'd had quite some time to notice how tidy it was) but then well I don't know – he always blames it on the 'mess monkeys' and who am I to argue?"

"Mmm, probably best not to," Jil agreed, hanging the suit covers on the coat hooks by the door. "I suppose you can't fight Mother Nature, Elliott's obviously just a naturally disorganised person, so I suppose you just have to embrace the mess. Although, I have to say," she said, looking over at the clear expanse of Jac's desk, broken only by a brightly coloured, slightly misshapen bowl, that she saw now contained a collection of equally brightly coloured paper-clips, "I do sometimes wonder how Jac stands it. She's not normally very good with disorder and mess, likes everything just so."

"Tell me about it!" Jonny replied with feeling, adding. "How's your cleaning-itis now?"

"Oh, it's not quite so bad, thanks." Jil replied. "I _can_ now walk past the odd teaspoon or mug without having to wash them up. But I'm not completely cured yet – found myself replacing all the linings in my kitchen cupboards yesterday, 10 minutes before my taxi was due. And I would dearly love to do something about that," she said, pointing at Elliott's desk, "again too. So, perhaps we'd better leave now, before the temptation gets too much for me." And she walked towards the door, pausing to smooth down the suit covers one last time, and making a mental note to let Nicholas know that Auntie Jac had found a very important job for his bowl to do.

Jonny who saw Jil's actions with the suit covers was reminded that she still hadn't really answered the question he had asked when he first saw here, so, as she walked back to the nurse's station with him following, called after her. "So, am I allowed to ask where you and Jac are going tonight?"

Jil stopped and turning her head to face him answered, "Of course you're allowed to ask Jonny?" before continuing on her way and taking a seat again behind the nurse's station once more.

Jonny, who had expected her to answer by now, joined her in the nurse's station and after a few more moments of silence, said "Sooo?"

"So?" Jil repeated, into the pregnant pause, smiling pleasantly at him

"Oh, right," Jonny said, as the penny finally dropped and he became aware of another reason that Jac and Jil were best friends – that was just the sort of thing she'd delight in doing to him too. "Where are you going tonight?"

"Speed-dating" Jil said, without missing a beat. "Jac's going to try to hook a millionaire sugar daddy and I'm going along to scare them all witless by saying I'm after a daddy for my unborn baby." She looked up at Jonny for a few moments, expressionless, before her face suddenly broke into a grin. "Your face.." she said, "I'm joking, stupid! Aww, that's so cute though – you were really worried weren't you? Although," she added, "you're really easy to wind-up when it comes to Jac you know, I reckon you're going to have to work on that or she'll have you for breakfast."

And Jonny, who _had_ experienced a momentary pang of worry at Jil's joke, even though he could see now how idiotic that was, realised that, as with so many things, Jil was right about this too. "So" he asked, trying to wrest some control over the conversation back, "where are you _actually_ going to tonight?"

"We're going to paint the town red, and dance the night away at the Wyvern and Somerby Hunt Ball."

"But Jac doesn't dance." Jonny objected.

"She does when she's with me" Jil replied simply, "we revert back to being 16 again when we used to get suited and booted and go clubbing with our fake ID's"

"You did that?" Jonny asked, incredulously.

"Of course!" Jil said, before going on to admit, "well, actually, only a couple of times really. I mean, don't get me wrong, Jac was always sneaking out but normally it was to help me with my chemistry homework. We were both far too sensible to stand around outside in the cold trying to impress drunk boys who were only ever after one thing! Mind you, we made up for it at university"

"Really?" Jonny said.

"Mmhmm, really. I mean, not the boys who only wanted one thing, obviously – we're still too sensible to bother with them – well, except when we're on training courses for work at any rate!" she said, smiling pointedly at Jonny, who, knowing exactly what she meant, felt himself blush accordingly. "But we used to get dressed up to the nines and gate-crash parties. Well, gate-crash is probably stretching it a bit – you'd be amazed the places you can get into if you've got a posh frock on and a confident air about you – all the big banks Christmas parties, Lloyds of London's garden party, a post-BAFTA award bash. We even got into a reception at the Bolivian Consulate once – that was really posh – no pyramids of Ferrero Rocher though, which was slightly disappointing, I mean, not that I like them, but well you just expect it don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I suppose you would." said Jonny, distractedly, still trying to get his head round this unexpected information. "What, so you'd just dress up and go to places that were holding parties and they'd let you in?"

"Yep," Jil said nodding, "I mean you couldn't do it now obviously, with all the security they have, but when we were at uni the terrorists they were worried about weren't suicide bombers, well not intentionally anyway, and like I said you'd be amazed the doors a posh frock, killer smile and a 'nobody better mess with me' attitude can open, and needless to say Jac had all those attributes in spades. And," she said, struggling to suppress a giggle, "you wouldn't believe the stir two women holding hands all night and slow dancing would cause back then. I don't suppose it'd be such a big thing in most places now but, well, let's just say we were quite often the centre of attention at the events we went to"

"Wow." Jonny said, "I had no idea Jac was so…so…I don't even know what the word is"

"Daring, mischevious, brazen." Jil offered.

"Yeah, those'll do" Jonny said, still trying to integrate this new information into his idea of who Jac was.

"And there's no 'was' about it!" Jil added, definitely, "she's exactly the same now."

"What you're not going to…not tonight surely?"

"What?" Jil said, before realisation dawned. "Oh no, no we're not gate-crashing the Hunt Ball – I couldn't risk our last hurrah being ruined by some over-zealous security guard not letting us in. No I've bought tickets, got them in there," she said, pointing at her handbag, "but I still reckon Jac could get us in without them, even with a jobsworth security guard."

"Yep," Jonny agreed, "he wouldn't stand a chance."

"Or she," Jil said.

"What?"

"You get female security guards, and bouncers now – something about them making it less likely things will kick off on a Friday night." Jil said. "Although, thinking about it, I'd bet that'd make it harder for Jac - she wouldn't be able to use her feminine wiles for a start, but I still reckon she'd get us in there."

"Feminine wiles," Jonny said.

"Oh yes," Jil exclaimed, "every woman's got them, and Jac is no exception. In fact, she's a past master at using some of them"

"Any ones in particular?" Jonny asked, hopefully.

"Sorry," Jil replied, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you – rules of the sisterhood I'm afraid. And I really don't want to do that, Jac'd be ever so upset for a start, and then there's the mess it would make – my cleaning-itis would go into overdrive. So no" she concluded, smiling, "no clues from me I'm afraid, although there's a fair chance you've experienced most of them yourself already. Although Jac's so good you probably didn't notice!"

"Right, so I've probably seem them all and just not realised" Jonny clairifed.

"I'd say so, yes."

"So all I need to do is work out when she might have used them on me and then work out what…" Jonny's machinations were interrupted by a beep which emanated from the call bell system at the nurse's station. He looked over at the panel and said, getting up "Ahh, Mrs Phillips – she's probably dropped her knitting needles again. I keep telling her the only people who should have sharp, pointy things in here are the surgeons, but will she listen?" And so saying Jonny started to walk off down the corridor towards Bay 3, before turning round to say. "But don't think this gets you off the hook about those feminine wiles, I WILL be back to talk some more about them!"

"Well, as long as you realise you won't get anything out of me." Jil called out after his retreating back. "I'm the graveyard of her secrets remember," she concluded, smiling, which earned her a smile from Jonny in return, just before he went through the door of Bay 3. "You've got **NO** chance," she said quietly to herself, "with finding out about what Jac's feminine wiles are or being able to resist them – not a snowball's chance in hell!"


	3. Laughing Fit

**Another bit of a filler chapter really. This is only half of the original chapter I'd planned but realised it'd take me a while to finish it off totally, so thought I'd be better dividing it up. I promise there is some deeper stuff to come in the next few chapters, just not yet…but think a bit of froth and bubble is OK . As always, please review – I really like to know what people think.**

* * *

_Early Saturday Evening, Darwin_

Jonny noticed, on his way back from doing his half hourly obs, Jil, who was still at the nurse's station, glancing up at the clock. "Do you want me to go and see how they're getting on in theatre?" he offered, correctly guessing that she was getting a little concerned about the time.

"Oh yes please" Jil answered, "if it's not too much trouble."

"No, it's no bother" he said, "although to be honest, I can't see them being that much longer really. Jac could almost do a mitral valve repair in her sleep and she's got the team so well trained that unless something's gone drastically wrong I'd say it'd be a three hour op tops. But I'll go and check anyway," he added, before setting off down the corridor towards Darwin's theatres.

"Thanks Jonny" Jil called after him

When he returned, a few minutes later, after being waylaid by Phillip to get his time-sheet signed, he saw Jil deep in conversation with Stephanie. Approaching, he heard them discussing work experience opportunities and, from the deepest recesses of his mind, remembered that Stephanie's daughter was studying psychology at university – Leeds, Leicester, somewhere that began with an L anyway, Lancaster maybe…."anything like that would be useful really" he heard Jil say. "And she could probably do something during term-time too, as well as in the holidays. I volunteered with Headway one day a week when I was at uni and I'm sure most charities would love to have extra people to help them out, especially now. And it shows willing too I suppose – that you're committed enough to give up your time for free, and I'm sure my Headway experience was one of the reasons I got my first psychology-related job, so it paid off in the long run too."

Jonny, sensing a natural break in their conversation, cleared his throat, and said, "Erm, sorry to interrupt but just to let you know they've just started closing up so I'd say Jac'll be done in about 15 minutes, 20 at the outside."

"Oh right, thanks Jonny," Jil said, glancing up at the clock, "Oh that's ok then - we should still have plenty of time," she continued, smiling.

"Anybody want a drink?" Jonny offered. "It's been at least 5 minutes since I had one, Stephanie?"

"Err, yeah alright then – coffee please, white 1 sugar, thanks."

"Jil?"

"Oh go on then, you've twisted my arm – a hot water please."

"Ok, 1 white coffee with one sugar and one hot water coming up." Jonny said, before turning round and heading towards the staff room. As he went he heard Jil and Stephanie resume their conversation, with Jil offering her services "And you can tell her that if she ever wants to talk to anybody about it, I'd be more than happy to. I mean I know I'm not an ideal candidate for her location wise but I'll give you my email, and I'll find out if I know anyone that's a bit more conveni….."

On his return a few minutes later with three steaming mugs, which he put down on the desk, he found Jil alone at the nurse's station. "Call bell" she said, in answer to Jonny's unasked question, "I think it's Mrs Phillips again", she added, trying, unsuccessfully, to supress a smile.

"Really?" Jonny asked. Jil nodded looking away from him in an effort to stop the laugh she was struggling to stifle escaping. Jonny, who was looking towards Bay 3 and so was ignorant of Jil's desperate efforts, continued, "If it is her again, that's the 4th time in the last hour. Honestly, think I might have to speak to Hanssen about instigating a no hobbies policy on the wards if they all cause as much disruption as Mrs Phillips and her bloomin' knitting." At this, Jil's already fragile defences , gave way and a giggle escaped, which she hastily, and unsuccessfully, tried to control by clamping both of her hands across her mouth. "What?" Jonny said, huffily "it's not funny you know. It's a waste of nurse's time – and it's not like we have nothing better to do than crawl around on the floor looking for patient's knitting needles." Unfortunately these comments tickled Jil's funny bone even more, resulting in another gale of laughter erupting, which, because of her hands being over her mouth, was soon transformed into a coughing fit, which left her struggling to breathe. At this, Jonny's attitude transformed from mildly affronted to concerned almost instantaneously, "Are you OK?" he asked, "Do you want me to do anything?" Despite Jil shaking her head he hurried round into the nurse's station and crouching down by her chair, began to say in his calmest, most reassuring voice. "You're OK, just try to breathe. Come on, take some nice deep breaths for me." Unfortunately for Jonny this had the unintended consequence of making Jil (who had always had a strong sense of the ridiculous) laugh even more. Jonny who was becoming increasingly concerned by the situation, stood up and said, a note of slight panic creeping into his voice. "Jil are you ok? I really need you to breathe now sweetheart. Come on, just breathe for me." And Jil, who could see how worried he was made a real effort and (even though she knew she was actually fine) eventually managed to gain control of the laughing fit, and began to breathe more easily again. "Oh thank god," Jonny said. "Are you OK? Do you need anything?...Oh god, don't you ever do anything like that to me again." And all Jil could do was shake her head, wipe away the tears the laughing-come-coughing fit had caused and concentrate on keeping her breathing calm and trying to recover.

"Jil are you OK?" asked Jac, who had turned the corner from theatre to see Jonny bending over her best friend, who appeared to be crying. "What have you done to her?" she demanded of Jonny.

"Nothing Jac," Jil managed to get out, adding "laughing fit" by means of an explanation.

"Grief Jil – I thought you'd grown out of them," Jac said, entering the nurse's station "she was always having them when we were younger," she explained to Jonny. "Oh, do you remember that one with the coleslaw?"

"Yep," Jil said, "how could I forget? That was funny though!"

"Oh yeah – hilarious!" Jac said sarcastically, "Jil I almost had to give you the Heimlich manoeuvre – that is **not** funny, it was seriously scary!"

"No, you didn't nearly have to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre, you _thought _you needed to whereas I _knew_ I was fine." Jil objected. "And I kept telling you that too."

"Yes, but I couldn't hear what you were saying because of the choking noises you kept making and your gasps for breath didn't help with the whole intelligibility thing either." Jac said, determined to have the last word on the subject. "What are you doing here anyway?" she said.

"Oh Jac, you've not forgotten have you? The ball; drinking, dancing – our last hurrah!"

"Of course I haven't forgotten – it's just I thought we were going from mine."

"Yep, well I thought it would save some time if I came in, and anyway I was bored waiting at yours on my own."

"But what about everything we'll need – my dress for a start"

"All sorted," Jil said confidently. "Everything's in your office. Jonny can't wait to see you all dressed up – I've told him what a treat he's in for, haven't I?" she asked Jonny, who, still trying to recover, just nodded in reply. "But don't worry I didn't let him peek, so it'll still be a surprise."

"Right," Jac said suspiciously, "which dress did you bring for me to wear?" Jil glanced over at Jonny and beckoned Jac to come nearer and with Jac bending down whispered into her ear. "What!" Jac exclaimed, "why on earth did you bri…"

"Shush," Jil interrupted, looking over at Jonny who was all ears. "You'll ruin the surprise. Oh" she said suddenly, "you are still up for this aren't you? You're not too tired after this op? Cos if you are, we can just go home and watch TV if you'd rather. Apparently there's been some good football today so 'Match of the Day' should be good and"

"Since when do you watch 'Match of the Day'" Jonny asked, addressing Jac.

"_I_ don't, _she_ does" Jac replied, pointing at Jil, as she sat down. "I just happened to be sitting in the same room with her when it was on, that's all. And to answer your question Jil – yes I am _definitely_ still up for this evening – it'd take more than a mitral valve repair to tire me out. Could do with a caffeine fix though."

"Oh that reminds me." Jil said, "Have you eaten since lunch?"

"Nope – I've been a bit busy saving somebody's life to worry about stuffing my face."

"Hah," Jil said, an obviously fake smile on her face. "She thinks she's funny" she said, addressing Jonny. "You're not" she continued, this time directing her comment at Jac, "not in the slightest! But luckily, I have a very forgiving nature so will ignore your sarcasm and provide you with something you can "stuff your face" with."

"What are you talking about woman?" Jac asked.

"Supplies," Jil said triumphantly, turning back towards Jac and holding the cool bag she'd picked up from the desk aloft. "I've got your tea in here - homemade veg soup and pasta, with Eton mess for afters. It just needs heating up, well not the Eton mess obviously but the soup and the pasta."

"What, when…when did you make soup?" Jac asked

"This afternoon," Jil replied, "I didn't really feel like doing more shopping after you left, so I just went back to yours. And well, I did say I was getting bored on my own there, and it was either cooking or cleaning and cooking won. But don't worry" she added, "I did clean up after myself, so your kitchen is just as tidy as it normally is. So, if you want to finish up whatever you need to do with your op, I'll go and get everything warmed up and meet you in the staff room, yeah? I'll even make you a coffee, can't say fairer than that.

"Well doesn't seem like I've got much choice does it?" Jac said, "seeing as how you've got everything sorted. Right, I just need to write up the operation notes, and then check on Beth in recovery, so I'll be about 10 minutes – ok?"

"Okey-dokey!" Jil answered, standing up, and walking out of the nurse's station "I'll see you in the staff room then…Oh, and Jonny" she added, turning round to face him on her way to the staff room, "she SO WAS watching 'Match of the Day' last time I was up – 22 good looking, fit men in shorts, who wouldn't be? We'll get her cheering you on from the side lines at one of your matches yet!" she concluded, shooting a triumphant smile Jac's way. "And" she called out, as she walked off towards the staff room door, "how many times do I have to tell you Jac – those looks of yours don't work on me? Never have and never will!" And Jac, who had indeed given her one of her best 'Miss Naylor' looks, realising the truth of her friend's statement, exchanged a smile with Jonny, shrugged her shoulders and got on with writing her notes up…...


	4. Life Skills and Leftovers

**Hi All. Sorry this is another long chapter where not very much happens but hopefully you'll still enjoy it. There'll be one more chapter a bit like this and then I promise the next few chapters will be a bit more eventful and hopefully emotive too. Thank you so much for all your reviews, it's really lovely to hear what people think, and please keep them coming.…..**

Saturday Evening, Darwin

Jonny approached the staff room on a mission to get a caffeine fix – he was really flagging now and wasn't quite sure how he was going to get through the final three and a half hours of his shift, and the thought that he was going to have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow filled him with something approaching horror. 'No more Mr Nice Guy' he resolved to himself, 'I'm never doing this again – the trust will just have to employ more nurses if they can't afford the agency fees!' He was even beginning to _nearly_ regret the energy he'd expended with Jac earlier in the day – **nearly**. Although he supposed that being dog tired would at least mean he'd get to sleep easier than he had last night - somehow his bed had seemed awfully empty without Jac in it, and it had taken him an age to drop off, and even then he hadn't slept particularly well. There was, however, the prospect of a lie-in to look forward to on Monday, and Jac had promised that, even though he was on a late, she'd come over to his, so it wasn't all bad. When he entered the staff room the first thing he noticed was the smell, which made his stomach rumble and reminded him that he hadn't eaten properly for ages. Then he saw Jil sitting on the sofa at the other end of the room, flicking through a magazine "Something smells good," he remarked, before adding . "Where's your partner in crime?"

"Jac?" Jil asked, and as Jonny nodded, continued. "Oh, she's just gone for a shower. Are you OK?"

"I'm flagging a bit now actually," Jonny admitted, "but it's nothing that a strong cup of coffee and a sit down won't fix," he continued, holding up his mug and walking over to the kettle.

"Are you hungry?" Jil asked, "cos there's some of the stuff I made left over if you want it."

"You know what," Jonny replied, "I'm actually starvin', hadn't realised until I came in here though, and my stomach rumbled at the smell."

"Oh great," Jil said getting up and heading towards the fridge.

"No, no," Jonny said, "I'll do it, you just sit down."

"Jonny, I'm pregnant not dying." Jil admonished, "I'm perfectly capable of heating some soup up in the microwave. Has Jac been saying something to you?"

"No, no not at all" Jonny rushed to reassure her, sensing that he'd unwittingly stumbled on a source of conflict between the friends. An impression that was confirmed by what Jil said next,

"Honestly, I think she's worse than Daniel for being over-protective, and I wouldn't have thought that was even possible."

"It's only because she cares," Jonny said, feeling duty bound to defend Jac.

"Oh, I know," Jil admitted, "but that only makes it _slightly_ less annoying. So what do you want – there's a bit of everything left. "

"Well, could I have a bit of everything then – I haven't had anything proper to eat for ages."

"Of course you can" Jil said smiling, "actually it's really good, I was worried that nobody would eat it and I can't stand wasting food. Do you want the soup first?"

"Whatever's easiest" Jonny said, stirring his coffee.

"Milk?" Jil asked holding up the carton.

"No thanks," Jonny replied, sitting down at the table "black's definitely the way to go, the way I'm feeling at the moment."

"Oh I know long days are just so….so long aren't they?" Jil agreed, popping a bowl of soup in the microwave. "You're a real sucker for punishment though, doing two in a row – I'd never have dreamt of even attempting that when I used to do shifts."

"Well don't worry – I won't be doing it again. I may be a soft touch but this really is above and beyond the call of duty – I _really_ don't get paid enough for this! Let's just say I'm not looking forward to tomorrow and leave it at that."

"Ohh," Jil said sympathetically, "have you got Monday off to recover?"

"No, but I'm doing a late so at least I'll be able to have a lie-in."

"Well that's something I suppose," Jil said, but continued, the concern evident in her voice "but it's not up to you to single-handedly reduce the hospital's agency nurse budget you know. You've got to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anybody else – staff burnout's a serious problem in the NHS you know."

"You sound just like my granny," Jonny said smiling.

"Well in this case I'd say your granny probably knows best – working too hard is definitely not good for you!" Jil said, as the microwave pinged and she busied herself taking the soup out and stirring it, before delving into her cool bag and taking a loaf of bread out of it.

"Believe me I know" Jonny assured her, smiling as she brought the bowl over to him where he was sitting at the table. "I'm always telling Jac there's more to life than work, not that she ever takes any notice."

"It's not just you," Jil said, "she doesn't take much notice of anyone. Well, unless they're saying something she wants to hear, obviously," she qualified. "Freshly baked," she added, as she placed the loaf of bread by Jonny's bowl, before sitting down opposite him, "not by me though – Tesco's best."

"This is lovely," Jonny said appreciatively.

"It's a really simple recipe – I'll leave it with Jac, she could knock it up easily."

"Jac – cook. Some hope!" Jonny exclaimed, "she's only got a kitchen cos it came with her flat."

"Ah no. No, you've made the rookie mistake there" Jil said, explaining herself further, "assuming that because someone doesn't do something, they can't. I happen to know that, when she puts her mind to it – Jac's actually quite a good cook. Life skills – you see."

"What?" Jonny asked.

"She had special lessons in them before she left care – cooking, budgeting, things like that – life skills. I suppose it's something, but well…it's hardly the best foundation to build your adult life on is it?" she concluded sadly.

"No, I don't suppose it is," Jonny agreed, once again wondering how Jac would be now if she'd had an upbringing more like his, and less like her own. They were both lost in their own thoughts for a few moments, until Jil shook her head and said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"You do realise how lucky you are to have her – Jac? " looking across the table at Jonny with an intense, almost fierce expression on her face, before casually dropping a bombshell into their conversation. "Especially because she was meant to marry my brother!"

Jonny, who had just taken a sip of his coffee was so surprised by this that it went down the wrong way and he began to cough. After a few moments when Jil was just beginning to get worried and wondering if she should offer to get him some water, he managed to get out, "Jac was engaged to your brother?"

"Oh no, no." Jil rushed to correct him, his reaction suddenly beginning to make sense to her. "Oh, sorry I didn't explain myself very well there. No, no, she was never engaged to Rob, they never even went out. No, what I meant, what I should have said is that in my head she was meant to marry him. That'd have been the perfect solution from my point of view, you see – then she really would have been part of the family. But of course, neither of them wanted to play ball, so another treasured dream of mine was dashed because of other people's lack of consideration – I mean, really how dare they not fall in love with each other" she concluded, grinning widely. "It's alright, I'm just about over it now – even if it does mean that I got Assumpta rather than Jac as a sister-in-law. And I'm so sorry about making you choke – are you OK now?"

"Yeah, yes I'm fine." Jonny said. "It was just such a surprise – I mean, I know you're best friends but I was wondering how you'd worked through that – a broken engagement's huge!"

"Mmm, I suppose it would have been, but luckily it wasn't an issue. And to be honest, Jac couldn't really be more a part of my family than she is already, even if she had married Rob." she concluded. "I know mum and dad think of her as a surrogate daughter and Rob always talks about his two little sisters, his two _annoying_ little sisters to be more precise. He says we gang up on him – which is a blatant lie, it just so happens that Jac and I share a lot of the same opinions, and well, we're not afraid of sharing them when someone disagrees with us."

"I don't doubt that for a minute," Jonny said, adding "and I bet you make a formidable team too."

"Yeah we do" Jil said definitely, "there's very little we can't do when we're together. You wouldn't believe some of the things we've got up to."

"You know what" Jonny said, "knowing Jac as well as I do, and getting to know you better, actually I bet I would. I don't think I'd put anything past you."

"And, I'd love to tell you some of our exploits but, again, if I did I'd have to kill you, and like I said before I really don't think I could face the cleaning that'd cause."

"Which reminds me," Jonny said, "when I came in here earlier to make those drinks for you and Steph, as if by magic all the cups had been washed up and put away. But I thought you said your cleaning-itis was better"

"I said it had improved" Jil corrected him, "not that it had been cured. And I also said I could now walk past the odd cup or spoon without feeling the need to wash them, and I'm sorry there is no way in the world that that amount of unwashed crockery and cutlery falls under that description. I mean, honestly, has no-one washed up since I was last here?"

"Erm, well I know Tara did some last week sometime – she was trying to keep on top of things after you'd done such a brilliant job. But well then she had a few days off, and I suppose by the time she got back everything had got a little bit out of hand, and it must have just seemed like too big a job. And to be fair she has been working really hard lately – trying to win the F1 prize, so if she's not in theatre, then she's got her nose stuck in a book or Jac's helping her with one of her assessments or she's working on her research project. I don't know when she finds the time to see Oli….or sleep, or eat even."

"And Tara's the only person on the whole ward who knows how to wash up, I suppose?" Jil asked

"It would seem so," Jonny replied, "but in my defence I normally get my drinks from the café downstairs – gives me an excuse to get off the ward."

"And means you don't have to risk getting food poisoning from the cups up here," Jil said pointedly.

"Mmm, maybe" Jonny admitted "but it's not jus…."

"It's ok," Jil interrupted, "I'm only pulling your leg. Believe me I've worked in the NHS long enough to know that washing up doesn't come up very high on the priorities of most people. In fact, in one place where I worked we got a dishwasher for that very reason – managed to justify the cost by saying something about it reducing the risk of cross infection and staff sickness."

"You know, I was going to try to get us a dishwasher" Jonny said, remembering the idea he'd had a few weeks back, before Jac-related concerns had taken over his thinking. "Maybe I will pitch it as an idea to Hanssen – I mean the worst he can do is say no, right? So really there's nothing to lose."

"Sounds like a plan," Jil replied. "You ready for the pasta?" she added, indicating his now empty bowl.

"Oh yes please, but don't worry" he said, noticing Jil standing up again, "I'll get it."

"Jonny!" Jil said, the warning in her tone of voice reminding him of their earlier conversation. "Do you want it warmed up?"

"I don't know – what do you think?"

"Mmm," Jil considered, "it probably does taste better."

"Ok then – warmed up it is" Jonny said, as Jil transferred some of the remaining pasta onto a plate and put it in the microwave.

"How come you've got so much left" he asked, indicating the still sizeable portion of pasta that Jil was just putting back in the fridge.

"Well, I figured that it was bound to get eaten – I know how bad the midnight munchies get when you're working night shifts - so I just cooked the whole packet. It's just as easy really, and to be honest I'm used to cooking lots of pasta - I need to be the amount my family eat when they come over."

"Well I'm not complaining." Jonny said, "You planning to come down for any more weekends? If so I'll put my order in now."

"Sorry, no" Jil replied, "this should be the last weekend Daniel's away for a while, a long while if I've got anything to do with it," she added. "He's assured me they've got someone else who can do what he does now, so he won't be the go-to person anymore. I mean I never really minded before, well as long as I wasn't alone in the house after we moved, but I'm 24 weeks now and I really don't want him more than a couple of hours drive away. And when Robin comes I think I'm going to need all the help I can get – and if he thinks he's going to get out of getting up in the middle of the night by jetting off to the four corners of the world to sleep in posh hotels for work, he's got another thing coming! That's not unreasonable is it?"

"No, not at all," Jonny said. "What is it he does?"

"You know what" Jil admitted, as she took the pasta from the microwave and placed it in front of Jonny, before going to sit opposite him once again "to tell you the truth I don't really know exactly. He works for a company which designs and builds medical scanners - you know CT's and MRI's –and he's involved with the engineering and programming side of things. He has explained it to me, but well, I'm definitely more of a left brain kind of person, and to be honest most of it went over my head and the bit I did understand I've forgotten – sorry."

"Oh no that's fine – I think I get the gist. I've often wondered how our CT and MRI work – I mean I know the basics but it'd be great to have more of an idea."

"Ah well I'll let Daniel know – I'm sure he'll be more than happy to tell you all about their inner workings, in great detail, when you meet him. Although, I warn you, once he gets started he's very hard to stop – people quite often complain of brain ache when they've been foolish enough to ask him about his job."

"Well, a bit of brain ache's not necessarily a bad thing" Jonny said cheerfully, "at least it shows that you've actually being thinking. This is great by the way," he added, indicating the pasta.

"Oh good," Jil said. "Well, like I said I'll let him know that he's got a willing victim to talk to – he'll be really pleased. Yeah, we'll have to arrange a get together – it's a shame Jac and I live so far apart – it'd be ever so much easier to sort something out if we lived in the same city, or even on the same side of the country. Still, I'll try and get something organised before this little one makes an appearance" she said, stroking her bump. "Cos I suspect that after Robin comes double dates will be one of the last things I'll be thinking of."

"Are you excited?" Jonny asked.

"Yes, very," Jil said, beaming, "and nervous, and worried, and well, just about every other emotion you can think of. But now, I just can't wait to meet him or her, I mean, I know I've still got a bit to go, but well when I had the 20 week scan it was like it was all suddenly real. I suppose because you could really see it was a baby then – a very tiny perfect little human being. So yeah, yes excited is probably a good word to describe how I'm feeling at the moment."

"And have you got everything ready?" Jonny asked.

"Mmm, we've got the nursery decorated and things, although we're waiting to have the furniture delivered until a bit closer to my due date. And my mum's keeping the pushchair at her house – some old superstition about it being bad luck for the mum-to-be to have it. I know, I know," she said seeing the look on Jonny's face, "it's stupid, but well, I don't want to do anything that might jinx this," she explained, stroking her bump again. And Jonny, remembering what Jil had said about her previous pregnancy, and what Jac had said later about how devastated Jil had been, understood perfectly and said.

"Hey there's no need to explain my mum used to say that when you'd finish eating a boiled egg you should push the spoon through the bottom of the shell to let the devil out, and I still do that – and I'm not even religious, let alone believe in the devil."

At this Jil looked across at Jonny and said, with a growing smile on her face. "Now _that_ _is_ weird!"

"What's weird?" a voice they both recognised asked

"Jonny's egg shell superstition," Jil said, turning towards the door to see Jac in a pair of scrubs, with obviously wet hair, standing in the doorway. "After he's had a boiled egg he makes a hole in the bottom of the shell to let the devil escape."

"Yep," Jac agreed, "you're right that is weird."

"Hey, it's not that strange," Jonny countered, "and I don't do it to let the devil escape – I do it because I've always done it, and because my mum used to. So it's more of a habit than a superstition."

"Ok, ok, you're not weird" Jac conceded, "although obviously you are a bit" she continued. "But right now I don't have time to argue about it – I have a far more pressing issue to resolve." At this, both Jonny and Jil looked at her expectantly, before Jac said "My hair. You did bring the hair dryer didn't you?"

"Yes, and your straighteners," Jil replied, "although I always think it looks nice when you have that slight wave round your face."

"You and your hair," Jonny added. "You know" he said, addressing Jil, "the first time I saw her she was using her phone, when she shouldn't have been, to arrange a hair appointment."

"Mmm, she did mention that, amongst other things, when she told me about that people skills course." Jil replied, smiling knowingly over at him, causing him to blush as he thought about what some of those 'other things' might be. "What was it you said Jac?" she asked, "Some jumped up lobotomy merchant had had a go at you about using your phone and then took it off you."

"Lobotomy merchant – that's good!" Jonny said, admiringly.

"Isn't it" replied Jil, "although I'm not sure you'd be quite so keen on some of the names she called you when she found out you'd lied about being a 'lobotomy merchant'. She wasn't best pleased – well not at the start of the day anyway. Strangely enough, her attitude seemed to have mellowed by the time she got home – I can't imagine why" she concluded, switching her gaze between the pair of them and noting, to her eminent satisfaction, that they were both blushing. "But that's probably enough of a trip down memory lane for the moment so I'll just sort Jonny's pudding out and then we'll go and get ready." She said, looking over at Jac before she stood up once again, adding "and you can come in you know, we don't charge."

"I'm fine here thanks" Jac replied, "as I'm sure Jonny would be fine getting his own pudding," she continued pointedly, looking at him as she said it.

"Hey, I've already told her that" Jonny tried to defend himself.

"He has" Jil quickly interjected, looking over at Jac as she got the Eton Mess out of the fridge, "and I told him that I'm pregnant not dying," she continued, a slight edge of annoyance evident in her voice. "Like I've already told you at least a thousand times."

"Ok, ok – fine." Jac conceded.

"Thank you" Jil said sarcastically, as she put a bowl of Eton Mess down in front of Jonny, "allowing me to do something I was going to do anyway – you are so kind!"

"Ha, ha - you're so funny!" Jac replied. "Right, now you've finished doing your bit for the needy do you think we can actually start getting ready for this big night out of yours."

"Of course we can," Jil replied smiling, walking towards the doorway which Jac had already vacated heading towards her office, pausing before leaving to say to Jonny. "Bon appetit! I hope it helps you get through the rest of your shift, although even if that hasn't perked you up the sight of Jac dressed up to the nines definitely will. You're in for such a treat!" she concluded beaming, before following Jac down the corridor, turning once to wave at Jonny before disappearing from view as she rounded the corner.

And in the sudden silence that had fallen in the staff room Jonny sat for a few moments smiling, trying but failing to picture what a 'dressed up to the nines Bond-girl' Jac would look like (somehow that cream-bikini wearing Jac kept getting in the way), before he gave up, figuring that if what Jil said was anything to go by his imagination wouldn't be a patch on the real thing…..


	5. Speechless

**This should be the last of the fluffy chapters (at least for a while). Am not sure when the next update will be up - have a very busy few weeks with assignments and work so please bear with me, but I promise it will be done as quickly as I can. Hope you enjoy this one and please, as ever post a review if you can - it's so nice to hear what people think...**

* * *

_Saturday Evening, Darwin_

Jonny walked past Jac's office on his way back from the sluice room. He had been sorely tempted on his way there to peep through the glass in the door, and had managed to resist but now found that, even though he knew what it did, his curiosity had got the better of him and so stopped outside the door to see what he could see. Unfortunately this wasn't much – they must be at the other end of the office he surmised – maybe he'd be able to see more from the other door.

"What are you doing?" A loud voice assailed him from behind.

He turned guiltily, and after quickly bringing his finger to his lips, replied quietly, "Spying, or trying to at any rate."

"What?" Mo asked incredulously, at, if anything, a greater volume than before. "Why? What's goin…."

"Oh for goodness sake" Jonny said flustered, quickly walking up to her and bustling her away from Jac's office towards the nurse's station, "do you not understand the international sign for keep a lid on things woman?"

"What?" Mo asked again, now completely confused, and if she was honest more than a little peeved at Jonny's reaction to what seemed to her a perfectly reasonable question. I mean how often did you walk into work to see your best friend peering through the door of your boss's empty office?

"Fingers on lips Mo, fingers on lips – generally recognised as a sign to keep the volume down. Well by most people anyway." Jonny concluded, as they arrived at the desk.

"But why would I need to keep my volume down? And what were you doing anyway? If you need something from the office why didn't you just go in? You know the code?"

"I didn't need anything from the office – and even if I had done I couldn't have just got in, Jil would probably have killed me if I'd tried."

"Jil? What's she got to do with anything? Is she here?" Mo asked, as they both sat down behind the nurse's station.

"Yes, she's with Jac in the office getting ready for their big night out." Jonny explained.

"Jac's here too?" Mo asked, now even more confused, "Why is…what's she? Sorry, I don't get it!" she concluded suddenly, as she struggled to put all this unexpected information together to make some kind of sense.

"Right, OK," Jonny said who, now that the threat of imminent discovery had passed, felt much calmer. "Elliott isn't well – upset stomach" he elaborated, pre-empting Mo's next question, "and we had an urgent case come in and Jac's second-on-call today. But she's got Jil staying with her this weekend and they're going out tonight to some Ball. With me so far?" he asked, and seeing Mo nod continued, "And Jil had said that I was in for a treat when I saw Jac dressed up to the nines, and I was curious so I was.."

"Trying to sneak a peek." Mo finished off for him. "It's all starting to make sense now. You know I've never had you down as a Peeping Tom before."

"Hey, that's not fair" Jonny objected, "like I said I was just curious."

"Yes, well we all know what curiosity did, don't we?" Mo replied, before continuing, "So what did you see?"

"Now who's trying to get a cat killed?" Jonny asked smiling. "But to answer your question, nothing I couldn't see anything. They must have been at the other end of the office, although to be fair" he continued, glancing up at the clock, "I don't think I'll have to long to wait to see them legitimately now anyway. I'm sure I heard Jil say the cab was booked for 8, and it's nearly quarter to now, so they can't be too much longer in there anyway"

* * *

"I still can't believe you brought this dress." Jac said, looking her reflection up and down in the full length mirror Jil had somehow persuaded her to wheel into her office from the locker room, before continuing to apply her make-up. "I mean, what possessed you?"

"How much did you pay for it?" Jil asked, as she brushed her hair.

"What's that got to do wi…."

"How much, Jac?" Jil persisted.

"I can't remember really - £200 or so." Jac admitted.

"And how many times have you worn it?" Jil asked. Then when she received no answer, saying "Jac?!"

"I don't know," Jac replied, then seeing the look of disbelief on her friend's face finally confessing, "Twice, I suppose"

"Exactly – I'm helping you get your money's worth!" Jil explained, before continuing, "Whereas this" she said indicating her dress, "my dress was £56 from the Red Herring sale, and I've already worn it four times. Although to be honest, think this might be the last occasion I can wear it this time round – mum had to help me take it out this week, and I don't think there's any more wiggle room left in it."

"Oh hark at you with your bargain hunting and getting your money's worth from all your clothes," Jac said sarcastically, "what does that make it, £14 a wear?" Before something Jil had said, in amongst all that, finally penetrated her consciousness. "This time round? You mean you're planning to have another baby?"

"Well not straight away" Jil said, smiling, "but if everything goes according to plan – then yes, at some point, hopefully. Although, dad keeps saying we should wait till the first ones arrived before we even begin to think about the possibility of a second. But I think, if we can, we will – I wouldn't be without Rob now, and I don't think I'd want Robin to be an only child if I could help it."

"Yeah," Jac said, "I always liked the idea of a having a big brother, although Rob wasn't a bad substitute"

"Mmm – reckon that's why my whole marriage dream never went anywhere, but up in smoke" Jil agreed.

"Oh, you're not STILL going on about that are you?" Jac said, disbelievingly, "I can't believe you ever thought there was even the remotest chance of it being a possibility!"

"No, it's just I was telling Jonny about it this evening and you saying that reminded me about it, that's all" Jil explained.

"Why on earth were you telling Jonny about it?" Jac asked. "What's it got to do with him?"

"I was telling him how lucky he was to have you." Jil said, silencing whatever comment Jac had been about to make, "and then just happened to mention that you were meant to marry my brother. Poor guy nearly choked," she said, trying to stifle a giggle.

"I'm not surprised," Jac said, "I hope you told him it was in all your head?"

"Yep, I managed to explain eventually, but think he was quite shocked before I did. I don't think he could quite figure out how we'd managed to get over you dumping my brother at the altar."

"No I suppose that would have been a big ask," Jac agreed. "But I reckon we might have done it, you know."

"Mmm, maybe – I wouldn't put anything past us" Jil said, "but it's probably best that it was never an option. I can't imagine my life without you in it, well I can, but I'd rather not."

"I don't believe it!" Jac exclaimed, trying, as she normally did when things started to become emotional, to lighten the mood. "You don't mean to tell me that Julianna Lovell nee Santini has finally forgiven me for NOT marrying her brother, do you? Miracles will never cease!"

"Mmm, I suppose I have," Jil said smiling over at Jac, before saying after a quick glance at her watch, "Have you decided what you're doing with your hair yet? Because we've only got just over 10 minutes before we need to leave if we're going to get to the taxi for 8."

"I don't know," Jac replied. "What do you think?"

"Well I could put it up for you if you want – I've got enough clips, and we could leave some curls round your face to frame it. But then your hair always looks lovely, so however you have it you'll look stunning. And to be honest, in **that** dress I don't think anyone will even notice your hair."

"Alright, go on then Nicky Clarke do your worst. Put it up."

"Oh brilliant – I was hoping you'd say that – you are going to look SO gorgeous!"

* * *

Mo emerged from the staff room carrying a bowl of Jil's Eton Mess and made her way over to the nurse's station, where Jonny, who had just completed what felt like his hundredth set of half hourly obs, was writing up some patient notes. "You were right about this mate" Mo said, "it's gorgeous. Is Jil coming down on any other weekends that I'm working?"

Jonny looked across at her briefly before saying, "Sorry, no. Apparently, this is the last time her Daniel's going to be away until the baby's born, so she won't need to come down again."

"Oh right," Mo replied, sounding disappointed, as she sat down behind the desk, opposite Jonny. "I better make the most of this then I suppose. Although, it's probably not such a bad thing actually – I don't suppose Eton Mess is one of the recommended meals in the Holby Fit Club canon. "

"I'm sure it isn't." Jonny advised.

"But it's ok at the moment," Mo said, "cos night shift calories don't count!"

"What are you talking about?" Jonny asked, looking over at her.

"Oh yes, it's a well known scientific and medical fact that any calories consumed on a night shift don't count as part of your recommended daily allowance. I'm surprised a well-informed medical professional like you doesn't know that!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jonny said. "You keep on telling yourself that – just don't blame me when Sacha's lost more weight than you come Tuesday."

Mo shot a death ray stare over at him, but realised there was no point as he had turned back to carry on writing his notes. Reckoning that she had plenty of time before his shift ended to get him back for that comment, she was content to just carry on enjoying her pudding. She was doing just that when she heard a slight noise, and looking up saw Jac and Jil emerging from Jac's office. "Oh my!" she said softly before, without turning her head, continuing, "Jonny….Jonny – don't look now, cos if you do I think she'll have you!"

"What on earth are you going on about now woma….." Jonny, turning round, started to say before he too saw what she could see and stopped, automatically standing up as he did so, temporarily speechless, mid-sentence. It was Jac, _his Jac_ but like he had never seen her before. He had thought she had looked good on 'that date' but that was as nothing compared to how she looked now. She was wearing a full length, one shouldered red dress, which served to emphasise the alabaster-like quality of her skin. She also had her hair properly up (something he'd never seen before), complete with bejewelled, sparkling grips and a flower to hold it all in place, which showed off her neck in a way that, when she had her hair down you just couldn't see. And he was totally transfixed…..!

"So what do you think?" Jil asked beaming.

"Wow, you two really scrub up well." Mo commented, just about hiding her astonishment at the transformation that had occurred in her boss.

"Oh well I know ball gowns and bumps don't make the best bedfellows," Jil said, stroking her bump affectionately, "but beggars can't be choosers, and I don't think I look too bad in this.

"You look beautiful in it!" Jac said, "Both of you do" she added, giving Jil's bump an affectionate stroke of her own. "That colour really suits you. I've always thought you looked good in green."

"Yeah, that's true" Mo agreed, "that green coat you were wearing the first time you came here looked lovely on you too."

"Ahh, thanks" Jil said, beaming even brighter. "What about you Jonny, what do you think?... Jonny?...Jonny?"

"Oi, Jonny Mac" Mo said, rather more loudly than Jil had, and when he still didn't reply or even look at her, seemingly incapable, as he appeared to be of tearing his eyes away from Jac, she stood up and after walking the short distance to where he was standing lightly punched his arm and said again. "Oi, Jonny Mac – Jil's talking to you?"

"What?...Oww!" Jonny said, turning to look at Mo and rubbing his arm.

"I said 'Jil asked you a question'." Mo repeated, enunciating each word very slowly and clearly. "So it might be polite if you answered her," she continued.

"Oh right, yes," Jonny replied, still appearing slightly shell-shocked, before transferring his attention to Jil, "Sooo?"

Jil, who in the interlude between asking her original question had been exchanging amused smiles with Jac at Jonny's reaction, took pity on him, "I was wondering what you thought" she asked. "Will we do?"

"Oh, erm, yes," was all Jonny could come up with, his normal Celtic charm deserting him, having been bamboozled by the sight of Jac, "definitely!" he managed to add.

"I told you you were in for a treat, didn't I" Jil continued.

"Erm, yes" Jonny replied, the power of intelligent speech still eluding him. "Yes, you did. You just look so….so…" he began, looking over at Jac once more, and losing the power of speech again

"I don't believe it," Jac said, smiling "he actually can't think what to say. We've rendered Jonathon Maconie, the man who has an answer for everything, speechless."

"I'd say that was all down to you!" Jil replied, "but come on we've really got to get going. Don't want anyone to steal our cab do we? You got everything?" she asked. And when Jac nodded, obviously still amused by the reaction she'd caused in Jonny, they both started to walk towards the ward doors, stopping once to wave at Mo and Jonny. Then, just before they reached the exit Jil called back over her shoulder. "Don't worry Jonny - I'll protect her from the marauding hordes!" and then they were away.

* * *

'Marauding hordes!' Jonny was suddenly blasted from his Jac-filled fugue, like a rocket at Cape Canavarel. He hadn't thought of that, why hadn't he thought of that? "I wouldn't worry mate," Mo said, "don't think the hunting and fishing brigade are really Jac's cup of tea." And Jonny knew this was true, and also knew that, even if they were, the way things had been between him and Jac lately there was no way that any of the 'marauding hordes' would stand a chance with her. But he was still filled with an almost irresistible urge to abandon the rest of his shift and go after them – ask if he could come along too. Not because he thought he needed to but because he wanted to – he wanted to be there when she walked into that room and everyone turned to look at his gorgeous girl (as he was absolutely sure they would). He wanted to see the admiring glances she would garner and hear the compliments she would no doubt receive, and watch as she blushed, so very fetchingly, as she did so. He wanted to be with her tonight so he could proudly show to the world (or at least the members of the Wyvern and Somerby Hunt) that Jacqueline Naylor, consultant cardio-thoracic surgeon was his, and that he Jonathon Maconie, Transplant Co-Ordinator and Ward Manager, was hers!

"And that's the other reason I brought that dress." Jil said triumphantly, just after she and Jac had walked through the ward doors. "Because I** knew** it'd make him react like that – I mean how could it not!"

* * *

**If anyone would like to see the dress Jac is meant to be wearing you can catch a glimpse of it in this video ****on you tube (**just copy and paste this link into the youtube search bar: watch?v=zHMJ03IhroE). **I think it might be from the episode where Jac wins mentor of the year, but couldn't swear to it.**

**Also, if anyone was following my other story Jac&Jil I did add another chapter recently (I know I said it was finished before but I couldn't resist) so if you haven't already caught up on it, you might like to...**


	6. Madrid Mark Two?

**Hi Peeps. Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews. Hope you enjoy this next chapter - it's a bit shorter than the previous ones, which is probably what I'll do whilst I'm so busy (for the next couple of weeks) so hopefully I will be able to update fairly regularly. Enjoy, and as ever please review...**

* * *

_Monday Morning, Holby City Hospital_

Darwin

Tara put the phone down as she turned round to say, "That was Miss Naylor, she's on AAU. She wants us to start our obs without her and only bleep her if something urgent comes up."

"What's she doing on AAU?" Oli asked.

"I don't know." Tara replied, shrugging.

"Well didn't you ask?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's Miss Naylor!" Tara replied simply, giving him a look which let him knew exactly what a stupid question that was to ask.

* * *

A.A.U.

"Sacha, will you just look at her?"

"Jac, I'm fine"

"Please, for me." Jac persisted.

"Jac, I said I'm fine"

"Jil, you are **not** fine- you nearly fainted this morning"

"I did not nearly faint I had a dizzy spell, which isn't all that uncommon when you're pregnant, is it?" Jil said, turning to Sacha to appeal for support.

"Well erm no, they can be qui…"

"Sacha!" Jac exclaimed, in a tone of voice which he recognised, from their days working together on Keller, meant that he should shut up or face the risk of imminent violence. "I'm just asking you to examine her quickly, that's all – just do some basic obs."

"Why can't you do that?" Sacha asked, the confusion evident in his voice.

"_She"_ Jac said, pointing at Jil, "won't let me!" And seeing that this hadn't cleared up Sacha's confusion, further explained. "She won't hit _you_!"

"Ah right" Sacha said, the penny beginning to drop, "but well, even if I did have patient consent I couldn't do it anyway, as you very well know. All our patients are meant to go through A and E."

"That's what I said" Jil chipped in.

"I'm not having you sitting in that waiting room for four hours picking up god knows what from the unwashed masses." Jac said addressing Jil.

"Jac!" Sacha exclaimed, "you can't say that."

"Why not? It's true!" Jac replied. "Have you been to the ED recently? That waiting room smells more like a public toilet than a hospital and, like I said, I'm not going to let her have to put up with that."

"Jac," Jil said. "I don't want to even be here, but I certainly do not want to jump the queue, especially because" the exasperation growing in her voice, "I'M FINE!"

"That's what you said in Madrid!" Jac shot back, just as exasperated.

"That was completely different, and you know it!" Jil snapped. Before, after taking a deep breath and trying to strike a more conciliatory tone, continuing. "I'm just over-tired, that's all. We didn't get in till ten past two on Sunday morning, and even then we didn't go straight to bed did we?"

"No – but I don't think this is just over-tiredness"

"Jac, do you honestly believe that if I didn't feel OK I wouldn't tell you?" Jil asked "This is nothing like Madrid – for a start there's Robin" she continued, briefly rubbing her bump. "You must know I wouldn't do anything to put him or her at risk?"

"Of course I do," Jac replied quickly, "it's just I'm worried that's all" she concluded simply.

And Sacha, who suddenly saw an opening for his usual peace-making skills said in a deliberately calming voice. "Well Ok then – how about this? Jil, just to put Jac's mind at rest, why don't I quickly check you over? You know, just take your pulse, do your blood pressure, and then, when I give you the all clear.

"_If _you give her the all clear," Jil interjected, earning a death stare from Jil and an almost imperceptible shake of his head from Sacha

"Then you can go and get on with our day, and so can Jac." Sacha continued, as if Jac hadn't spoken. "After all, I don't suppose you want Jac to be worried do you?"

"No, I suppose not," Jil grudgingly admitted. "OK then – just a few checks and then I can go, right?"

"If they come out OK," Jac insisted again.

"Right?" Jil repeated, addressing Sacha after aiming another glare at Jac.

"Well, _I_ certainly wouldn't have any objection to your going about your business, _if_" he emphasised, "as Miss Naylor says everything is hunky dory with your health. Right, shall we?" he asked, flourishing his arms in a let's move action.

"I suppose so," Jil replied, half-heartedly. "Where are we going?"

"Erm," Sacha looked round the busy ward. "Tell you what, why don't we just go into the office, this way" he said leading Jil towards the door of the Consultant's Office. "I'll just go and get a blood pressure monitor and then I'll be with you, OK?" Then noticing Jac following along behind said, "I think it might be better if you wait out here Miss Naylor." This earned him one of Jac's most scary Miss Naylor looks, but from Jil a very definite and relieved sounding

"Definitely..yes…please!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So," Jil asked expectantly, sitting on Michael's chair in front of his desk, "can I go then?"

"Well," Sacha replied, "actually no, I don't think you can. Not yet anyway," he added hurriedly, seeing the look on Jil's face.

"But why not? I feel fine." Jil objected.

"Yes, but your blood pressure is slightly higher than I would like," Sacha explained.

"But I'm six months pregnant," Jil persisted, "surely that's normal isn't it?"

"Well yes, to a certain extent but" he continued, pre-empting whatever it was Jil was about to say, "it doesn't fit with the symptoms you've been experiencing. Feeling light headed, dizzy spells, nearly fainting , I'd expect your b.p. to be low not high, and your heart rate's slightly elevated too."

"Oh," Jil said, obviously disappointed. "So I won't be able to go home any time soon then?"

"Oh now, I didn't say that did I?" Sacha replied. "We'll just run a few more detailed tests and see where we are then, before we decide on that. OK?"

"Mmm, I suppose," Jil said. "What are you going to tell Jac?"

"Well I was thinking of the truth," he replied, "unless you've got any better ideas?" he added. "Although, if you have I'd rather you did the telling – I don't think I'll be able to keep any kind of pretence with her."

"No, I suppose you're right," Jil admitted. "She's not one to let things go is she, and she can normally spot when someone's keeping something from her a mile off. No, the truth it is then," she concluded, smiling wearily at Sacha, who offered her his hand to help her up. "I just hope she doesn't go all psycho-doctor on me…..!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I _knew_ there was something wrong!" Jac, who had been waiting impatiently outside the office, exclaimed, when Sacha told her the results of his investigations. Before, after glancing over at Jil who was standing just outside the office door, and noticing how dejected she looked, continuing. "So, what's the plan from now on?"

"Well, I thought I'd run some more tests and then see where we are when all the results are in. She still wants to go home today if she can."

"Yeah, well Daniel's back this evening, so she's got a good reason. But she has agreed to all this?"

"Yes, _she_ has," Jil, who had wandered over to where they were talking replied. "But I'm not wearing one of those hospital gowns," she declared, with a look on her face that Jac knew of old.

"Oh, right erm," Sacha said, "well I suppose you don't have…although it is normally easi…"

"It's OK," Jil interrupted Sacha's prevarications. "Jac can go and fetch my holdall from her car and then I can change into the pyjamas I bought, can't you Jac?" she concluded, flashing her an oh so fake smile.

"Of course," Jac replied, through gritted teeth, flashing a fake smile of her own back at her.


	7. Bleeping Nightmare!

**Well, after this evening's little Jac/Jonny bombshell (which is I think only the very beginning of something seismic) couldn't resist updating. Apologies again for the delay - will hopefully have a bit more time soon (exam and 1 assignment will be out of the way by Friday), so should be able to update more regularly. **

* * *

_Monday Morning, Holby City Hospital_

AAU

"What's in the tin?" Sacha, who could tell, by how intensely Jac was staring at the drawn curtain behind which Jil was currently getting changed, that she was itching to go and see her friend, tried to distract her by asking.

"What?" Jac replied, blankly.

"The tin," Sacha repeated, puzzled, pointing at the Roses' tin Jac was holding under her arm. "What's in it?"

Jac, who had actually forgotten that she had brought this in from the car along with Jil's bag looked down at it, and then said "Flapjacks."

"Oh right," Sacha said surprised.

"Do you want one?" Jac asked distractedly, holding the tin out, adding "Apparently they're legendary."

"Oh erm, well I'm not sure if I can have oats tod…"

"Fine!" Jac replied, returning the tin to its previous position under her arm.

"Although, I suppose" he continued, "just one can't hurt, can it? They're a bit like solid porridge anyway, aren't they? And everybody's always going on about how good that is to eat for breakfast." This comment garnered him the smallest hint of a smile from Jac, and she took the top off the tin and held it out for him. He took one of the flapjacks and bit into it, scattering crumbs onto the floor. "Mmm," he said after a few seconds, these are delicious. Are they homemade?" and continuing, between bites, when he saw Jac nod, "Who by?"

"Me," Jac replied. "or me and Jil actually. We had a huge cook-off yesterday and these were the last things we made. She assures me that people can't get enough of homemade treats, so they were meant to help people get through the Monday morning blues."

"I didn't know you could cook." Sacha said.

"No, not many people do." Jac replied, before her attention was caught by the sound of a curtain being drawn and she immediately turned to see Jil standing in her pyjamas beside her bed.

"What took you so long?" Jac asked Jil, approaching her bed space after putting the tin of flapjacks down on the nurse's station desk.

"Well, I have to look my best don't I?" Jil replied smiling. "We wouldn't want any of your colleagues thinking your best friend was a scruff bag now, would we?"

"Never mind what you look like, it's how you _actually_ are that matters. Although I very much doubt anyone would ever think you looked like a scruff bag and, believe me, none of my colleagues would dare. So, how are you feeling?" she asked, bringing the topic of conversation back to the matter at hand.

"I'm fine," Jil replied and, noticing the sceptical look on Jac's face, continued. "No, really, I feel perfectly normal, or as normal as I ever do" she added smiling. "So what's the plan" she said, addressing Sacha, who had finished his flapjack and was standing beside Jac.

"Well I thought I'd start by doing a more detailed examination of you – you know, listen to your chest and things" he said, holding his stethoscope up, "and then maybe a blood test"

"What about an ECG?" Jac asked. "With her history I'd have thought that was a priority." Then, seeing the slightly blank look on Sacha's face, turned back to Jil and said, "You have told him about your heart problems haven't you?"

"No, not yet."

"Oh for god sake Jil," Jac said, sharply, "why not?"

"I don.."

"Honestly Jil for such an intelligent woman you can't half be stubbornly obtuse at times."

"That's rich coming from you!" Jil replied.

"Erm sorry," Sacha interrupted, desperately trying to avoid a repeat of their earlier disagreement, "what's all this about heart problems?"

"He would have seen when he examined me anyway." Jil continued, determined to have the last word, before, turning her attention to Sacha and answering. "I've had a bit of trouble with my heart in the past but.."

"A bit of trouble," Jac exclaimed

"but" Jil continued, raising her voice slightly and pointedly ignoring Jac's interruption "I've been fine for years now, _and_ I don't feel anything like I did then, now."

"Right, ok." Sacha said, still trying to decrease the tension, "when you say a bit of trouble with your heart, what do you mean?"

"She means" Jac said, before Jil had a chance to answer, "three operations in nearly as many years, a three day stay on ITU , a place on the transplant list and finally an experimental assistive cardiac device which, miraculously, seemed to have worked really well."

"Ah well, in that case," Sacha said, "I think an ECG is probably a good idea."

"She's making it sound a lot more dramatic than it actually was," Jil said, "the first three operations weren't that serious at all."

"Any operation you have on your…." Jac began, before she was interrupted by her bleep going off. "Oh what now?" she asked irritably, continuing in the same vein once she had looked at it. "Darwin! I told them only to bleep if something urgent came up."

"Well then you'd better go," Jil said, "because I'm sure they wouldn't have if it hadn't. But if it makes you feel any better I promise I'll tell Sacha all about everything that has ever happened to my heart, OK?"

"OK, you make sure you do then," Jac replied, "because you do know that if _you_ don't _I_ will, when I get back."

"Yes Jac," Jil replied, "I do know that."

"Right," Jac said, "I'll be back as soon as I can, OK?"

"There's no rush – take your time." Jil said, adding quietly, "I could do with a bit of a break from you."

"What?" Jac asked, suspiciously.

"Nothing," Jil replied, smiling brightly. "I'll see you when you get back."

"Right, ok." Jac said unconvinced. "Phone me when you get any results?" she told Sacha, who nodded. Before, with one last questioning look at her friend she headed for the doors of AAU, picking up the tin of flapjacks on her way.

* * *

Darwin

"Good catch, St Trinian's." Jac said to Tara, as they came out of the side room, who beamed in response. "Although, I'm sure Miss Effanga could have dealt with it," she continued.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry about having to bleep you, it's just Mo, Miss Effanga," Tara corrected herself, noticing the look on Jac's face, "was doing a chest drain and I really didn't think it could wait."

"No well, you may have a point." Jac conceded. "And as a reward for your diligence you can have the privilege of getting me a latte," she continued, handing Tara a five pound note "before you and sonny Jim over there" she said, indicating Oli who was on the phone at the nurse's station, fill me in on everything else that has been going on with my patients. Go on" she said, shooing Tara towards the ward doors, "my coffee won't fetch itself." She watched Tara leave, thinking to herself 'we might make a cardiac surgeon out of her yet' before walking over to the nurse's station. She had decided that, as Jil was in Sacha's very safe hands and he had said he would let her know when any of her results came in, she might as well stay on Darwin for a while, and actually do what she was paid for. She waited for Oli to come off the phone before, starting as she meant to go on, suddenly throwing (figuratively speaking) Mrs Thele's symptoms, which Tara had correctly diagnosed, at him, to make sure that he was still at least as good as she was.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Right, so can you get a nurse to organise Mrs Phillips discharge paperwork and then go through her medication regime with her and her husband when he comes in to pick her up?" Jac asked Tara, adding another thing to the list of things to do Tara was frantically scribbling down. "And," she continued, "you'll need to arrange a CT for Mrs Thele too, an MRI would have been better but her pacemaker's put the kybosh on that. And I want someone to go down with her, so you and Valentine can fight that out amongst yourself. OK?"

"Yes, Miss Naylor," Tara replied, automatically. "What about Beth Hardew?"

"Has the chest X-Ray come back yet?"

"Yes, the chest drain's positioned correctly and her lung volume has increased."

"Fine, well keep her on 15 minute obs for now and if nothing's changed she can come off them at lunchtime."

"Where is Valentine?" Jac asked, looking round from her position at the nurse's station to try and spot her CT1.

"Speaking to Mr Percy," Tara replied, "he's trying to talk him out of making a complaint."

"What about?" Jac asked, suspiciously. Her tone of voice implying that if it was anything any of her team had done, they'd be sorry.

"Oh no, it's nothing any of the staff have done." Tara hurried to reassure her, marvelling yet again how much Miss Naylor was able to convey in so few words, and determined, as always, to try and find out how she did it. "Apparently, he's having trouble sleeping – Mr Jarrett snores" she explained further, "and he's very disappointed that he can't have a room of his own."

"But we don't have any side rooms available," Jac said.

"I know, and I think that's what Oli's trying to explain to him now."

"Honestly – this is a hospital not a hotel!" Jac exclaimed, exasperatedly. "I don't know what people expect – they come in, receive life-saving healthcare from the best people around, plus bed and board, _all for free_, and then they moan about having a bit of trouble sleeping! He'd have no problem sleeping if he was dead would he?!" she concluded, saving her best till last.

"Erm, no..no I don't sup…." Tara replied.

"That was a rhetorical question, Dr Lo," Jac said, wearily, shaking her head, at her F1's seeming lack of understanding. Before continuing, "Tell Valentine, if he hasn't sorted it out I'll have a word with our Mr Percy later – see if I can't persuade him not to complain. OK?" Tara nodded, hoping for Mr Percy's sake that Oli had managed to change his mind about that complaint, because she wouldn't want to be in his shoes, or more accurately his slippers, if he hadn't managed to. Miss Naylor's powers of 'persuasion' were legendary round the hospital and Tara really wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of them. "Right," Jac said, making a face as she drained the last of the, now cold, coffee Tara had got her from its cup, before throwing it unerringly into the bin situated just next to where Tara was standing a few yards away. "I'll be in my office" she announced standing up, "if anyone from AAU calls you let me know strai…". She was interrupted by her bleep, and looking at it said, "Never mind" reaching over for the phone "I think this is…". Then her bleep went off again, and then again and Tara saw a panicked look appear on Jac's face as she dropped the phone back on its cradle, said "Oh God" and turned and began to run down the corridor towards the ward doors, her bleep still sounding. Just managing to avoid a collision with Oli who had just left Bay 2, she called back as she approached the ward exit, "Oli, you're in charge until Mo gets back!" and was gone. Leaving a bewildered Oli and a concerned Tara in her wake.

"Where the hell's she going in such a hurry?" Oli demanded of Tara.

"I don't know," Tara answered, "but something's up – you should have seen her face when her bleep kept going off. Oh... I hope it's nothing too serious"….

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**Hope you enjoyed - as ever please, please review!**


	8. Behind the Curtain

**Next chapter. Enjoy, and as ever please review...**

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_Monday Morning, Holby City Hospital_

Stairwell

Jac powered down the stairs, jumping down the last few steps of each flight to gain a few seconds, ignoring the twinge in her knee that made its presence felt as she reached the lower floors, driven on by her bleep which was still going off intermittently. Her mind was racing– filled with jumbled images of Jil lying in an ITU bed, premature babies in incubators and Daniel's face, all accompanied by the soundtrack of the reactions of countless relatives she had given the worst news imaginable to over the course of her career. And as she ran, she repeated over and over and over again, the mantra she had been muttering to herself since she'd left Darwin, "Please let her be OK. Please let her be OK. Please let her be OK." She didn't notice any of the people she passed in the stairwell and, luckily, everybody she did meet had heard her coming, and sensing her urgency kept out of her way as she rushed past them. Although, several of the hospital staff did then look over the bannisters to watch her progress wondering, as they did so, where on earth Miss Naylor was heading to in such a hurry, before carrying on with what they had been doing, confident that if it was anything worth knowing they soon would, the hospital gossip machine being what it was.

After what seemed like an eternity to Jac she finally reached the ground floor and dashed along the corridor to AAU, she arrived at the door and desperately pressed the button that would gain her admittance. Before, remembering that her ID badge would work, bursting through the doors, stopping dead inside as she saw and heard her worst fears realised. The curtains were drawn around Jil's bed space, but the material did nothing to muffle the sound of the numerous alarms that were going off behind them. Slipping in to auto-pilot, she went to move forward only to find herself stopped in her tracks by someone's arm around her waist holding her back. "Hey, Jac no!" Michael Spence's American drawl said. "You can't go in there, you'll put them off."

"Get off me," she said, desperately, struggling to extricate herself from his hold, "I need to…."

"No," Michael repeated firmly, "you _need_ to let them do their jobs."

"Well why aren't you in there helping?" she asked, knowing he was right but still determined to do something to help Jil. "You should be in there, you're the consultant!"

"Sacha and Chrissie have got it" Michael continued, calmly. "He won't be doing anything different than I would, and he knows far more about Jil than I do, so I'd say on balance he's the best man for the job, wouldn't you?" Sensing that Jac was a little bit calmer he relaxed his hold on her, ever so slightly, and steered her towards the nurse's station. He had managed to manoeuvre her close to one of the chairs that was behind it, and was just about to try and get her to sit down on it when the alarms that had been sounding behind the curtain stopped. And, once again Jac became unwieldy, tense and resistant to his efforts to move her, the entire focus of her attention centred on the curtain that surrounded Jil's bed. Seconds passed, and they seemed long to Michael, so he could only begin to imagine how they felt to Jac. And they waited, and then the curtain was pulled slightly away from the wall and Sacha appeared, saying immediately "It's ok, she's ok." And Michael, feeling Jac sag as she breathed in, realised that she'd been holding her breath since the alarm had stopped. She sat down suddenly, surprising him and almost pinning his arm behind her as she did so. It was as if the wind had been taken from her sails, and all the stress and strain of the last few minutes had suddenly hit her like a bolt of lightning. "Are you ok?" he asked, which was, he knew a stupid question to ask in the circumstances. Jac just nodded, further convincing him that she was actually anything but OK – she'd never have let something like that pass on a normal day.

By this time Sacha was at the nurse's station, and after looking at Jac and exchanging a concerned glance with Michael also came behind the desk. He crouched down by her chair and said, "Chrissie's just sorting everything out and then you can go and see her OK?"

And this promise seemed to flick a switch in Jac, and she sat upright in her chair, and asked in a voice only a little different from normal. "What happened?"

"Well, I was just about to do the ECG when suddenly her heart rate slowed and then she had a brady. That caused her oxygen saturation to drop which I don't think the baby was too happy about."

"But her heart didn't stop?" Jac asked.

"No, and we didn't need to shock her, although I did have the crash trolley just in case. We gave her atropine and some oxygen and her heart rate started to come back up."

"And the baby?"

"I could hear a strong heartbeat after, but she'll need a scan to check, just to be sure." Sacha replied.

"Are her bloods back yet?"

"No, not yet, I didn't fast-track them because she seemed fine. I'll get on to the labs now, see if I can speed them up." He offered.

"And the ECG?" Jac asked, now that the initial panic had subsided, trying to retreat to her favoured position of (semi-)detached professional, to avoid thinking about what had just happened and what it might mean.

"Didn't get a chance to do it" Sacha replied, shaking his head, "she went off just as I was about to set it up."

"Don't worry about it," Jac said, "there's no point doing it now, not until she's stable again anyway. I'll get it sorted when she's up on Darwin."

"Ok," Sacha replied. "I'll phone them and get it sorted."

"You sure she nee…" Michael began, before stopping when he saw Jac's face, and noticed Sacha frantically shaking his head from behind her chair.

"Yes, I'm sure," Jac said, enunciating each word very carefully. "Where else would you suggest a 6 month pregnant woman with a history of heart problems, who's just had a bradycardic episode should go? Home?"

"Ok, ok" Michael said, "I was just asking."

"Well, don't!"

"Oh," Sacha said, trying to break the tension, "I got in touch with Professor Koppelman at the Royal Brompton – he's sending Jil's notes over. Luckily they've all gone electronic there so we shouldn't have to wait for anyone to photocopy them all and courier them over. He said it might take a bit of time to organise but he was going to send them via NHS email. I'll check if they've come through yet. And," Sacha continued, "he also told me to pass on my regards to you – apparently he's been following your career with interest since he first met you. Reckons he always knew you'd make it as a consultant, considering how tenacious you already were when you were an F2. You certainly made an impression on him – as soon as I mentioned Jil's name he asked if I had anything to do with you."

"Yeah, well," Jac replied, a slight smile briefly replacing the worried look she'd worn since she sat down, "I suppose I did harangue him a little bit when we first met. Thanks though."

"What for?" Sacha asked, puzzled.

"Contacting him and sorting that out," Jac answered, "I know how manic you are down here normally, and I know you were only really seeing Jil as a favour to me. So thanks for taking the time, making the effort."

"No need to thank me. I was just doing my job, ma'am" Sacha replied, in a terrible American accent, which earned him, as he hoped it would, another small smile from Jac.

"Well you two seem to have everything here under control." Michael commented, "so if it's OK with you" he continued, addressing Jac as he moved from behind the nurse's station, "I'll get on with my actual work. But if there's anything you need me to do – you just shout OK."

"Yeah, OK," Jac said, "and..thank you." Seeing the questioning look on Michael's face, continuing, "for earlier, you know, that" she said pointing over to the spot where he had stopped her.

"Hey don't sweat it," Michael replied, "once a homey always a homey, right?" reminding Jac of the time they had spent working together on Keller, and garnering a weak laugh from her too

"Yeah, I suppose," Jac agreed, "as long as you don't think it gives you carte blanche to put your arms around me whenever you want to, anyway."

"Would I?" Michael called back over his shoulder innocently, as he walked away, realising that Jac must be feeling better if she was saying things like that to him

"I wouldn't put it past you." Jac called back to him, earning herself a sarcastic smile and a wave from Michael before he turned the corner. Jac's attention then returned to Jil's bed space, around which the curtains were still drawn. "How long will it be before I can see her?" she asked Sacha, who could sense her anxiety levels rising again now she had nothing to focus on but Jil.

"I'll go and see how Chrissie's getting on," he said. Just before he reached the bed-space, however, Chrissie emerged from behind the curtain and they both had to stop dead to avoid a collision. "How is she?" he asked her quietly, indicating, by the smallest movement of his head, where Jac was.

Chrissie, had a very quick glance and seeing that Jac had stood up, quickly replied, "She's stable," before walking over to the nurse's station and repeating the information for Jac. "She's stable – blood pressure, oxygen saturation and heart rate all back to normal. She wants to see you though."

"Thanks Chrissie," Jac replied, the relief coursing through her. She was OK, Jil was OK – for the moment anyway. 'Now all we've got to do is find out what's wrong and fix it,' she thought. Before, consciously pushing these thoughts away to focus on what was important right now – seeing Jil. She walked around and out of the nurse's station, suddenly becoming aware that her legs felt a little bit shaky. She reached the curtain and after taking a deep breath drew it back slightly and walked in, she saw Jil sitting up looking pale and a little bit scared, and said shakily. "Don't you ever do anything like that to me again – do you hear!" Before, pulling out the chair that was beside the bed with one hand, and taking her best friend's hand with the other, she sat down.


	9. Psycho Doctor

**Sorry about the delay in updating this, hopefully new chapters will be a bit more regular from now on. Hope you enjoy and as ever please review – I really love reading everybody's comments!**

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_Monday Afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

Lift

Jonny held the cups of coffee he had bought at the café downstairs carefully, keen not to spill any of the contents. As the lift continued its slow journey upwards, stopping at every floor to let people in and out he thought, as he nearly always did, that he really should have used the stairs. As the lift got closer to its final destination, the 6th floor and Darwin, Jonny reflected on the effect one phone call could have. He had been called in early for his late shift, by an exasperated and increasingly desperate Mo to, in her words, 'do something about Jac'. Apparently, Elliott was still at the university and would be for some time and no-one else on the ward seemed capable of coping with her, so Mo had called the only other person who might stand half a chance.

Up to that point Jonny's morning had been progressing fairly normally – his internal 'Jac-watch' alarm had woken him, as usual around six, but he had managed to go back to sleep for a couple of hours, a fact he was mightily relieved about, because he couldn't see himself getting through his shift without a bit more sleep. Jonny was finding that even total exhaustion wasn't able to negate the 'Jac-effect' – despite feeling like death warmed up when he finally arrived home on Saturday, and if anything, slightly worse on Sunday, he had still found it hard to sleep on both nights. He had found himself wondering, whilst he was lying in bed, what she was doing, and particularly on Saturday night found it hard to switch off the image of her as she'd appeared before the ball – just so, so….so exquisite. And he had also realised that he missed Jac's physical presence next to him in bed – it occurred to him that, up until this weekend, for the last couple of weeks he had slept better than he had for ages, and he knew it was because she was there with him. And although he was prepared to admit that what they did before going to sleep probably played a part in this, he knew that wasn't the main reason. Just her being there, near him, in his arms, was enough as he'd found when Jac had arrived at his one night last week, after performing a particularly long and intricate operation had left her so exhausted that she'd fallen asleep in bed whilst he was brushing his teeth and before they'd done anything more than enjoy a couple of their 'deep and meaningful' kisses, whilst they were sitting on his sofa waiting for their dinner to cook. He had idly wondered, when he was lying in bed that morning, whether it was the same for her – if she'd had trouble sleeping in her own bed on those three nights he'd been working, and had almost made up his mind to ask her that night. Not that he expected her to tell him, even if it was the case for her. But he reasoned that if he told her it was like that for him – that he missed her when she wasn't there – it might help her to feel more secure about his feelings for her. 'And you never know' he had thought to himself 'she might just surprise you and admit that she missed you too'. Because you never could tell with Jac – she had a habit of surprising him, which was he knew one of the things he loved about her - one of the many things. He had been looking forward to catching up with her properly tonight because the phone call yesterday hadn't really hit the spot. He had somehow managed to resist the temptation to call both when he got up and in his morning break, and had then been incredibly disappointed when there was no answer on either Jac's home or mobile number when he eventually called in his lunch break. So when she had phoned him back a little while later, explaining that she and Jil had been at the supermarket and hadn't heard her mobile over the noise in there, just hearing her voice had been enough, but in truth he couldn't wait to actually see her, to touch her again. However, since _Mo's_ phone call he had realised that it was unlikely this would happen for quite some time – knowing as he did that if Jil was sick (and from what Mo had said it definitely sounded like there was something wrong with her) then spending time with him wasn't likely to be top of Jac's priority list. Actually, he was slightly worried about how Jac would cope if there was something seriously wrong with Jil. From what Mo had said she seemed to have gone into her best (or worst) 'Miss Naylor' mode, but he was aware that this was one of her many defences, and that, in reality, she was probably terrified and he wondered how long this facade of hers would last. The lift had finally reached the 6th floor and Jonny stepped out and, after the briefest of pauses outside the door whilst he took a deep breath, entered Darwin…..

* * *

He paused inside the ward doors and scanned the ward looking for Jac – normally her flame-coloured hair made her easy to spot but he couldn't see her on his first visual sweep. He continued down the corridor looking in to the bays on either side, but could still no sign of her. He heard the unmistakeable sound of a curtain being drawn back from a bed behind him and before he had turned round was accosted by Mo. "Thank God you're here!" she said, hugging him round his neck, "Oh, is one of them for me?" she asked, indicating the cups in Jonny's hands, and before he had a chance to answer, took one of them from his hands and had a sip, "Urrghh," she said, making a face, "no sugar!"

"Well it wasn't meant for you," Jonny explained, rather peeved, "I bought it for Jac – to help with the whole Jil thing.

"It's going to take more than a coffee to 'help with the whole Jil thing'," Mo countered, "I'm not sure even a ketamine injection would be enough to calm her down." She saw the disbelieving expression on Jonny's face and continued, "No, I'm serious Jonny – she's been manic since she came up with Jil from AAU."

"So, where is she now?" Jonny asked.

"Oh, she got fed up of shouting at the lab rats down the phone," Mo replied, "so she's gone to shout at them in person. I really wouldn't want to be in that lab at the moment – I'm betting there'll be even more tears"

"Even more?" Jonny asked.

"Oh yes" Mo said, "she's already reduced Sylvie to tears, and she almost managed to do the same with Vanya."

"Vanya?" Jonny asked incredulously, "Vanya, Vanya?"

"Yes, Jonny!" Mo answered, as if she was talking to a small child "Vanya, Vanya! Honestly, how many people do you think we have working here called Vanya?"

"Oh," Jonny said, thinking of how Vanya would have been one of the last people he would have thought anyone would ever nearly make cry, "has she been _that_ bad then?"

"Worse mate" Mo declared. "Imagine her in the worst mood you've ever seen her in, times it by ten and then add a bit more irritation to the mix and you'll probably be picturing her half as bad as she's been today!"

Jonny gulped, and then, dreading the answer but feeling compelled to ask the question said. "And you've called me in early to do what exactly?"

"Something!" Mo stated simply. "I don't know what but you've got to do something, cos if this carries on I don't think there'll be anybody willing to come in to work tomorrow. And she's got a list this afternoon."

Jonny's 'spider-senses' were kicked into play at this comment, and he said suspiciously "So?"

"So," Mo replied, trying to sound nonchalant, but failing spectacularly, "so, someone's got to find out if she's up to it."

"Oh no, no, no" Jonny said hurriedly, "I'm not doing that."

"Come on Jonny," Mo replied, "we can't have her operating if her mind's not on the job, and I'm not sure it is"

"Well you ask her then" Jonny countered.

"I can't ask a surgeon who's senior to me if she's fit to practice?" Mo explained.

"But I can?" Jonny asked "Me – a _nurse _can ask a senior consultant cardio-thoracic surgeon if she feels focussed enough to perform the operations on her afternoon theatre list? Because I suppose I don't need my head!" he concluded bitterly.

"Jonny – you're the only person apart from Elliott and maybe Hanssen who could ask, AND YOU KNOW IT" Mo exclaimed

"So get Elliott or Hanssen to do it then"

"Elliott's in some meeting at the university till at least three and Hanssen's at a conference in Birmingham, and I'm not sure Jac would want him to know that we have concerns about her ability to complete her theatre list anyway."

"Oh, alright then," Jonny, realising how much worse Jac would feel if Hanssen knew, reluctantly agreed, "but you better be on hand with tea and sympathy" he demanded, and after a moment's further thought, added, "And the first aid box might come in handy too."

"Good man" Mo said, thanking her lucky stars that Jonny cared as much as he did about Jac. She would never have contacted Hanssen in reality but had guessed that by suggesting that it would be bad for Jac if she had to he would acquiesce to her demand, thereby saving her from having to question Jac's current competence. She felt slightly guilty about her subtle mind games, but any guilt was vastly outweighed by the relief she felt that it wouldn't be her doing the asking. And, she reasoned Jonny was far better placed than anyone to ask such a sensitive question of Jac, particularly in the state she was in at the moment. Her musings were interrupted by Jonny, who had, from his tone of voice been asking her a question, and receiving no response, for some time. "Sorry, what?" she asked.

"I said," Jonny asked, sounding more than a little annoyed "how is Jil anyway?" desperately hoping that her answer would reassure him that there was actually no real reason for him to worry about either her or Jac.

"Well, she's fairly stable at the moment – but her blood pressure has been all over the place and she's definitely fluid overloaded. And the ECG didn't look too promising either – decelerations all over the shop, and her T-waves were really variable too."

"Imaging?" Jonny asked, hoping against hope for some better news.

"The ultrasound was inconclusive, obviously a C.T's out of the question and the M.R.I.'s booked up with an out-patient list and even Jac at her most Miss Naylorish wasn't able to get Jil in, although she did manage to 'persuade' the staff to stay on at the end of their shift to scan her at the end of the list."

"And how's Jil doing?"

"Better than Jac I'd say." Mo replied, "She was obviously a bit shaken by what happened down on AAU but she managed to stand her ground against Jac about the CT, and I'm not sure I'd have been able to." Mo said, remembering the discussion she'd witnessed between the two friends – Jac trying to persuade Jil that they'd take all the precautions necessary to make a CT scan safe for her unborn baby, and Jil's polite but firm refusal to go down for one, even when Jac pulled out the emotional blackmail big guns. "You should ask her how she's doing yourself though," Mo continued, "she's in Bay 1 and I'm sure she'd love to see you. And I don't think Jac will be back till she's got the lab results physically in her hands, so you've got time before you need to speak to her, and your shift doesn't start for a while, so nobody else could complain either."

"OK" Jonny said.

"And don't worry," Mo added, smiling sweetly, "I'll come and get you as soon as Jac gets back."

"Thanks." Jonny said sarcastically back, "you're too kind!"

"That's me," Mo replied "kindness personified." Before, taking another sip of what was now her coffee, she made another face and said "Sugar, need to get some sugar" and headed off towards the staff room.

"Kindness personified my eye" Jonny muttered to himself, wondering how the devil he had got into this mess in the first place. Although he had to, grudgingly, agree with Mo that in Elliott's absence he probably was the best person to try and talk to Jac, actually maybe even if Elliott had been here he'd still have been the best person. Of course, this knowledge didn't make him feel any happier or confident about actually having to talk to her. He'd need to plan what he was going to say to her really carefully - he knew how much she hated being questioned about her work, but also knew that in this situation it was an absolute necessity. 'She'll see that won't she?' he thought to himself. 'Of course she won't' the unhelpful voice in his head replied, "she'll be furious! But it does need to be done." And Jonny knew that the unhelpful voice was right on all three counts, he'd just have to hope that she would at least understand why he was asking her. He could feel his stress levels rising as he continued to think about it and realising that this wouldn't be particularly conducive to formulating a plan of attack decided to follow Mo's advice and go and see Jil – figuring it would at the very least take his mind off the upcoming ordeal. He walked down the ward to Bay 1, spotting Jil straight away, she was sitting up in bed, surrounded by monitors and attached to a drip, but otherwise looking fairly healthy, although he thought as he walked towards her maybe she did look a little bit paler than normal.

Jil was flicking through a magazine but as Jonny approached looked up and seeing him exclaimed, "Jonny" before breaking into a smile which lit up her whole face. Then, after a quick look at her watch, her smile faded slightly to be replaced by an expression of uncertainty, as she asked. "What are you doing here already? I thought you were on a late today?"

Jonny, who had by this time arrived at her bedside, and knew that the whole truth probably wasn't the best option at the moment, used the premise of moving the chair by Jil's bed to a better position to think of an answer that might satisfy her. "Well," he said, finally sitting down, "a little bird told me that you'd been admitted and I thought you'd probably appreciate a bit of my company. Plus," he added, smiling, "it'll give me a chance to pump you for more information about Saturday night cos Jac didn't really say much yesterday when she phoned, and I still know nothing about those feminine wiles you were talking about either"

"Well, you can ask about those," Jil said, returning his smile, "but like I said you've no chance of getting anything about them from me. I may not be 100% but it'd take more than a bit of heart trouble to make me reveal those!" She saw Jonny's smile falter as she mentioned being ill and said, "I am OK you know – really I feel fine, well maybe not fine fine, but OK. All this" she added, indicating the bed and all the equipment surrounding it, "it's just a precaution. Just Jac being Jac – hopelessly and annoyingly overprotective." And the mention of Jac's protectiveness seemed to trigger something in her mind, and Jonny noticed her expression change to one of vague suspicion as she said, "You've not been completely honest with me have you? You're not come in early just to keep me company have you?" And, just by looking at Jonny's face, without him saying a word, she knew that her suspicions were well-founded. "Oh no," she said, "it's Jac isn't it? She's gone all psycho-doctor hasn't she?"


	10. We Need to Talk

**Hi all. This is a bit of a filler chapter, and is quite short but hopefully is OK. Hope you enjoy and please review if you have time.**

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_Monday Afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

Darwin

Jac exited theatre for the second time that afternoon, leaving Oli to finish up with Mr Watkins. Jonny, still, amazingly in his honest opinion, with his head attached to his shoulders, watched her knowing exactly where she would head – straight to Bay 1 to spend time with Jil. It was the pattern of how things had been since she'd returned from the labs, holding Jil's hard (for the lab staff) won results in her hand. He had seen immediately that there was something in them that worried her but also that she was trying desperately not to show this – whether for Jil's, the other staff on the ward or her own benefit he couldn't really tell. She hadn't seemed surprised to see him there, sitting by Jil's bed, nearly an hour early for his shift but it was obvious to him that she was on a knife edge, which made the prospect of the conversation he was going to have to have with her even more daunting.

"I'll leave you to it." He had said, smiling at both of them, which earned him a beam from Jil, and a small, tight smile from Jac which he realised didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thanks Jonny." Jil said, "He's been keeping me company" she explained to Jac, still smiling, "he's really good at it you know."

"Well I suppose he's got to be good for something" came Jac's reply, quick as a flash, but tempered with a smile, aimed in his direction, that was real this time. And Jonny was so relieved that, at least in some ways, she was still being the Jac he knew and loved that he didn't even think to take offence, instead saying

"If you need anything I'll be at the nurse's station," before, after the briefest of pauses when he again wondered if he really was going to do this, adding "And I need to talk to you when you're finished here – it's important."

"OK," Jac said looking at him, a puzzled expression fleetingly playing over her face before she turned her attention back to Jil and the test results in her hand.

"So what do those tests say?" Jonny heard Jil ask as he pulled the curtains around her bed space. He didn't stay around to hear Jac's reply, realising that he now only had a matter of minutes to figure out what he was going to say to Jac.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As it turned out the conversation didn't go even half as badly as he'd expected. Although he was more than happy to admit this had very little to do with him. When Jac finally appeared at the nursing station and looked at him expectantly, he still hadn't thought of a way to broach the topic, but realising that she definitely wouldn't want to talk about it on the ward, he got up and walked to her office. This seemed to arouse her suspicions so as soon as he mentioned her afternoon theatre list, it was as if a switch had flicked in Jac's mind. 'Are you worried that all this, with Jil, will effect me?' she'd asked.

'Well,' he'd prevaricated, 'maybe – I mean it's obvious you've got a lot on your mind and well I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit concerned.'

'Jonny' Jac had said, sounding more hurt than angry, 'do you really think I'd operate if I thought I wasn't up to it.'

'No, of course not!' Jonny had replied definitely, and meaning it. 'I know if you think you're OK to operate then you will be. I suppose I'm just asking if you actually think you are?'

There was a pause, and Jonny could see that Jac was really considering what he had asked her before she replied "Yes I'm sure. I think it might help actually – when I'm in surgery that's the only thing I focus on you see, there's nothing else. Does that make sense?'

"Yes, perfectly' Jonny replied, realising how much that answer explained about Jac and her seemingly relentless striving to always do more, be better. Surgery was her escape route, enabling her to focus only on something she knew she excelled at, and to stop thinking about all those other things in her life that were so much more uncertain.

'If Mo's still worried' Jac added, correctly guessing from where Jonny's concerns had stemmed, 'you can tell her she can scrub in just in case.'

'Will do' Jonny replied, smiling, before pulling her in to a hug and kissing the top of her head.

'What was that for' Jac asked, her voice muffled by Jonny's top.

'Oh, surely you must know," he replied, slowly releasing her from his arms, 'I've been desperate to do that since I saw you on Saturday evening.' And Jac, knowing that this was true but also aware that this wasn't the only, or even the main reason for his actions smiled up at him and brushed his lips with hers before saying simply

'Thank you' and then, walked away from him towards the door, saying 'I suppose I ought to get some lunch if I'm going to be operating all afternoon.' Only to be stopped just before she reached the door by Jonny catching hold of her hand and giving it a small, comforting squeeze, which earned him another smile before she finally headed out of the door towards the ward exit.


	11. The Jac Effect

**_Hi All. Just another really short update which follows directly on from the last chapter. Enjoy and please review..._**

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_Monday Afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

Darwin

So Jonny watched Jac walking towards Jil's bed. Saw Jil, who had been talking to Rosie break off from what appeared to be a really animated discussion and give her a smile, before resuming her conversation. He'd noticed that there had been quite a bit of laughter from Bay 1 throughout his shift so far and was sure the reason for that was Jil's presence. She just seemed to bring the best out of people, and he now saw what Jac meant when she talked about the 'Jil-effect'. Although, he was also finding, to his surprise, that there seemed to be a 'Jac effect' on the ward too. He was amazed at the allowances people were prepared to make for her – both Sylvie and Vanya had seemed more concerned about how the whole Jil thing was affecting Jac, than upset about what she had done that had made them (nearly) cry. In fact, Sylvie had actually defended Jac's actions, and he'd lost count of the people who had mentioned to him that they hoped Miss Naylor was OK, and Arthur's insistence that he 'must make sure you look after her' hadn't exactly been a shock, but he was surprised by the force which seemed to accompany the words. It appeared that, as well as the respect and fear that Jac seemed to effortlessly engender in her colleagues, there was a latent affection for her too. He supposed it helped that Jil was just so lovely, and that it was obvious how much she meant to Jac, but he was sure that the feelings would have been there regardless, though he didn't suppose for one minute Jac would believe it if he told her.

He saw Mo exiting the staff room with a cup of tea and something that looked suspiciously like one of Jac's flapjacks. "Oi," he called over, "where's mine? And where did you get that anyway?" he said as Mo walked towards him, pointing at the flapjack that Mo was in the process of devouring "I thought they'd all been eaten ages ago." He waited as Mo finished the mouthful she'd been eating, before continuing, "well?"

Mo, who could see that Jonny wasn't going to let this go, reluctantly revealed, "You obviously don't know where to look then. There's a secret stash in the biscuit tin at the back of the cupboard – it's where the best biscuits are always kept!"

"Well thanks for telling me," Jonny replied huffily.

"Hey, I thought you knew," Mo said, which wasn't strictly true, but she could hardly be blamed if Jonny didn't think to look in all the biscuit tins in the staff room, could she?

"And what about Holby Fit Club?" Jonny asked, still peeved about all the goodies he must have missed out on over the months he had worked here.

"What about it?" Mo countered, beginning to get a little riled herself.

"Flapjacks part of your recommended daily allowance are they?" he replied sarcastically, continuing in the same vein. "Oh no, don't tell me – calories consumed whilst you're standing up don't count either!"

"Jonny, it's a flapjack." Mo said exasperatedly, "and if it means so much to you – here have it!" she said, holding the remaining piece out to him. Jonny, who was so surprised at Mo's action, took it automatically, before he was brought back to reality by Mo adding, "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you'd better snap out of it quick. Seriously, one person on the verge of a nervous breakdown" looking over at Jac "is really all this ward can cope with at any one time!" And with that parting shot, and one of her 'you know I'm right' looks, she turned round and walked off.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

And the fact was that Jonny did know she was right – both about the ward _only_ being able to cope with Jac in her current state _and_ the fact that he was feeling out of sorts. And he also knew the reason for that – he had seen Jil's results and knew that there was no way she'd be going home anytime soon, and that if things didn't improve in the next couple of days there was a very strong likelihood that she'd need more surgery. And he knew that Jac knew that too, and he was worried what that knowledge would do to her. He had seen her talking to Elliott after she'd finished the first operation on her list, which true to her word she had let Mo scrub in on, and which, when he'd asked Mo how it had gone she'd summed up in one word 'textbook'. He had seen her face as Elliott had, no doubt as gently as he could, confirmed that her worst fears could well be a possibility, and had found himself closing his eyes, as if to shut out the fear he had seen writ large there. It just didn't seem possible that his Jac, this fortress of a woman, was scared but he could see that was the case, and he was worried that he wouldn't be able to do anything to help her, to comfort her when she obviously would need it the most. And then he had seen her, with characteristic resolve put her best brave face on to go and see Jil, managing to smile at her and to hold a normal conversation, which even resulted in some of that laughter that had been such a feature of Bay 1 today. But he had seen the added strain this extra effort was putting on Jac when she had left Jil's bedside for her next operation and, though he had seen for himself, watching her briefly from the viewing gallery during that operation, that it wasn't affecting her work he was seriously worried about the impact it was having on _her_. His musings were interrupted by the always annoying sound of a patient's call-bell but for once he was glad of the distraction – anything to stop him thinking. He glanced over at Bay 1 as he got up to go and see to Mr Percy, wondering distractedly what he'd be complaining about this time. Kate was drawing the curtains round Rosie's bed presumably, he remembered, to check and, if necessary, change her infusion pump, leaving Jac and Jil to talk on their own…..


	12. Out of the Loop

**Hi. Next chapter - just a short one which features some Jac/Jil interactions with a little bit of Jonny thrown in for good measure. Hope you enjoy, and as ever please review..**

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_Monday Afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

Darwin  


"So, do you want me to phone Daniel and explain what's going on?" Jac asked

"No!" Jil answered, very definitely.

"But I'll be able to tell him everything. And, no offence, but I think I might be able to do a slightly better job of it than you could – it's sort of in my job description after all."

"No," Jil said "it's not that I don't want you explaining to him. It's that I don't want him knowing – anything. That I'm here, that I'm ill – anything."

"What?" Jac said incredulously, "you're not being serious, surely. You're not going to tell Daniel that you're in hospital?"

"No," Jil said, again very definitely, "and if _you_ do I WILL discharge myself!" she continued.

And Jac, who had seen Jil in this kind of mood before, knew that this wasn't an idle threat, but was also not prepared to give up on this. "But Jil, he'll want to know" she argued.

"Yes, I'm sure he will – but **I** don't want him to, not tonight anyway." Jil stated, and seeing the look on Jac's face explained further. "He'll only just have got back now and I don't want him driving up here like a maniac, which you know he will, jet-lagged and at rush hour. I'll tell him tomorrow morning – when he'll have had a good night's sleep and the roads won't be so busy."

"And how are you going to explain your absence from home tonight?" Jac asked, still trying to find a flaw in Jil's plan.

"I'll think of something." Jil answered simply. "And I meant what I said, if you tell him anything about all this," she said, indicating her hospital bed and the plethora of monitors situated next to it, "I** will** discharge myself! Is that clear?"

"As crystal" Jac replied. "But for the record – I think this is one of the most stupid ideas I've ever heard, and that's saying something considering I've been working with Jonny and Mo for the past few months."

"Your comment is duly noted" Jil said, primly, "and don't worry I will let Daniel know that you were dead set against it, and tried your hardest to dissuade me."

"Yeah, well I think that will be the least of your worries when he turns up here tomorrow" Jac concluded. "He's going to be furious."

"Probably," Jil replied, "but he….actually no."

"What?"

"I was going to say he'll understand but, of course, he won't. But" she added, "he_ will _forgive me. Which is the most important thing, I suppose, isn't it?"

And Jac marvelled at the casual certainty with which her friend said this, thinking how lucky Jil was to be able to say that so easily, to be able to rely on forgiveness seemingly without even giving it a second thought. Although, she reflected, as she glanced across the ward from her chair by Jil's bed and saw Ranjit speaking to Jonny, maybe she wasn't doing too badly in that department herself now – Jonny had put up with a hell of a lot, and was still here. So maybe, forgiveness was something she could, would be able to get used to having..."

"Jac!" Jac was pulled away from her thoughts by Jil. "Jac are you OK?"

"Mmmhmm" she answered distractedly, "I was just thinking"

"How many times have I warned you about that?" Jil asked smiling.

"Ha, ha," Jac replied "I won't be booking the Apollo just yet - you're so not funny!"

"Erm Jac, sorry." Jonny's Scottish brogue caused them to stop their pretend argument and turn to look at him instead. "Sorry to interrupt but Ranjit's just said they're ready for you now – Mrs Divas has just gone down."

"Oh right, thanks" Jac replied. Briefly wondering why Ranjit hadn't told her that himself, before quickly discounting this as unimportant, and focussing on the slightly more crucial question of the operation she was meant to be performing now. And getting up from her chair said to Jil, "Well seeing as not all of us can sit around doing nothing all day, suppose I'd better get going. No rest for the wicked, eh?"

"You said it," Jil replied.

"Ha, ha, bonk" said Jac, before giving Jil one of her best fake smiles. Then noticing the look on Jonny's face – a cross between puzzled and astonished – she explained, "that was me laughing my head off." To which he just nodded, beginning to think that it wouldn't be possible for anything to surprise him today. "Lead on then" Jac said to him, before turning back to Jil she said, "I'll see you when I finish – shouldn't be too long." Stopping just as she'd started to follow Jonny out of the bay to add, "Do NOT do anything stupid whilst I'm away!"

"Yes mum," Jil replied, giving her a salute and a smile as she said it.

"I mean it," Jac said. "I'll have your guts for garters if you get out of that bed for anything but a comfort break, and I will know if you have."

"I'm sure you will" Jil replied, still smiling "after all deities are omniscient aren't they?"

This earned her a wry smile from Jac, and just as she left the bay the throw-away comment, "You said it!"

To which she replied, quietly to herself "I know I did." Before she picked up one of the magazines Jac had brought her from the staff room to read whilst she waited for the nurse, Kate was it, to finish whatever she was doing with Rosie.

Jac meanwhile, had re-acquainted herself with Mrs Divas' case and was heading towards Darwin's theatre's. But as if to show that Jil really never was far from her thoughts she asked Jonny, just before she went to scrub in, to phone the MRI team to remind them about Jil's scan, and to make sure that they'd tell them the minute the last out-patient was in the scanner.

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**Sorry this one is so short but it did seem like a natural ending point. There should be some longer chapters soon, and hopefully I'll be able to keep updating fairly regularly too :)**


	13. Distractions, diversions and half truths

**Hi. This chapter does skip around a bit but hopefully still makes sense! Enjoy and as ever please review...**

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_Monday Night, Holby_

_Jonny's Car_

Jonny pulled up in front of Jac's apartment block and looked over at her, she was sitting beside him gazing into space and didn't seem aware that they'd even stopped, let alone that they'd reached their destination. "Jac," he said softly, but on receiving no response, repeated slightly louder, "Jac, sweetheart."

"Mmm what?" Jac replied distractedly.

"We're here," Jonny said, indicating the apartment block.

"Oh, already," Jac said, sounding surprised, "that was quick."

Jonny could have said that it wasn't quick at all – that in fact the journey to her house had taken nearly twice as long as it should have because of the roadworks, and the attendant temporary traffic lights, that seemed to have sprung up overnight all along the route from the hospital. He could have, but he didn't because he realised that there'd be no point - knowing as he did that, as had been true for the whole journey she wasn't really here in his car. Well, obviously, he corrected himself, physically she was but in all other aspects, mentally, emotionally, she was still back at the hospital with Jil. He still wasn't exactly sure how they'd managed to get her here even physically – she'd seemed set on staying in the on-call room but then he remembered, with a wry smile, there was Jil. Jil who had somehow forced Jac to promise that she would come home, and had then, when Jac had reluctantly gathered her stuff together and come to say goodbye, forbidden her to drive herself home, and to ensure that she didn't had taken her car keys from her bag. And who had an answer to all of Jac's objections, 'So how am I meant to get home then? I don't want to have to wait hours for a taxi thank you all the same.'

'You won't have to – Jonny can take you.'

'Oh great, so I'm going to have to wait for him to finish his shift – that's over an hour away, so I'll be no better off.'

'No – Jonny's going to finish early – he'll be done at nine.'

'But then the ward will be short-staffed.'

'No – Grace is coming in early isn't she Jonny?' And Jonny who had been watching this interaction with interest, and more than a hint of amusement nodded. "So you can just sit down here for what," Jil had said, glancing at her watch 'about 10 minutes, and then you can be on your way.'

'Oh,' Jac had said, the wind suddenly taken out of her sails, 'ok then.' Before asking, as Jonny walked off to finish things off before he left. 'But why is Grace coming in early – how did she know that Jonny would need to leave?'

And even though he had heard, Jonny pretended that he hadn't – not wanting to tell Jac the real answer to this question and knowing that he wouldn't be able to lie to her either. In truth, Grace's early appearance had been organised by the nurses on the ward between themselves because Jac, after completing her theatre list and having nothing to focus on but Jil once again, had reverted to how she had been that morning when she came up from AAU, and in desperation they'd decided that the only way to deal with it was to get Miss Naylor off the ward as soon as possible. And knowing that Jonny was probably their only possible escape plan they'd organised for someone to cover for him so that he could take Jac home. It seemed their plan might be foiled when she'd announced her intention to stay overnight but then Jil had intervened and, unwittingly, saved the day, or at least their sanity, with her insistence that Jac was to go home.

And Jonny had to admit he could see their point – Jac had been Miss Naylor-ish to the nth degree, since she'd left the operating theatre, her mood not helped by the delays there had been in getting Jil down for her MRI. First the out-patient list had over-run spectacularly and then a patient from A & E had needed an urgent scan, which took priority over Jil's despite Jac's phone calls to both the ED and radiology to express her disagreement with this decision. And despite Jonny and Jil's best efforts to calm Jac down, she was incredibly stressed (and bad tempered with everybody) until finally the porter's had come to take Jil down. Jil, on the other hand, had actually seemed quite pleased about the delay, and Jonny realised why when he heard her speaking to Daniel whilst he was doing Rosie's obs'.

'Hey sweetheart it's me…..I'm still with Jac….Well, you know how useless you are when you get back from one of your trips…..You so are Dan – grouchy doesn't even begin to cover it and..and anyway Jac's got something organised for tonight and I'd really like to stay for it. And that'll give you time to have a good night's sleep and discover your usual good mood for when I see you tomorrow…I know, and I was too but you'll probably be asleep by the time I get home if I leave now, and it's only one more night…..Aw, I'll miss you too but like I said it's not even 24 hours…Alright, ok – I'll see you soon…..Oh, and make sure you go to bed soon – I definitely don't want you grumpy tomorrow…..Yeah, ok – see you tomorrow. Love you…..Bye'

And as the phone call ended and he drew the curtains back round Rosie's bed, he saw the expression on Jac's face, as did Jil – the eyebrows had it yet again. And Jil said defensively, "What? He **is** an absolute nightmare when he's jetlagged. And an MRI **IS** a thing," she added.

"Mmm" Jac replied, who had hung around whilst Jil was on the phone just in case, by any remote chance, she saw sense and decided to tell Daniel the truth. "I'm not sure Daniel will see it quite like that but he's _your_ husband, so he'll be _your_ problem come tomorrow."

"Exactly," Jil agreed with her, "so you don't have to worry about him!" At which comment, Jac thought 'if only it were that easy.' In truth she was extremely worried about everything and everybody concerned with Jil. The test results weren't looking great and, although she didn't want to even contemplate it, the professional part of her brain wouldn't let her discount the possibility of more surgery for Jil. And she so wanted to be able to discount that possibility – it had been bad enough before, but now there wasn't just Jil to consider, there was Robin too – which added several layers of complexity to the problem. And then there was Daniel, and the boys and Assumpta, who had all been added to the long list of people who loved Jil since her last operation. Not to mention her kids, Jac suddenly thought, all those children Jil worked with – what would they do if something happened to her? She had a fair idea of how important she must be to them, knowing how much she had longed to have someone like Jil in her life when she had been in care, and wondering if her life would have turned out differently if she had. Which was why the MRI was so important – it'd give her a much clearer idea of what she had to deal with, how much she would have to face, and this simple fact decided her next actions.

"Right," she said, getting up suddenly from the chair by Jil's bed, "I'm going to chase your MRI up again. Honestly, how long can it take them to do one scan?"

"No Jac, don't" Jil began, "It's o.." but Jac was already on her way over to the nurse's station. "It's OK – I don't mind waiting," Jil concluded, quietly to herself. Before looking at the ceiling she cast a silent prayer heavenwards, '**Please** God, don't let her be _too_ rude'

ooooooooooooooooooo

And then Jil had had the MRI and things went from bad to worse – Jac wasn't an expert, and would have to wait for a radiologist to review and report the scan but was fairly sure that surgery was by far the most likely outcome going on what she had seen. She'd tried, throughout the day, not to let her increasing worry levels show through to Jil, but wasn't sure she was doing a particularly good job of it, which in turn made her worry more, because stress was absolutely no good for Jil at the moment. So when Jil asked her what the 'magic machine' had shown up, she'd been deliberately vague and then distracted her by showing her the pictures of Robin the MRI had also taken. And though they hadn't really been the best 'photos' of a baby Jac had seen, Jil had been thrilled, excitedly showing them to Rosie and Beth when she got back to the ward and calling Jonny over to look at them when she saw him. 'That's twice I've seen Robin today' she'd said beaming, referring to the ultrasound she'd had as soon as she arrived on Darwin, 'and I heard the heartbeat too. Your daddy's going to be so jealous when I tell him' she added, stroking her bump affectionately.

And Jac had had to leave – not able to stand seeing her best friend so happy, when she knew there was a real chance that this happiness would be so very short-lived – she knew the risks, better than most, of operating on someone when they were pregnant, and also the risks inherent to any baby born at just 24 weeks. 'Comfort break' she'd said, in answer to Jil's unspoken question, as she stood up from her place by her bed, managing, somehow, to smile at her before walking slowly out of the bay. But Jonny knew something was wrong, had known from the minute they'd returned from radiology and he'd seen the strain in Jac's eyes, well hidden but still, to him, noticeable. He'd wanted to go down with them but Mrs Thele had 'gone off' just before the porters arrived to take Jil down, and by the time they'd got her back Jil was already in the scanner, and because Kate had gone down with them, Jonny wasn't able to leave the ward as well. So he followed Jac a few moments after she left, 'No rest for the wicked' the get-out clause he'd used with Jil, who had looked up at him and smiled before continuing excitedly to point out parts of the scan to Rosie and Beth. And he saw her, as he'd suspected heading, not towards the staff toilet, but to her office. And when he had made his way over to the door in her wake, he found her standing behind her desk, turned away from him, looking out of the window onto the darkness that had fallen. She sensed him there but didn't turn round, not trusting that she would be able to hold herself together if she did. And for the same reason, as he walked towards her she instinctively moved further away and said, 'Don't, please' visibly flinching as she did so. She knew he would be hurt, knew that he only wanted to support her, to be a good boyfriend, but also knew that if he came too close she wouldn't be able to contain her emotions, and that she couldn't afford to let them go – not now, not yet. So Jonny had stopped, hurt, not fully understanding but sensing somehow that she hadn't said that, done that because she didn't want him there but because, for some reason, she didn't feel he could be.

Which brought him back to here and now – once again watching Jac struggling and not feeling that he could do anything to help her, or more properly that he shouldn't because somehow it might make things worse for her if he did. "Well," he replied, "they don't call me Jackie Stewart for nothing you know," trying desperately to make her smile.

"What?" Jac said distractedly, the look she gave him indicating that although she might have answered him before, she definitely wasn't truly involved in the conversation he thought they'd been having.

"Nothing," he answered, "it was nothing," managing a small smile to try and reassure her, even though in truth it was the last thing he felt like doing.

"OK" Jac said, uncertainly, before, after a visible struggle to rouse herself from the torpor she seemed to be in, continued, "Right" And reaching down pressed the button which released her seatbelt, and then opened the car door. Then after picking up her bag from by her feet and taking a deep breath she got of his car, again with visible effort, and then stood outside hand on the door with her back to the inside of the car. And Jonny watched her, not sure what he should do. He wanted to follow her out but wasn't sure if that was what she'd want, or perhaps, more importantly, what she needed. So he waited, watching her stand, alone by his car, breathing in the night air. He couldn't see her face but he could tell she was trying desperately to calm herself down, to regain her composure, perhaps to reassure herself that everything was going to be OK – or at least to try to. And then she turned round, and leaning down into the car said, "Are you coming in, or what?" And though it wasn't the most gracious of invitations he'd ever received, he realised that it felt like it had come direct from Buckingham Palace, hand -delivered on a gold platter. And it gave him an answer of sorts too, whatever was going on in Jac's life, in her head she obviously wanted him…needed him there too. But sensing this wasn't the time to make a big deal about it he simply said,

"Yeah OK" and got out of the car, closing his door and opening the back one to take out the overnight bag he always kept in the foot well behind his seat in case he got a transplant call in the middle of the night. Looking up he saw Jac was still standing by the car, her door still open, so after closing the back door he walked round to where she was. "Come on then you," he said, "let's get inside," offering her his arm as he did so. And she took it, hooking her arm through his, without so much as a murmur. And, after briefly pausing to turn and close her door and lock the car, he led her towards her apartment block, towards her home, wondering what in the world he was going to do, how he should be when they got there…


	14. Fears Revealed

**Hi. A bit of a shorter chapter this time and it's got a bit of a fake ending but the next part will be longer and I wanted to get something posted today because internet access is going to be an issue over the b/h weekend. As ever, please review (it'd be lovely to get to 30 with the next couple of chapters) and enjoy...**

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_Monday Night, Holby_

_Jac's Apartment _

Jonny waited as Jac struggled to open the door to her flat, he had never been in it before and, under normal circumstances would have been excited about seeing it now and, perhaps, learning a little more about her. But these, he reminded himself, were very far from normal circumstances, evidenced by the fact that he _was_ watching Jac, who's hand-eye coordination he'd never had reason to doubt before, struggle to open her front door. He considered, as he had before they'd reached the communal door downstairs, asking for her keys but, once again didn't, unsure what her reaction to such a request would be. They'd always gone to his flat before now because it was closer to the hospital and, crucially, the route to his was much less trafficky than the one to Jac's, and the speed at which they could get to where they wanted to be (or more accurately to _what_ they wanted to do) had always been a major consideration in their dealings until recently. And after completing the journey a few times to pick Jac up over the past couple of weeks (when she'd always been waiting for him in the foyer) he was somewhat relieved this had been the case – reflecting that if he'd had to wait to get to hers as long as it had taken him on those, and indeed this, occasion, he might well have exploded. He was also beginning to gain a real appreciation of why she loved her motorbike so much, offering her, as it did, the opportunity to escape the traffic jams that seemed to beset the route from her house to the hospital.

Jac finally managed to undo the final lock on her door and stepped inside, with Jonny following close behind. She flicked the light switch, put her bag down by the door and then keys in hand stopped in the middle of the hallway, seemingly not quite sure what to do next. Jonny decided to take control of the situation for her, and said, "I'll make something for us to eat then shall I? You must be hungry." He knew she'd only had a cup-a-soup, yoghurt and one of her flapjacks (that he'd found in the 'magic biscuit tin') since lunch and that her lunch (half a sorry looking sandwich, a cereal bar and an apple) hadn't exactly been substantial.

"No, not really." Jac replied, truthfully knowing that her appetite was one of the first things to go when she was worried about anything.

"Well," Jonny said, ever practical, "you still need to eat. So, why don't you go and get yourself ready for bed, whilst I rustle us up something."

"Right , yes," Jac replied, still sounding to Jonny like she wasn't really in the conversation they were having, before heading off down the corridor to what Jonny presumed was her bedroom. Which left him to look for the kitchen and then to, hopefully, find in Jac's cupboards, something comforting and nutritious that he could cook quickly.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Little more than a quarter of an hour later he had managed it – conjuring up a pasta dish complete with a cheesy bacony tomato sauce, that he thought would just about fit the bill. He'd thought that Jac would have finished whatever she was doing by now, and after serving up and calling her name with no success, followed the route she had taken to her bedroom only to discover that she wasn't there. Instead, he found her sitting, pyjamas on, in her darkened lounge, the only light visible coming from the hallway and the streetlights outside, shining in through the windows across which the curtains had not been drawn. The settee she was sitting on faced the doorway he was standing at but she was obviously in a world of her own, gazing at the things she was holding, one in each hand. But she must have sensed his presence because she looked up at him, and as she did a strangled sob escaped her. Within moments he was by her side, and after gently taking the items she was holding from her and placing them on the coffee table in front of them, he held her in his arms, kissing the top of her head as he did so. He rocked her gently, holding her tight and feeling her slowly relax into his arms. He looked at what was on the coffee table and, though it was dark, could see enough to make out a photo of a beaming Jil, obviously taken on her wedding day, and what looked like an ultrasound scan picture, which he presumed was of Robin. "Hey, hey" he found himself saying to her, "it's OK, everything's ok"

"But" Jac replied, as he felt her trying to sit up, and so relaxed his hold to let her, "but it might not have been. If she'd done that" she said looking up at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears "on the train – collapsed like that, then it wouldn't have been, would it?"

"But she didn't" he reminded her, "and she's perfectly safe now – in the best possible place."

"But she's probably going to need more surgery Jonny," Jac began, and Jonny could see her distress increasing, "and you know how dangerous that could be. I mean, probably not really for her, but for Robin, and if anything happens to this baby, this time, this late on I really think it'd destroy her – and there's nothing I can do Jonny. Nothing!"

"That's not true" Jonny objected. "You've already done loads – you kept her safe today, brought her to the hospital even though she didn't want to come, didn't think there was anything wrong. You've had everybody bending over backwards to get everything done for her – using your 'Miss Naylor charm' to make sure she gets the best care in the fastest time. And you were there for her too – being the best kind of best friend there is! You might not know what that means but, believe me, Jil will"

"Yeah, but…"

"But nothing," Jonny said forcefully, tightening his hold around her again, "but nothing!" And then he silenced the objections he could tell she was going to make with a gentle but firm kiss, before once more kissing the top of her head whilst he rocked her in his arms. And he moved back on the sofa, gently taking him with her so that they were both sitting more comfortably. And he continued to hold her, gently stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head from time to time, and he felt her slowly relax into his arms. They stayed sitting like that for some time, neither of them would have been able to say how long, in a comfortable and comforting silence, until Jonny felt Jac fidgeting slightly and after he'd loosened his hold on her she sat up slightly and gave him the smallest of smiles. "Right," he said, "now that's all cleared up – you still need to eat. Come on," he said standing up, and offering her his hand, "to the kitchen." And she gave him another slightly bigger smile as she took his hand and he helped her up, before leading her towards the kitchen.


	15. Dream Catcher

**Hi Folks. Next chapter slightly longer and with a bit more going on. Thanks for the lovely reviews, please keep them coming and as ever enjoy...**

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_Monday Night, Holby _

_Jac's Apartment _

The meal he'd so lovingly prepared had long since gone cold but, after a short blast in the microwave it was OK, not delicious but OK , although he got the sense that Jac wasn't actually tasting it anyway, just eating it because he'd put it in front of her and told her that she should. After her deeply felt, but highly uncharacteristic, show of emotion she seemed to have switched back to auto-pilot mode – answering his question monosyllabically, if she answered him at all. She was once again in her own world, somewhere he couldn't, for the time being, reach her. He watched her eating the last of her meal and, when she had, sit in silence for a little while longer, gazing at a point somewhere to the left of his head. Then, suddenly, and for no particular reason he could see, she gave herself a slight shake and came back to the real world, looking at and actually seeing him for the first time since he'd sat down opposite her. "Sorry," she said, suddenly aware that she'd not really been 'there' for some time, "I've not been great company tonight."

"Hey, there's no need to apologise," Jonny replied, "no need at all."

"Well that may be true but I am anyway – this wasn't quite what I had in mind when I said I'd see you tonight on Friday."

"No, I don't suppose it was," Jonny said softly, "but" he continued, reaching across the table to hold her hand, interlocking his fingers with hers, "I'm with you and that's what matters." And he was amazed that instead of making a sarcastic comment about sick bowls or raising her eyebrows and giving him one of her looks, Jac just smiled – a sweet, small smile, and ever so gently squeezed his hand. And without her saying it Jonny knew that she was grateful for this, that she was pleased he was 'with her' and that made him happier than he would have thought possible. Jac yawned, covering her mouth with the hand Jonny wasn't holding, and glancing up at the clock, he realised that it was past 11. "Right," he said, gently releasing his hand from hers, "you need to go to bed. I'll just sort this out" he added, getting up and picking up the plates from the table "and then I'll be in. OK?"

"You can just leave those till the morning" Jac said, as he put the plates down by the sink and turned the hot tap on.

"Nah, it'll only take a minute" Jonny replied, "and anyway," he continued, looking back at her over his shoulder, "I never get a good night's sleep if there's something left undone, so it's much better if I just do it now. I'd hate to keep you awake tossing and turning because I was bothered about dirty dishes."

"Ok" Jac said uncertainly, watching him squeeze the Fairy liquid into the water, seeing the bowl fill with bubbles, and Jonny, after testing the water washing the plates and cutlery they had used.

He turned round to collect the glasses from the table and seeing her still sitting there said, "Hey – you're meant to be going to bed." Adding with a smile, "If you're still interested, I promise you can watch me wash up tomorrow morning." Before, bending down, he gently kissed her forehead and standing up said, "Now go on – bed!"

And Jac smiled back at him and said, "Yes sir", pushing her chair back and standing up "whatever you say."

"Can I have that in writing?" Jonny asked, quick as a flash, as he turned back toward the sink.

"No!" Jac replied definitely, walking towards the kitchen door - which made Jonny smile and think 'Of course not' - "not on your nelly," she continued, pausing in the doorway to look back at Jonny for a few moments. He was oblivious to her continued presence, and had begun to quietly hum whilst he washed up. And Jac suddenly realised how glad she was that he was there, and silently walked back across the kitchen to where he was standing, and wordlessly put her arms round his waist and rested her head on his back for a moment. And she felt him instinctively tense and then, almost immediately, relax as he realised that it was her. She stood there for a few moments hugging him, before, letting go, she gave his back a kiss and standing straight turned away from him and walked back across the kitchen, this time walking past the doorway and down the corridor towards the bathroom. Jonny stood motionless for a few seconds after Jac's departure, aware that something had just happened, just changed in their relationship, but not quite sure what that 'something' was, before, after shaking his head as if to clear it, he continued with the washing up.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jonny entered Jac's bedroom and she tracked his movements smiling at him from her position in the bed. The light was provided by the bedside lamps which were both on and she looked sleepy, a fact that was confirmed by her yawning as he climbed into the bed by her. As he got himself comfy she turned her lamp off and wordlessly moved closer to him, and lifted her head inviting him to put his arm round her. An invitation he was happy to accept. She then turned more towards him and rested her head on his chest, so he held her closer and began to stroke her hair, and she listened to the comforting rhythm of his heart beat and was asleep in a matter of minutes. And though he could tell from the pattern of her breathing that she was sleeping he continued holding her, stroking her hair and gently kissing the top of her head every so often, until the arm she was leaning on started to get pins and needles. Then, he very carefully removed his arm from under her head and gently moved her slightly to the side, placing her head with infinite care, so as not to wake her, on to her pillow. Then after clenching and unclenching his fist till the pins and needles had eased off, he got himself comfortable turned his lamp off and, after rolling towards her and taking her hand in his under the covers, fell asleep to the sound of her breathing.

He was woken, what felt like minutes later, by his hand being squeezed painfully hard. He struggled to extricate it from Jac's grip and after finally managing this turned and put the lamp on, grateful that they were the touch-activated ones. He turned back towards Jac and could see immediately that she was having a nightmare, her hands were clenched tightly shut and she was, he could now see as the light from the lamps got brighter, murmuring in her sleep. Jonny wouldn't have said, until very recently, that Jac looked peaceful when she slept, but he would definitely have described her as being self-contained. However, this was not a description that could apply now and it worried him. He glanced over at the radio-alarm clock on the chest of drawers – 1.14 – and then turned his attention back to her, she was still obviously distressed and the nightmare appeared to be getting worse. He wasn't sure what to do – wondering if waking her was a good idea, until as he watched her getting more and more upset, he could stand it no more. "Jac," he said softly, "Jac, sweetheart you need to wake up now." He gently stroked her face, feeling the tension she was holding in it, with one hand whilst, with the other he traced circles with his thumb onto the tightly clenched fist of one of hers. He continued to do this for some time, repeating her name and the instruction for her to wake up, until suddenly her eyes shot open and he saw an expression of sheer terror in them.

She looked straight at him for a few seconds, the fear still evident in her eyes, and then as if she had suddenly remembered who he was she grabbed his hand and suddenly burst out with "I nicked an artery and there was so much blood Jonny, and I couldn't stop it. She just kept bleeding Jonny, Jil she was bleeding to death and I couldn't save her - there was nothing I could do." And then she started sobbing, heart-wrenching sobs which seemed to come from the very centre of her being and which made Jonny feel sick as he heard them. And he gathered her to himself, holding her close. He could feel her heart, through his T-shirt, hammering away in her chest and felt her tears soaking through this same T-shirt. And she kept sobbing, talking incoherently about 'so much blood', and 'Jil dying' and 'doing nothing' whilst she did so.

And Jonny felt helpless for a time until he could bear to hear her no more and decided that doing something, anything, no matter how useless it seemed, would be better than just watching her like this. So he began to stroke her back with his free hand, and to whisper into her head, which was still buried in his chest "It's ok, you're alright. I've got you….. It's ok, you're alright. I've got you….. It's ok, you're alright. I've got you….." Over and over again until it became like a mantra he was almost singing to her. He felt, rather than saw, at first her becoming more calm – the sobs slowly quietened until they were nothing more than a murmur, although she was still crying, and her heart beat and breathing rate slowed too. And then, she looked up at him – tears still coursing down her face, and he used his free hand (she still hadn't let go of his other one), to try and wipe them away, and when that didn't work gently kissed first her forehead, then her cheeks and then her eyelids, trying to kiss the tears away.

And then she kissed him – full on his lips, and he could feel the desperation in that kiss, and suddenly her free hand was scrabbling at his T-shirt and her kiss became deeper, more determined, more desperate. And Jonny, who didn't want to take advantage of the situation, of Jac's vulnerability, tried not to respond. And Jac who sensed his hesitation, guessed the reason for it and was grateful, but who needed him so very badly, broke off from the kiss looked at him, tears still falling and said the only word that was in her head at the time, "Please!" And that was enough and Jonny stopped resisting her – kissing her with a passion he wouldn't have thought was possible. Determined to help her fight her demons, to quieten her nightmares.

And when it was over, and Jac was once again listening to his heartbeat, her head on his chest, – skin to skin this time because, as if she wanted to be as close to him as possible, she'd taken his T-shirt off in the midst of their love-making, the only time she'd let go of his hand throughout it all - he again began to stroke her hair and to kiss the top of her head. And as he lay there, listening to her breathing slowly return to normal, and he felt the grip on his hand that she was still holding relax slightly, he reflected that this was the first time that she had ever asked him for anything of real significance, and he realised that it felt good that he had been able to help her. They had fought and beaten the demons together, and though Jonny wasn't sure why this was the case, he was convinced that Jac would have no more nightmares tonight. The magic they had made would keep her safe, and he was sure she felt this too. He sensed that she was asleep, and looking down at her saw that he was right. Not wanting to risk awakening her by breaking her hold on his hand, and unable to turn the bedside lamp off without doing this, he simply snuggled down further into the bed and, after giving her one last kiss, closed his eyes to block out the light. He lay there, for a few minutes listening to her breathing, until the events of the day and the night caught up with him, exhaustion took over and he too fell asleep.


	16. Sleeping Beauty

**Hi. Another short little chapter where not very much happens - sorry! There will be longer, slightly more action-packed updates to follow. Hope you enjoy it anyway and as ever please review.**

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_Tuesday Morning, Holby_

_Jac's Bedroom_

Jonny came into Jac's bedroom quietly, carrying a cup of tea for her. She was, he was pleased to see, still asleep, although he knew that he would have to wake her very soon. He put the tea down on her bedside table and then carefully sat down on the bed. He looked at her, and again got a real sense of satisfaction that he had arranged things so she could have more of what, it was so obvious to him, she needed – sleep. Remembering how he had woken as usual, at 'Jac-watch' time, just after six and found her exactly where she had been when they had both fallen asleep – her head resting on his bare chest, her hand securely holding his. How he had, so gently, released his hand from hers and then, even more carefully, an inch at a time, moved his body from under hers until he was finally able to, with the utmost care, place her head back on his pillow. She had stirred in her sleep at this, perhaps unconsciously objecting to the removal of his comforting presence, but had, to his relief, not woken. And then he had slowly got up before padding round barefoot to the chest of drawers beside the door to turn the alarms on her radio off, really not wanting all his hard work in keeping her asleep to be undone by Chris Evans, or even worse, the bleeping noise she had once told him her second alarm was set to 'because you have to get up when that goes off'.

He had then had a quick comfort break, remembering, he was proud to note to put the seat down when he had finished, popped to the kitchen to put the kettle on, before heading to the hall to use the phone he had noticed there last night. He had called the ward from the lounge not wanting to take the risk that the conversation might wake Jac, but knowing that the information he would find out would be what she would want to know as soon as she did. Jil had, he was told, had a good night – settled with no causes for concern raised. And Jonny couldn't have explained how much of a relief that was for him to hear, although it would have been obvious to an outsider that he had been dreading bad news, which he would then have had to pass on to Jac. This phone call was also where the cleverest part of Jonny's 'keep Jac sleeping' plan came to fruition – he managed to persuade Gwen to stay on for an hour or so at the end of her shift, so that he could come in late with Jac. He realised that, by the time Jil went home, he would owe so many different people, so many favours he would probably still be paying them back at Christmas, but was also surprised quite how easy it had been. It seemed he wasn't the only one who had a vested interest in keeping Jac away from the ward for as long as the principle of patient-care would allow, although he was sure that everybody else's reasons were quite different from his.

He had then made himself a cup of coffee and gone for a quick shower, deliberately keeping the flow rate and pressure low to reduce the noise it made, and checking, after he'd dressed to make sure that it hadn't woken Jac. Then armed with his coffee he had sat for a few minutes in the lounge, watching BBC Breakfast with the sound muted and the subtitles on, before he suddenly got up and turned the TV off, thinking that he had enough going on to worry about in his own life, without 'hearing' about the world's troubles too. He sat down on the sofa again to look properly at the pictures Jac had been gazing at last night. Picking up the ultrasound first he recognised it as a 20 week scan picture, and remembered Jil telling him how Jac had been there for that, hiding her eyes when the sonographer checked the legs so that she wouldn't accidentally see, with her medical eye, what sex it was. He looked around the room and spotted another identical frame, with what looked like, another scan picture in – and he assumed (correctly as he later confirmed) that this was the same baby but at 12 weeks. He gently placed the picture back on the table before picking up the wedding photo of Jil – it was, he guessed, one that had been taken by Jac, because the moment that was captured there looked so natural he didn't think it could possibly have been posed by a professional. It was a close up shot, taken from the side, of Jil leaning slightly back and beaming, looking like she was just about to burst into laughter, looking, actually, like she was about to burst from happiness. He put this photo down by the ultrasound picture and looked at them for a few more seconds, beginning to realise, in a way that up until then he hadn't really appreciated, exactly what was at stake, and just how much Jac stood to lose if things didn't turn out the way they all hoped they would. And then, as if exercise could somehow make everything OK he had drunk the rest of his coffee pacing around Jac's lounge looking at the books in her bookcase, the pictures on her wall and the bits and bobs scattered round the room, before after looking at the clock he realised that, however reluctantly, he would have to wake her now. He had gone to the kitchen once again, and made her a cup of tea just the way she liked it – the teabag dunked but not squeezed, a little milk and no sugar. And then he had taken it to her bedroom, which brought him back full-circle to here – the cup of tea on her bedside table and him watching her sleep, marvelling at just how peaceful she looked, before he woke her.


	17. Instructions for Jenny

**Next chapter - this one follows directly on from the last one and is slightly longer. Enjoy and please review...  
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_Tuesday Morning, Holby_

_Jac's Apartment_

"Jac" he said softly, leaning over and stroking the side of her face, "Jac, sweetheart, I'm sorry but you need to wake up." And he _was_ incredibly sorry that he had to do this, would have much preferred to let her slumber carry on until she woke naturally. But knew also that she would not be happy if they were so late that her patient's care suffered, as he knew it would if she wasn't there to start her list at 9.30, and knowing also that she would want some time with Jil before this, he really couldn't leave it any later. "Jac, sweetheart" he repeated, pulling the covers back slightly from her and taking the hand this action revealed in his, still stroking her face with his free hand. "It's time to get up – we need to go to work soon, Jac…Jac." And she began to stir, swatting his hand away from her face before squeezing his hand in response to his gentle pressure. Her eyes opened briefly, before closing again. And then she rolled over onto her back, causing him to sit up, as she yawned covering her mouth with the hand he was holding, whilst she moved her free arm above her head and had a half-hearted stretch, yawning once again. She blinked once more, and then opened her eyes fully and looked at him. "Morning gorgeous" he said, as had been his custom for some time now, smiling at her as he said it. "There's a cup of tea for you there," he continued, letting go of her hand "made just how you like it."

And she smiled back at him, saying "Great" slowly pushing herself up to a sitting position and reaching over for the cup. But before she picked it up she suddenly turned back to look at him, and seeing the concern that, all of a sudden, had clouded her eyes and the question that accompanied this feeling he quickly said.

"Jil's fine – I phoned the ward earlier and they said she'd had a good night – everything stable, no concerns at all." And the relief she felt at his words was evident, as she took a deep breath before once again turning to pick up the cup. She wriggled so that she was sitting more comfortably and took a careful sip, to test the temperature, before on finding that it was drinkable taking a longer sip. She looked at him over the cup and he could tell she was smiling, before her eyes slid from his face to wander round the room, he saw them stop and then widen as they came to the radio alarm clock, and then saw something approaching panic flit across them as she exclaimed, trying to get out of bed

"Jonny, it's nearly twenty past seven, we're going to be late." Her efforts to get out of bed were being hindered by Jonny whose weight was holding the covers down and who, for some reason she couldn't understand, wasn't standing up and didn't seem at all fazed by the knowledge that, even if they left now, with her still in her pyjamas they probably wouldn't get to the hospital on time. Unless, of course, she thought, she could somehow achieve what had always proved impossible before and persuade him to go on her bike. He still wasn't moving off the bed but she saw that his mouth was, but her head was too full of the arguments she could use to persuade him that the bike was the best option, the only option they had to even stand a chance of being on time, to hear what he was saying.  
Jonny could see she wasn't listening and in desperation took her gently by the shoulders and, making her look at him, said, enunciating each word very clearly. "Jac, it's OK – we don't have to be in until nine. I've cleared it with the ward and they're not expecting us till then. We've got plenty of time!"

And Jac said accusingly, "Well why didn't you tell me that _before_ I noticed the time. Honestly, I've got enough stress in my life without you adding to it"

"Just drink your tea woman" Jonny replied, shrugging off her annoyance, and then blatantly ignoring the look she gave him after he'd said that. "Like I said we've got plenty of time, so you can savour every drop. You wouldn't believe the work I put in to making that."

"No, I wouldn't!" Jac replied sarcastically.

"Right" Jonny said standing up, once again seemingly impervious to her comment, "you drink that, I'll go and sort out breakfast" and so saying, headed across the bedroom to the door.

"Jonny," Jac said quietly, stopping him as he'd just reached the hallway. He turned back and stood at the doorway, "thanks" she continued "for last night – I don't know what I'd have…well you know"

"Hey," Jonny said, "there's no need for gratitude – that's what I'm here for. Right?" And Jac nodded, smiling, experiencing again that feeling that she need never be unsafe again as long as he _was_ here. "Right – breakfast!" Jonny exclaimed, before once again heading off down the hall. Jac snuggled down in the bed and glancing at the clock thought '4 more minutes' before taking another sip of tea, and beginning to wonder how on earth Jonny had swung yet another hour off.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jonny meanwhile was searching through Jac's cupboards. He had located the one which held all the cereals early on but wasn't exactly bowled over by the choice – organic muesli, organic porridge oats, organic bran flakes – all far too healthy for his liking. He liked his breakfast cereals sweet and preferably with the power to turn the milk chocolatey – he'd have to bring a packet over he decided. Maybe toast was a better option, but would Jac have any jam? He was trying to find out the answer to this question when he made a discovery, 'even better' he thought, as he saw what was in the biscuit tin he'd just opened

"You can't have that for breakfast" Jac objected from the doorway.

"Why not?" Jonny said, holding one of her flapjacks in his hand, "it's got oats in hasn't it? And they're good to eat at breakfast - they're in porridge!" he concluded, as if that clinched it.

"Not you as well," Jac replied. "Sacha's already tried that one and, if it didn't work for him, what makes you think it will for you? If you want oats I've got porridge"

"Yeah, but porridge isn't half as nice as these," Jonny said, hoping flattery would get him somewhere.

"No!" Jac exclaimed, "because porridge doesn't have half a tin of golden syrup to hold it together."

"Well," Jonny said, "I've got to eat it now – I've touched it."

"Well that's true," Jac admitted. "I don't want it put back after you've had your grubby hands all over it. OK, you can have it **but**" she continued, quickly, that dreaded word wiping the triumphant grin that had started to appear on Jonny's face away again, "**only** after you've had some proper breakfast."

"But I don't like any of your cereals!" Jonny argued, "which is why I was looking for jam, and then found these," he continued, holding up the biscuit tin slightly.

"Oh, you're such a child!" Jac said dismissively, "I expect you prefer your cereal sugar-coated and with a toy in the box. You must like Weetabix," she continued, "surely everyone likes Weetabix."

"It's OK I suppose," Jonny said grudgingly.

"Well then – Weetabix it is." Jac concluded, walking over to the cereal cupboard Jonny had abandoned, "and _then_ you can have the flapjack."

"But there isn't any Weetab…" Jonny started to say, just as Jac took out a Tupperware box from the cupboard, which as she was more than happy to show him contained 2 packets of organic Weetabix.

"You just needed to use your eyes, Jonny, that's all" she said, getting two cereal bowls out of another cupboard

"What's with all the organic stuff anyway?" Jonny asked, putting the biscuit tin back but holding on to the flapjack "I don't think Waitrose has as much organic stuff as you do!"

"I don't like putting unnecessary chemicals in my body" Jac explained, walking over to the kettle and turning it on again, "and before you say it, caffeine is NOT an unnecessary chemical, well not for me anyway." She then handed him one of the bowls and after opening the Tupperware box and placing it on the table, said "after you"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What's with all the flowers?" Jonny asked, breaking the companionable silence that had fallen as they'd both been eating their Weetabix, touching the leaves of a flower he didn't recognise that was in a vase on the table, and then remembering all the others he had seen scattered round the flat.

"Ah," Jac said smiling, as she pushed her bowl away from her, "well, we forgot the golden syrup the first time we went shopping on Sunday….for the flapjacks," she explained noticing the confused look on Jonny's face.

"Riiight," Jonny said uncertainly, still not quite seeing the connection.

"So we had to go back to Tesco's to get some and Jil went a bit mad with the flowers in the reduced section. Actually," she said, getting up and picking up both their bowls and carrying them to the sink, "she went very mad. So much so that we ran out of things to put them in so had to resort to some unusual vessels," she continued, pointing to what looked suspiciously like a measuring jug that held what Jonny was pretty sure were irises paired with yellow roses.

"I never had you down as a flower type of girl."

"Really?" Jac said, turning back from the sink to look at him, her eyes narrowed, "what type of girl did you have me down for then."

"Err," Jonny hesitated, realising what treachorous ground he'd managed to step on, "erm, I don't know – the kind who forgives her boyfriend for making stupid comments, maybe."

"Hmmm, well _I'm_ not sure I'm that type of girl. But I do like flowers and Jil loves them – reckons that like a cup of tea they can always make things just a little bit better – plus, she can't resist a bargain. And they really were a bargain. We got all of them for less than £5, and there's a lot of flowers in this flat at the moment," she concluded, smiling.

"What, all of them?" Jonny asked, incredulously, remembering the huge bouquet of lilies with red roses in the lounge, and those other flowers he could never remember the name of – peonies, pansies – he'd noticed in the hall when he'd picked up the phone this morning.

"Yep," Jac confirmed, "she's a real bargain hunter is Jil," she continued, before falling silent and gazing, lost in thought at a point on the floor. After a few moments, she gave her head the tiniest of shakes, and said. "Well, all this floral talk isn't getting us any closer to work is it? I'll go and grab a shower and then I'll be ready in a few minutes. OK?"

"Fine by me," Jonny said, as Jac walked behind him towards the door.

She paused as she reached the door, "if you want to score some brownie points you could do the washing up if you want," she said.

"I was going to anyway," Jonny replied, smiling, "but if it earns me some brownie points as well, so much the better."

"And don't forget to eat your flapjack," Jac said as she left the kitchen, calling from the hall, "and I don't want crumbs all over the place either."

"Right," Jonny said quietly, to himself, "washing up, flapjack, no crumbs – think I can just about manage that."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

True to her word, and despite her having another small Jil-related wobble, after she'd finished in the shower Jac did only take a few minutes to get ready, and from what he could see, from his front row seat in her bedroom, the majority of that was spent doing her hair. "You ever considered shaving your head?" he asked, after she'd turned off her hair-dryer, and then got her straighteners out.

"What?"

"Well, think about it – you'd be able to have at least an extra ten minutes in bed if you did."

"And why would I want that?"

"Well, we could do a lot in bed in ten minutes," he commented, which earned him one of Jac's looks - the one which told him he was skating on very thin ice. "Or," he continued, "you could get ten minutes more sleep"

"Are you saying I normally look tired?" Jac asked

"No, of course not." Jonny said, cursing himself for, once again, stepping on to such dangerous ground. "Look, just forget I said anything, it was a stupid idea OK"

"You got that right" Jac replied, "I suppose there's got to be a first time for everything," she continued, smiling triumphantly over at him.

And Jonny, who knew when he was beaten, had to agree, and smiling back at her said, "Mmm I suppose there is!" And then watched in silence (figuring this was probably safest) Jac finish getting ready.

"Right," she said, slipping her shoes on, "you ready?"

"Yep," Jonny replied, getting off the bed, checking his pockets to make sure his keys were there. "Ready when you are."

"Ok, then," Jac said, picking up her keys from the slightly misshapen, brightly coloured bowl on the chest of drawers that was the non-identical twin to the one on her desk and, after a final look around the room, continued "let's go," and headed out of the room. She stopped briefly in the hall, picking up her bag and handing Jonny his jacket after taking hers down from the hook, and then opened the front door. However, she stopped suddenly in the doorway, and quickly turned back in to the flat. "I need to leave a note for Jenny," she said, by way of explanation to Jonny, who reading it over her shoulder was touched, but not surprised by its contents. "Right," Jac said, after putting the note on the kitchen table, "come on then, flat exit, take 2." And this time they did make it out of the door and as Jonny waited for her to lock the door he thought of the 'wobble' that had led her to write that note...

He had been waiting to ask her something, so when he realised that the shower had stopped had gone to the bathroom door, however, before he'd had time to knock the door he heard Jac sob, a small sob, but definitely a sob. He immediately tried the door and finding, to his surprise, that it was open let himself in to find Jac sitting on the side of the bath, a towel wrapped round her slender frame, quietly crying. "Hey, hey, hey," he said, crossing the distance that separated them with his arms open which Jac, standing up, almost collapsed into, "what's the matter?" It took a couple of minutes of him holding her, stroking her back and murmuring endearments similar to those he'd used the previous night, whilst she cried softly into his chest, until she was able to explain. Finally managing to point to a message Jil had written for her on the bathroom mirror, which had become visible as the bathroom had steamed up. It had faded slightly by the time Jonny saw it, but was still readable, 'DAZZLE THEM! xx' accompanied by a smiley face and what he assumed was Jil's handprint. He found out later, once Jac had recovered and was able to talk to him about it as she got ready, that it was a method of communicating they'd been using since they were 12, since they had discovered it worked after Jac had drawn anatomically correct diagrams of the male and female reproductive systems on the glass in Jil's kitchen door, after they had done the washing up one Saturday evening. They hadn't realised then, however, that the diagrams wouldn't just disappear when the steam did, and that they would reappear whenever the glass steamed up again until they physically wiped them away. Unfortunately, Jac recounted now smiling, they only made this discovery the next day when Jil's mum was cooking the Sunday dinner, which, even more unfortunately, she'd invited the parish priest to eat with them. To say Mrs Santini was embarrassed when he came in to ask if he could help at all and noticed the pictures on the door would (according to Jac) have been the understatement of the century, but luckily for all concerned Father Winder was much more impressed with Jac's biological prowess, than he was shocked by the content of the diagrams. 'Rosa told me you wanted to be a doctor' he had said to her, 'going by that' pointing at the door, 'I think you'll make an excellent one.'

And since then Jac and Jil had continued to communicate through the medium of mirrors, windows and steam, it was she explained 'one of our things' and this Jonny could see made perfect sense of the message she had left for Jenny

'Please don't clean the bathroom mirror today. Thanks. J.'

* * *

**Just to say the thing with the steam and mirrors/windows does actually work (so if you ever fancy leaving someone a message unexpectedly it's a brilliant way of doing it. And obviously (as they'd say on the BBC) other breakfast cereals are available**


	18. Borderline Insanity

_Tuesday Afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

_Darwin_

Jonny exited Bay 2 after changing Mr Jarrett's drip to see Jac in the arms of another man, literally being enveloped in his hug. He felt an instinctive surge of jealousy before his conscious mind intervened with the realisation that the man who was holding Jac must be Daniel. And he felt the sudden and quite alarming anger that had bubbled up unbidden when he'd first spotted the couple dissipate almost as quickly as it had come on him. So this was the famous Daniel, he thought.

Daniel, whom Jil had announced to the staff at the nurse's station, on one of her comfort break expeditions, she was going to have to apologise for in advance. 'He's slightly more over-protective than Jac," she'd explained, "and much, much less knowledgeable. So I'm sorry but he'll be asking you all sorts of stupid questions and making all sorts of stupid requests. So please just ignore him and, if he gets too annoying let me know and I'll try to sort him out'.

Daniel who, Jonny knew, Jil had still refused to call when Jac went to see her as soon as they arrived on the ward, in, he was pleased to note, plenty of time for their revised start-time. He had watched the latter part of their discussion, after getting changed, from the nurse's station whilst he was waiting for Gwen to finish on the phone so she could update him on the news from handover. And though he had no idea what they were saying, he could tell that Jac was trying to persuade Jil of something, but that she was having none of it. His impressions confirmed when Jac, finally realising that she wasn't going to overcome Jil's implacable refusal to do what she wanted, stopped trying and after giving her one of the looks that, if it'd had been directed at anyone else would have made them agree immediately to any suggestion she'd made, walked off. 'She reckons he'll still be asleep' she'd said, 'she said she's not going to phone him till after I've done my first operation so that I can explain everything to him. But she doesn't seem to think it's worth risking waking him up to tell him that's she here. Honestly, she's so stubborn! Which means I need everything ready to go as soon as possible with my list – could you try and get everybody onto it please?' she'd asked, before heading to the locker room to get changed. And Jonny had got everyone working on it, so that by the time she'd emerged on to the ward in her scrubs, and had, spotting Elliott had a discussion with him (Jonny presumed about Jil) Mrs Derwent was just being wheeled from Bay 1 towards the operating theatre, waving to Jil, Beth and Rosie as she went. So Jac was able to escape to the sanctuary of surgery, and for a time to have something to focus on that wasn't Jil-related.

Daniel, who according to Jac had taken the news that Jil had, if not exactly lied to him, certainly not been a hundred percent truthful with him last night, remarkably well, 'much better than I would have done anyway. The cheeky mare even asked him to bring her laptop and some of her box sets down when he comes – and he will too. I wouldn't, but he will – he'd do anything for them, he's totally besotted, still.' And who had, according to Jac not seemed too panicked when she'd spoken to him to try and explain what was going on. 'He had lots of questions but I think I managed to convince him that she was OK for now. I didn't mention surgery either, which probably helped'

Daniel, who Jonny decided it was high time he met. So he walked purposefully over to where he and Jac were talking, noticing with another, what he knew was, irrational flash of jealousy, that he still had a hand on Jac's arm. Jac must have seen him coming in her peripheral vision because she turned towards him and smiling said, "Jonny, this is Daniel." Then turning back to Daniel said, "Daniel this is Jonny."

"Pleased to meet you." Jonny said, holding out his hand, preternaturally pleased to see that Daniel would have to move his hand from Jac's arm in order to shake it.

"Same here" Daniel replied, extending his hand, "It's really good to meet you at last - Jil's told me such a lot about you."

'Now that's unexpected' Jonny thought, 'I wonder why neither of them mentioned that?' "All good I hope?" he asked, as they broke off their handshake.

"Oh, much better than good!" Daniel said smiling, "she's a big fan of yours. If I didn't know her so well I might even be jealous the way she's been singing your praises since she was last down."

"Is that so?" Jonny said, turning to Jac with a very smug smile on his face, "seems like you might have a bit of competition," he continued.

"In your dreams Maconie," Jac replied, "Jil's got heart problems, she's not borderline insane like me."

Before Jonny could think of a suitable reply, the call bell system sounded and looking round he saw there was no-one else at the nurse's station to answer it. "Sorry," he said looking at Daniel, "I've got to.."

"Oh yeah, of course," Daniel replied, "go on. We'll get better acquainted later, yeah," he called after Jonny.

"Of course" Jonny called back, before heading off to see Mrs Thele.

As he came out of the side room he heard a burst of laughter coming from Bay 1, and reaching the nurse's station saw Rosie sitting on the end of Jil's bed, with Beth practically hanging out of hers, with Jac sitting between their two beds and Daniel on the other side of Jil's. Someone had obviously just said something very funny because he could see that they were all still amused – and he was especially pleased to see that Jac seemed to be having a good time. He had been worried that she wouldn't take her breaks today, instead preferring to remain in theatre all day to avoid the uncertainty that swirled around the ward with regard to Jil. However, these fears had not been realised, and though he really could have done without Jac's outburst, if that's what you could call it, at lunchtime, he didn't think they'd done too badly in the circumstances. …

ooooooooooooo

"Where is everybody?" he'd asked a harassed looking Tara as he came back from a loo break to find the nurse's station empty and the call bell panel lit up like a Christmas tree.

Tara, who looked like she was either about to start juggling or drop the files and folders she was holding, said "I don't know about Steve but I think Suraya and Lynn are getting carpeted by Miss Naylor."

"What? Why?"

"Something about obs I think" Tara replied, uncertainly, "she didn't really say just ordered them into her office. Sorry, I can't help" she continued, indicating the panel, "but I've got to do all…"

"It's alright," Jonny interrupted, "I'll sort it." And so saying, headed off towards Jac's office. As he reached the door he heard her raised voice which caused his heart to sink,

'..upid of me to expect people to actually do their jobs. I mean how ridiculous a concept would tha.." She was stopped mid-sentence by Jonny opening the door

"The call bell's going crazy" he said, with no preamble, "I need them" indicating with his head the two nurses standing in front of Jac's desk, "on the floor. Now"

Jac glared at him, but, as she could hear the call bell herself couldn't really deny his request. "Fine" she'd snapped, "Go!" an order directed at the two nurses, who almost ran out of the room. "But," she'd said to Jonny as he left the office, "that is not the end of this."

'No' he'd thought to himself, 'it certainly is not!'

Later, when the call bells had been answered, lunch had been served and things were as calm as they ever were likely to be, he again made the short journey from the nurse's station to Jac's office. He knocked this time, a courtesy he hadn't even considered on his last trip, and waited to be invited in, which he was, after just long enough to be considered rude.

He walked into the office to see Jac staring stony-faced at him, she waited for him to close the door before beginning. "I don't want to hear any excuses – it's just not good enough. 30 minute obs are 30 minute obs for a reason and when I ask for them to be done I expect my instructions to be followed."

"Jac"

"Don't Jac me," she snapped, "All I want is for people to actually do the jobs they're meant to, that they're paid for. Surely that's not too much to ask for?"

"Well, in that case," Jonny replied, "why don't you let me do the job I'm paid for? I'm ward manager – the nurses are my responsibility, and if you have a complaint about any of them you should come to me, and I'll sort it."

"Well maybe if you were _better _at your job and _actually_ managed the nurses I wouldn't need to complain."

"That's not fair Jac, and you know it." Jonny said. "We're short-staffed again and everybody's working flat out, doing their best – but you have to realise Jil is not our only patient."

"You think I don't know that? I've just operated on two of them, which" the words spilled from her, giving voice to her fears and frustration, before she had a chance to censor them, "is more than I'll be able to do for Jil." And Jonny knew at once what this was all about – Jac was desperately trying to exert as much control as humanly possible over the little she could about Jil's treatment. He knew that surgery was looking more and more likely and that Jac would be able to play absolutely no part in it if, indeed, it came to that. She would have to put her trust, and more importantly the life, no lives he corrected himself, of two of the most precious people in her life, into the hands of someone else. And he knew how difficult that concept was to accept, doubly so for Jac, who was so used to being in control - the one who saved people and who, he knew, would do almost anything for Jil. "It was bad enough before," Jac continued, "but at least then I wasn't properly qualified, so, I don't know, it didn't feel so bad. But now, now I'm a qualified bloody C.T. surgeon, a consultant and all I'll be able to do is watch. And I know it's Elliot but….but it's Jil and, and I should be doing more – she's my best friend for godsake. It should be me looking after her – that's my job, it's what we do."

"Oh Jac sweetheart," Jonny began, but then realised that he didn't know what else to say. Knew, in fact, that there was nothing he _could_ say that would make this better, so instead he walked round to the back of her chair put his arms round her and kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry" he said, reasoning that that was the best he'd be able to do

"Not half as sorry as I am" Jac replied, "Bloody BMA and their stupid rules!"

"Hey,"

"I know, I know!...I know why they say it, and I know they're right to, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, does it?" She said, tilting her head back to look up at him.

"No, I don't suppose it does," he admitted, smiling sympathetically down at her before leaning over to kiss her forehead. "But," he continued, walking out from behind her chair and turning it slightly as he did so, so that they were facing each other, "you can't take your frustrations out on everyone else."

"Why not?" Jac asked, "it's what I always do. You think they'd be used to it by now. I mean, it's hardly a new thing is it – me shouting at people?"

"Well no," Jonny admitted, "no I don't suppose it is, but" he continued "that's not to say it's OK, because it's really not, not by any stretch of the imagination."

"But," Jac protested, "if people just did what they were asked to, when they were meant to, then I wouldn't get frustrated, so I wouldn't need to shout. It's quite simple really."

"Oh Jac," Jonny, who had got Suraya and Lynn's version of events after the call bells had been dealt with, gently admonished, "you know nothing is ever that simple on a ward like ours! The obs _were_ done late, but that was because we're a nurse and a HCA down today and there's only so much everybody else can do, and sometimes other things have to take priority. And," he continued, trying to pre-empt whatever it was Jac seemed about to say, "I'm sorry about that – I really am, and I've been trying to sort the staffing situation out since this morning to no avail. And before you ask – yes I am still trying."

"Right, OK." Jac said, although she didn't sound entirely convinced, "just try and make sure that it doesn't happen again. And," she continued, remembering something Jonny had said earlier, "it's not because it was Jil that I was annoyed, I was just as angry that everybody else didn't get their obs done on time. Well," she admitted, "maybe not quite so angry, but I still was"

"I know, I know," Jonny replied. And he did know, he had never had cause to doubt Jac's commitment to any of her patients and although it was obvious that Jil was a special case he did realise that she would have been pretty peeved whoever it was. "It's just you have to remember that sometimes"

"things happen." Jac finished for him, "and I know that too. Really I do, but well that doesn't mean I'm not going to complain about it. On which point – do you need me to phone anyone to get you some more staff, because I'd be more than happy to."

"I'm sure you would," Jonny answered with a wry smile, "but no. Thanks for the offer but think I'd rather handle it myself."

"Suit yourself," Jac said. "But I'm sure I'd be able to kick them in to touch so…"

"That's what I'm afraid of" Jonny said very quietly to himself earning himself a suspicious look from Jac who nevertheless continued,

"…if you change your mind, well, you know where I am."

"I certainly do" Jonny agreed, thinking 'and if I need a sledgehammer to crack a nut I'll know exactly where to come. "But you don't need to worry – I'll get it sorted.

"Ok" Jac said, not sounding particularly convinced.

"I will" Jonny persisted, smiling in that really annoying way that Jac hated (because it made him look so appealing and because it was so difficult to resist) "I promise."

"Alright, alright, I believe you," Jac replied, finding it impossible, yet again, not to respond to him with a smile of her own. "Well, go on then," she continued, determined to prove that he couldn't completely charm her, "get to it. I'm expecting to see at least one extra member of staff on the ward by the time I've finished my paperwork, sooo…."

"So, I'll go and sort that then" Jonny finished for her, before walking over to the door.

"Yep," Jac said continuing sarcastically, as if to prove that she hadn't gone soft, "brilliant idea. Well done!" But Jonny, who knew what she was doing, and why, just ignored the tone of her voice and replied.

"Glad you think so too. It's nice to know you recognise genius when you see it!" before opening the door and heading back towards the nurse's station. And Jac, realising that he'd managed to have the last word, could only smile, before she too got back to work.

ooooooooooooo

So, Jonny was more than pleased to see Jac sitting down and seemingly enjoying herself. He was still worried about the strain she was under but wondered if, now that Daniel was here, that burden would lighten somewhat – he could only hope that would be the case. His musings were interrupted by the call bell sounding, 'No rest for the wicked' he thought to himself, 'which obviously means' his train of thought continuing as he glanced smiling at Bay 1 once more, as he got up, 'that Jac isn't such a wicked witch as she pretends to be.'


	19. Something Special

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews - please keep them coming (40 is my next target!). And James I won't be killing off Tara in this story (she'll be making another appearance shortly) but do have an idea for another story that will include her death in it and hopefully tie up some of the other things that have happened on 'real' Holby that I have chosen not to include in this one.**

* * *

_Tuesday evening, Holby City Hospital_

_Darwin_

Jonny waited on the ward for Jac to return from the case conference. He was on edge – eager to know the decision, yet dreading it at the same time. He had read the MRI scan report himself and, more tellingly, had been there when Jac had read it and seen the momentary flash of fear that had passed over her face as she did so. And he knew then that it had become a matter of when, and not if, Jil would need surgery. That the case conference that that had been arranged for that afternoon, with a video link to Professor Kopelmann at the Royal Brompton, would now be discussing the nuts and bolts of the operation – the how and the who and the where and the when – rather than if there was a need for surgery at all. There could be no mistake – the MRI scan had been looked at, apparently at Mr Hanssen's request, by the head of radiology who had confirmed the opinion of the consultant radiologist who had already reported on it. And Jonny was surprised at Mr Hanssen's intervention although, thinking about it now, he knew he shouldn't be. He and Jac did seem to have some strange kind of understanding, which had been more obvious since Jac's trip to Sweden, and it was obvious that despite his death eater reputation Mr Hanssen actually cared very deeply about his staff and their well-being. And Jonny found it strangely comforting to think that he would be with Jac in the case conference. He had wanted to be with her too and, for once, she had seemed OK with the prospect of him openly supporting her. Her response to him of, 'Oh yes, that would be good', to him asking whether she wanted him to be there, surprising and pleasing him in equal measure. But then work had got in the way – Mrs Thele had 'gone off' yet again, which had put everything else off kilter on the ward, and meant that he was still doing the medication round (a task he couldn't delegate) when the case conference started , and then there was still handover to do. Which was why he found himself here, now, hanging round the ward checking the clock every few minutes and hoping against hope for some good news.

ooooooooooooo

Jac left the relative's room and wandered over to the nurse's station where Jonny was still waiting. She had insisted, so Elliott informed Jonny, on telling Jil and Daniel the results of the case conference herself but had, after doing that, left them with Mr Thompson, the obstetrician, and Professor Zeller the neonatologist. They were now discussing whether or not Jil should have the steroids that would help with Robin's lung development, in case a caesarean section became necessary. She already knew that Jil would say yes, disregarding any potential risk to herself in order to give her unborn baby the best possible chance, but had decided to leave Jil and Daniel alone to make that decision together, without any influence from her. Because Jil knew and like him Jac had also asked Sean to be present and he had agreed straight away with no stupid comments about her finding him irresistible or owing him a favour. This made Jac think that either the rumour mill had gone into overdrive or that the strain she was feeling was showing through in her voice. And she had the sneaking, and rather unsettling, suspicion that it was the latter.

"I just want to wait till they've finished," she said, looking back over at the relative's room, "make sure they're alright, and then we can go, OK?"

"Of course," Jonny replied. "It makes no odds to me, whenever you're ready."

"Thanks," Jac said, managing a small smile, as she sat down.

"Are _you_ OK?" Jonny asked, noticing the signs of strain that appeared on Jac's face as soon as her smile faded.

"Mmm, I suppose so." Jac replied, uncertainly.

"How did they take the news from the case conference?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "Jil was pleased she'd be able to have the op here rather than going back to London, because she'll be able to spend more time with me" she continued, another small smile appearing on her face. "But, if I'm honest, I'm not really sure how much they took on board, although she has agreed to let her parents know tomorrow, so maybe something did stick."

"She hasn't told them yet?" Jonny asked incredulously.

"Nope," Jac stated. "Reckoned there was no point in worrying them, when we didn't know what was going to happen."

"Unbelievable!" Jonny said, "she really is something special your friend."

"On yes," Jac agreed, "that she is!"

ooooooooooooo

"So, do you want me to stay tonight then?" Jonny asked as they sat in a traffic jam waiting to get on to the ring road.

"Yes, if that's ok with you?" Jac replied. "I promise I won't wake up a gibbering wreck this time. Well, I'll try not to," she corrected herself.

"Hey, it's fine if you do," Jonny reassured her. "Although, maybe I won't fell asleep holding your hand tonight – you've an exceptionally strong grip you know."

"Mmm hmm," Jac said. "I do know actually. It's because of all the exercises I do to keep my fingers in tip-top surgery ready condition."

"You do finger exercises?" Jonny asked, unable to keep the astonishment out of his voice.

"Of course," Jac replied, "if you don't use it you'll lose it, after all." Continuing, "have I never shown you my trick with the pound coin?"

"I don't think so," Jonny said, "although you're going to have to now."

"Yeah, well that'll be something for you to look forward to when we get back, won't it? Oh, and I might need a bit of help with the sofa bed too – I've not used it since I got it, so it'll probably need a bit of extra oomph to get it all set up. If your hand's recovered now, of course," she continued, smiling impishly over at him.

"My hand is fine now, thank you." Jonny retorted, returning her smile. "See," he said, reaching over to touch her cheek, "it's in perfect working order."

"Hmm," Jac said, catching it between her own, "I'll just check shall I?" and started to examine his hand, stroking it and gently bending his fingers, before saying, "Yep, seems fine, but just in case…" she quickly kissed the back of his hand before finally letting it go and saying, "Now, it's definitely fine!"

"Think you're right," Jonny said, "it suddenly feels a whole lot better to me. You obviously have the touch" he said, reaching over to take one of her hands in his and quickly kissing it. And they stayed like this, holding hands in a companionable silence, until the traffic in front started to move and Jonny had to reluctantly let go of Jac's hand. And when the traffic had, once again, come to a standstill, and he was able to look over at her again he saw that she had fallen asleep. And for possibly the first time in his life he didn't mind the rush hour traffic and the traffic jams or the delays they brought.


	20. Jonny's way

**Hi Folks. Sorry - this is a very short update, but really thought the next part needed a new chapter (which is I promise longer). As ever, enjoy and please review if you have the time - I really do like to know what everyone thinks and constructive criticism is always welcome.**

* * *

_Wednesday morning, Holby_

_Jac's flat_

Jac woke suddenly, as if from a bad dream but with no memory of having had one. She rolled over on to her back and feeling Jonny next to her began to relax again. And then she remembered….'Jil' she thought and felt the dread suddenly sweep over her. She felt her heart begin to beat faster as she was suddenly overwhelmed by thoughts about what was what to come, what might happen. She was extremely tempted to wake up Jonny knowing that he would be able to reassure her and calm her down but glancing over at the clock which read 5.42 the less selfish part of her decided that she couldn't. He had a late shift today and had already had one disturbed night's sleep. And she had a sneaking suspicion that he hadn't slept particularly well over the weekend either. As, if she was honest, had been the case for her too. She had, she admitted to herself, missed Jonny's presence and, although it hadn't been quite as bad as when he was working those three night shifts, because at least Jil was there next to her, she knew that her own disturbed sleep wasn't just due to Jil's couple of trips to the toilet. And she was surprised to find that this fact, that she missed Jonny, wasn't as scary as she'd thought it be, actually that it wasn't scary at all. Instead it actually felt right somehow. She realised that following this particular train of thought had calmed her down somewhat, but also that, as there was no chance she'd get back to sleep, she might as well get up. So, after the briefest of pauses to look at Jonny sleeping she slipped as carefully as possible out of bed, trying not to wake him. After a brief toilet stop she padded down the corridor towards the kitchen, remembering just in time that Daniel was sleeping in the lounge so she couldn't go in there.

She filled the kettle and turned it on before walking over to the sink to look out of the window. The click of the kettle disturbed her reverie and she realised that she must have been gazing out of the window, seemingly without thinking, for at least three minutes. "For goodness sake," she said to herself, "come on, pull yourself together. You're not going to be any use to anyone like this."

"You do know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness don't you?" a voice said from the doorway.

And Jac, who had been startled by the interruption span quickly round and said, "Jeez Jonny are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Before continuing, "and talking to yourself is NOT a problem. If you hear people talking back when there's no-one there, then you _might_ be in trouble, but otherwise it's fine. Just as well really, seeing as how you're always complaining that's what you spend your life doing with me and Mo," she concluded, grinning cheekily at him.

"Well I do," Jonny said, "you never listen to anything I say."

"Oh diddums," Jac replied, "do the nasty doctors keep ignoring you? Maybe it's because they can't understand what you're saying because of your accent."

"Oi," Jonny said, raising his voice slightly in mock anger, "don't you diss my accent. I could have you for racial discrimination for saying things like that."

"I'd like to see you try," Jac replied smiling, "and keep your voice down – Daniel's still asleep." She paused for a moment and then asked, "Which reminds me, why aren't you?"

"Why aren't I what?" Jonny asked, confused.

"Still asleep," Jac replied.

"I could ask you the same question." Jonny answered, having considered but quickly discounted the possibility of telling her about his internal 'Jac-watch' alarm.

"I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep," Jac replied simply.

"Another nightmare?" Jonny asked concerned.

"No, I don't think so" Jac said. "Although it did all come back to me in a bit of a rush."

"Oh baby" Jonny said, walking over to her and giving her a hug.

And Jac stayed there for a few moments, enjoying the feeling of safety his arms engendered in her, before, as was her way, saying. "You can let go now, I'm not about to fall about at the seams."

And Jonny who had by now become accustomed to, if not particularly comfortable with Jac's usual response to displays of affection did let her go. But only after giving her one final squeeze and gently kissing the top of her head. To prove that, though he was doing what she asked, he would do it his way.


	21. Those 'good lies'

**Well, I slightly bored _myself_ with this chapter(although think it does pick up towards the end) so apologies in advance if you find this one a bit tedious. The next chapter is looking a little better (so far) so please try to stick with it...**

* * *

_Wednesday morning, Holby City Hospital_

_Darwin_

Jil watched as Daniel and Jac spoke at the nurse's station, she wondered for a moment what they were talking about before concluding that if it was anything she needed to know about one of them would let her know. Although, she reconsidered, perhaps not actually. She felt Robin move inside her and looking down at her bump began to repeat the silent prayer she'd been saying on and off since she'd begun to realise how serious the situation the two of them were facing could potentially be. '28 weeks, 28 weeks. Please God, let me get to 28 weeks.' Although, she felt herself it might be a prayer too far – she knew it was highly unlikely that even with all the marvels of modern medicine and the skills of everyone here, that they'd be able to delay her operation for another three weeks, but she reasoned, it couldn't hurt to try.

She glanced over at Jac and Daniel again and was struck by the same sense of relief and gratitude as ever that they got on so well. She knew it shouldn't matter but from experience, knew how much it actually did, remembering how difficult it had been when she had been with Tom. To be fair Jac had done her best to keep a lid on her feelings about him, never once really letting on how she actually felt about him until the 'Terrible Tom' party they'd had. But Tom had never made a secret of his dislike for Jac which, looking back, Jil could now see was because he knew that she didn't trust him, and what was more that she had every right not to. A guilty conscience could, she had found, manifest itself in many different ways, an intense dislike of the ones who pricked it being one of them. So she was extremely grateful that Jac and Daniel had got on so well right from the start, remembering with a smile, Jac's verdict of 'He's a keeper' when she'd literally just met him all those years ago. Jil watched them talking for a few moments more and once again followed a much travelled train of thought….

She knew that most people said girls were attracted to men who reminded them of their dads but this had never rung true for her with Daniel, who was so very different from her dad. And it had taken her a few months to figure out who it was that Daniel did remind her of. Although, when it had dawned on her it suddenly seemed so obvious, she had no idea how she had missed it before. Daniel was like Jac or, perhaps, like a tempered version of Jac – a male version of how Jac might have been if she'd grown up in a secure and loving family like Daniel had. He had the same drive and motivation to do his best, and the same work ethic but wasn't plagued by the notion that he had to constantly prove himself. He was as fiercely loyal as Jac and would, like her, always fight the underdog's corner. And he had the same brave and generous heart but, unlike Jac, did not feel the need to keep this hidden, for fear of appearing weak. And of course they shared the same sarcastic sense of humour, although Daniel had never, in Jil's experience, been as cutting and cruel as Jac could sometimes be. And then, she thought with a rueful smile, there was their tempers and whilst she had to admit it took a lot more to get Daniel riled than it did Jac, when he was it was just as explosive and formidable. She stopped considering the similarities between her husband and her best friend as she noticed that their conversation had ended and that Daniel was walking back towards her. "So what's the news?" she asked.

"Well," Daniel replied, "it seems like you're going up in the world Mrs Lovell."

"What?"

"You're being upgraded. You're being moved to one of the side rooms. And, before you start," he said, trying to pre-empt Jil's expected objections, "Jac has not wangled this for you, apparently you're the person on the ward with the greatest clinical need. So, you will just smile and say thank you when they come to move you."

"But," Jil began.

"Smile and say thank you," he repeated again, slightly louder, "OK?"

"OK," Jil reluctantly agreed. Although, if she was honest it would be somewhat of a relief. Rosie had been discharged yesterday evening and Beth was all set to go as soon as her husband arrived and although she was sure that Mrs Jennings was a lovely woman it was, she had to admit, taking it out of her having to speak so loud so that she could hear. Also, she knew that being in a side room would make it easier for her to circumnavigate the rules about visiting or, more accurately, help her to feel less guilty about Daniel blatantly flouting them as he had been since he'd arrived yesterday. And this would she knew be even more important when her parents arrived today, as there was no way anyone would be able to persuade them to leave if they didn't want to. And she couldn't really face the thought of the hoo-ha that might result if anyone tried to.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jil woke and wondered, for a moment, where she was until she remembered her move to the side room earlier that morning. She looked round expecting to see Daniel in the chair by her bed, and was surprised to see Jonny there instead, out of his uniform but still checking her drip. "Where's Daniel?" she asked him.

"I think he's gone to the canteen to get something for lunch," he replied. "And he said something about making some phone calls whilst you were asleep."

"What time is it then?" Jil asked confused.

"Twenty to one" Jonny answered, after checking his watch.

"I didn't think I'd missed lunch." Jil said, before continuing, "So what are you doing here then? I thought you were on a late today."

"I am," Jonny said, and seeing the expression on Jil's face went on to explain. "I had to run Jac in this morning and then do a few bits at home. But when I'd finished them I thought I might as well come in and spend some time with my favourite patient."

"Jac didn't ask you to, did she?" Jil asked suspiciously, "because if she did you ca…"

"No, no," Jonny hurriedly, and truthfully, assured her, "it was all my own idea, honestly. And anyway, how do you know what shift I'm meant to be working?"

At this question, Jil closed her eyes – an expression of intense concentration on her face and after a brief pause said, "Late, early, late… long day, off….erm.. late, off" and then opened her eyes. And seeing the astonished look on Jonny's face explained, "Jac's got a copy of the rotas at home."

'Of course she has!' Jonny thought to himself, only to be astonished yet again when after a perfectly timed for effect pause Jil continued,

"Your shifts are highlighted," and then smiled over at him. The most knowing smile he had ever been given by anyone, even Jac.

"Really?" he said, after a short pause, as the information sank in, and he felt his smile grow into a grin. 'Who would have thunk it?" He thought to himself.

"Really," Jil confirmed, as her own smile transformed into a beam, as she saw the effect this news had on Jonny.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"..and obviously Daniel's interested in the S.P.L. too but, well there's not so many chances to watch that down here. And to be honest I've never really got his interest in it – I mean it's always been a two horse race hasn't it? And neither of them are his team, although now that Rangers aren't there I suppose there will at least be a bit more of a fight for second place. But, well do you remember anyone who won silver in the Olympics?" The talk of Scotland reminded Jonny of something he'd been meaning to ask Jil about but before he had the chance she threw him by suddenly saying, after she'd noticed him frowning slightly at the readings on the monitors by her bed, unable to completely turn his nurse's head off as they discussed football, "I do know,"

"Know what?" Jonny asked, confused at this sudden change of topic.

"How serious this is," she answered, indicating first the monitors and then the room as a whole. "How bad it could be. It's just…well, if I let it show then that'll make Daniel and Jac worry even more, and I don't want that," she continued earnestly.

And Jonny was, once again, struck by how very special Jac and Jil's friendship was, must be. They were both trying to protect each other from worrying about the other but were potentially both adding to the stress they felt by doing so. He had seen the toll putting a brave face on things was having on Jac and now it seemed like Jil was also feeling the extra pressure of pretending everything was OK for Jac's benefit too. "But," he said carefully, "I'd have thought you of all people would think that bottling your feelings up isn't a particularly clever thing to do. I mean, isn't that what you get people to do every day – talk about how they're feeling, because you _know_ that's the only way to get things sorted."

"You've got me there Jonny," Jil said smiling, "but then that's work and this is my life, our lives, and _I never_ said I always practice what I preach. Just like you I bet," she added, before seeing the quizzical look on Jonny's face, continuing. "I mean how many times a day do you tell your patients about the benefits of healthy living – giving up smoking, cutting down on alcohol, eating their 5 a day - before going out to Albie's knocking back a few pints and then stopping off for a kebab on the way home?"

"Mmmm, fair point" Jonny conceded, "but, still, I can't help thinking it can't be good for you keeping all this…..stuff…worry…inside, and I know Jac would hate it if she found out you'd been keeping it from her."

"But she doesn't need anything else to worry about at the moment," Jil argued. "Although I have to admit it does feel weird not talking to her about it. We're normally so honest with each other – I bet I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've lied to her since uni. No, really" she insisted, seeing Jonny's disbelieving expression, "we don't do little white lies, because there's no need and there are very few occasions when you actually need to tell huge whoppers to someone you've known as long, and love as much as Jac and I do each other. And in our case it's always been like now, when I've been trying to convince her of something that I knew wasn't the case but which I really wanted her to believe. That I was alright when we were on holiday in Madrid, or after I had the miscarriage. That everything would be OK when her mum stole her kidney and then buggered off again or when Joseph left for the Lake District. You know, those lies you tell because you don't want the person you'd told them to to miss out on something, or because you can't bear to see them hurting any more, which you know they would if you told them the truth. Those kind of lies – the protective ones, the good ones! You do know, don't you?"

"Yep, I know" Jonny admitted, thinking back to some of the lies he had told which would definitely fall into that category. "I really do, but."

"But you still think that it'd be better for me if I told Jac how I was actually feeling about everything? Not least because that might encourage her to be honest about how she's actually feeling about everything"

"Erm" Jonny didn't know what to say to that, realising that Jac would never forgive him if he revealed anything to Jil of how she really was feeling.

"It's OK," Jil said, "I don't expect you to answer that. Anyway I already know how worried Jac is – we've been friends for way too long for her to be able to hide that from me, no matter how hard she tries to disguise it. And I'd bet you any money she knows exactly how I'm feeling too – those lies I told, she never did believe me, she knows me too well too."

"But then why bother with the whole lie thing?" Jonny asked, completely confused.

"Because it's what you do. It's stupid, but true – sometimes those 'good lies' are the only thing you can give to someone you love so much, you'd do anything rather than hurt them, or see them hurt. The same goes for me and Daniel, we're bo…"

"You talking about me again," a voice interrupted them from the doorway, "I knew there had to be a reason my ears were so hot."

"You must have been standing with your head in the sun then," Jil replied, "because that's the first time I've mentioned your name in _ages._ Right Jonny?"

"Ermm," Jonny, his head still reeling from what they'd just been talking about, struggled to answer, having trouble switching from the previous topic of conversation, "erm, I, I really couldn't, don't know"

"What've you done to him?" Daniel asked Jil. "He was having a perfectly sensible conversation with me earlier, and now after ten minutes with you he can't even seem to string a sentence together."

"Ah, well I've dazzled him with my brilliance you see! Isn't that right Jonny?" Jil replied, looking at him with a smile on her face, and a look in her eyes that he couldn't quite place.

"Oh, yeah," he replied weakly, still trying to get his head together. "Yep, that's right" he continued, with slightly more confidence, "she's befuddled me." Which was, he realised, not too far from the truth.

"Aye, well she's good at that." Daniel said, "I've been bewitched, bothered and bewildered by her since the day I met her, so I'd say befuddled's actually quite good."

"You love it really." Jil interjected

"Never said I didn't," Daniel retorted.

"And you missed one descriptor off," she continued, as if he hadn't said anything, "besotted. You're also besotted with me – in a _good_ way," she emphasised looking at Jonny.

"Yep, suppose I am." Daniel admitted, "but then a bit of besottedness is alright, isn't it?"

"Well, it's fine by me" Jil said, "especially because, if I'm honest, which I always try to be, the feelings mutual."

"Oh you say the sweetest things," Daniel said, moving round to the other side of the bed and kissing Jil's forehead, before sitting down on the chair by her bed.

"I do, don't I?" Jil replied, smiling. "Did you have your lunch? Jonny said you told him you were going to get something."

"Well I did, but I haven't eaten it yet. Got some sandwiches and stuff cos I thought it might be nice to have lunch with my wife. That is if you haven't got any other plans obviously?"

"Hmmm, well I'll have to cancel on George, but I'm sure he'll get over it _eventually._" Jil replied smiling. "Ooohh, actually, Jonny" she said, turning to look at him, "you've not had your lunch yet have you?" Jonny shook his head, "and your shift doesn't start till 2, right?" He nodded, uncertainly. "Excellent, so all I need to do now is ascertain Jac's availability and then my plan will come together nicely. You're alright to get something for lunch that you can bring back here aren't you?" she asked

"Best to agree mate" Daniel said, "it never does to get in the way of one of Jil's plans, believe me!"

"Erm, yes, sure I can do that." Jonny said, having no idea what was going on really but deciding that Daniel was probably right.

"And can you get something for Jac too?" Jil continued, "Don't worry" she said, noticing the look on Jonny's face, "I'll tell her it was my idea – she'll be fine."

"Erm, yep, why not?" Jonny said, even as he said it, thinking of at least three answers to that question.

"Great," Jil said smiling. "I love it when a plan comes together"


	22. Double date

**Apologies for the ludicrously long time it has taken me to update this, hopefully I'll be a wee bit quicker with the next one. Please let me know what you think - it's always really good to hear.**

* * *

_Wednesday afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

_Darwin_

"Well," Jil remarked, looking round the room, "it's not quite the first double date I had in mind but it could be worse I suppose."

"I can't believe I agreed to this." Jac said, disparagingly.

"Oh stop moaning and eat your Crunchie."

"And how come I get to sit on the uncomfortable chair," Jac continued looking at the plastic chair she was sitting on with disgust, seemingly ignoring Jil's interruption but picking up the Crunchie nevertheless.

"Because you were the last one in" Jil explained, "despite the fact I told you at least five minutes before Jonny got back to come in here"

"Well, pardon me for doing my job – someone had to make sure the ward didn't descend into chaos, and trust me Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum out there weren't going to do it!"

"You can sit here" Jonny offered, patting the armchair he was sitting on, choosing to ignore her reference to Tara and Oli, and hoping that Jil would too.

"It's too late now" Jac said, looking over at him with an expression which could have curdled milk.

"You _never_ said," he objected.

"I shouldn't have to," Jac countered.

"Hey," Jil said, eager to nip this disagreement in the bud before it grew into anything of any consequence, "you can sit on my bed if you want."

"Oh no she can't," Jonny interjected, "nobody's meant to sit on patient's beds"

"But you're _always_ doing it" Jac said, disbelievingly.

"Well, yes..maybe," Jonny reluctantly admitted, "but not when I'm eating."

"Crumbs in the bed!" Jac exclaimed, "that's what you're worried about isn't it? Honestly – I can't believe you, all the problems in the NHS and you're worried about some crumbs in the bed and of course the absolutely crucial matter of the positioning of the ward stapler," she continued, remembering one of Jonny's other little obsessions

"Hey, you're the first one to get antsy if things aren't where they're meant to be. And who's the person who spent half of a night shift linking all the paper clips of each colour together?"

"Ooohh that reminds me," Jil said, looking at Daniel, "have you heard from my parents recently? I'd have thought there'd have been here by now."

"Why would _that _remind you about your parents?" Jac asked incredulously, "paperclips? What on earth have paperclips got to do with them?"

"Well, I could explain" Jil replied, switching her gaze back to Jac "but I don't think you'd be able to understand the workings of my beautiful mind. And I see you've still not eaten that Crunchie," she continued, looking pointedly at the chocolate bar that Jac was still holding, unopened. Jac stuck her tongue out at her best friend before, unable to keep the pretence of annoyance up, grinning and, emphasising each movement, opening the wrapper and taking a bite. Jil smiled back at her before, once again turning her attention to Daniel, saying. "So, my parents – any news?"

"Sorry I meant to say, but then I got side-tracked with this whole lunch thing," he replied, apologetically. "They called when I was on my way back from the canteen, so about..erm half an hour, 40 minutes ago and they were just at the Delamere services."

"Still? Is the M4 bad or something? They were just leaving when they phoned me and that was at half ten"

"Well your dad did say it was a bit congested around Reading, but I think the main hold-up was that they had to go back home after they set off."

"Why?"

"Your mum remembered that she hadn't given the spare key to the neighbours, so Sas wouldn't be able to get in."

"Oohh that was lucky," Jil said, "a near-disaster averted. It's such a nuisance that they had to have the locks changed. I'll have to remember to ask them to get me a new set cut. So, how far had they got before mum realised?"

"Luckily, not too far. They hadn't got on to the motorway but your dad still didn't sound that impressed."

"Oh poor mum," Jil said, "I bet he was a nightmare. Can you imagine what he said?"

"Knowing your dad, think I'd rather not" Daniel replied. "I can't imagine the air was anything but blue though.

"Oh do you remember that time we were coming back from Chessington?" Jac asked

"When Rob was sick you mean?" Jil replied, "ohh that was awful. Dad was soooo angry."

"And we had to stop at those services and he kept going on about how Rob shouldn't have been so greedy, and how he never would have been sick if he hadn't eaten all that crap" Jac said smiling.

"Oh yeah – and the candy floss" Jil added, grinning, "but he didn't call it that did he?" she continued beginning to giggle. "What was it he said…ohh…cotton floss!"

"_Pink_ cotton floss!" Jac corrected, also beginning to laugh, "And we were both trying so hard not to laugh"

"And not doing a particularly good job at it if I remember. Didn't we end up going to the toilets in the end?"

"Yeah, even though we'd been before we left, which then made your dad have a go at us when we got back about drinking too much."

"Oh yeah – I'd forgotten about that. It's weird you know because he only really gets like that when he's driving. Mind you it was particularly bad timing on Rob's part cos we'd not long had that car then – think it was only a couple of months old."

"What?" Jac said suspiciously, suddenly noticing the looks Daniel and Jonny were exchanging.

"No, it's nothing" Jonny tried to assuage her, "it's just nice to see you smiling. Both of you," he said looking at Jil too. "It's just really nice."

"Seconded," Daniel said, "I love it when you two get together cos I can always guarantee that it'll make Jil happy."

"Ohhh," Jil said, "that's so sweet." Before, noticing the look on Jac's face, and trying to ward off the sarcastic comment she was expecting, continuing, "oi – it IS"

"Whatever you say," Jac replied, before eating the last bit of her Crunchie.

"So," Jonny asked, "what happened next? How did you manage to calm your dad down?"

"Ah, well," Jac started, but then stopped, glancing over at Jil with an expression Jonny couldn't quite read on her face. "Erm, well.."

"What?" Jonny said, his curiosity piqued by Jac's strange reaction. "What did you do? Come on, you've got to tell me now! Do you know?" he said, addressing Daniel, who slowly shook his head, a thoughtful look on his face.

"No… I don't think so – can't remember ever hearing this story before. But I'm intrigued now. So, out with it….what did you do?"

"Well, erm" Jac said

"You've said that before!" Jonny noted, earning him another look from Jac, which he noticed but decided to ignore, continuing, "you need to actually finish the sentence for us to be able to follow the conversation."

"Thank you Dr Johnson!" Jac replied, shooting another of her looks at him, a warning that he didn't feel able to ignore again. But the offensive was taken up by Daniel who said,

"Oh come on – spill. It can't be that bad, surely," but who, on seeing the guilty looks being exchanged between his wife and her best friend, began to lose confidence in this assertion, and finished in a much less confident tone of voice. "Can it?"

"Erm, well," Jac started, "well no, no it wasn't awful. Not really, was it Jil?" she appealed to her friend.

"Well, no," Jil confirmed, "no it wasn't_ awful._ But it wasn't our finest moment either."

"So," Jonny said, judging that it was safe for him to speak again, "what happened?"

"We just" began Jil, "well we…"

"we reminded him about why he'd had to stop in the first place," Jac continued.

"by just mentioning that we'd gone to the toilet because we weren't sure whether he was going to stop again because he'd probably want to get home as quickly as possible" Jil took over

"to sort the car out." Jac finished.

"Is that all?" Jonny asked, "a bit of deflection. Oh that's fine! I used to do it all the time with my sisters. Jeez, the way you were going on I was beginning to think you'd done something truly terrible."

"Well," Jac said, despite Jonny's reassurance still sounding guilty, "it was pretty terrible for Rob. Your dad harangued him all the way home, didn't he?" she said, looking at Jil.

"Oh yes," Jil agreed, "he kept going on and on about him being irresponsible and greedy and how he'd be the one cleaning the car up when we got back because that might teach him that actions had consequences."

"And poor Rob just looked so dreadful!" Jac interjected, "he really wasn't well."

"Oh, pish-posh," Daniel said, "I'm with Jonny on this one. Me and James were always doing it, and as for Shona, well, she was a past master at it. It's survival of the fittest when it comes to defusing your parent's wrath and I am sure Rob did it to you too."

"Yeah, probably" Jil conceded, "but still.."

"But nothing," Jonny interrupted cheerily, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger after all. And as someone who grew up in a house full of women let me tell you it was quite an education seeing how they dealt with everything the world threw at them. I learnt ever such a lot, believe me. But seeing as you seem to be in a confessional mood, have you got any other long-buried deep dark secrets you want to get off your chests? Cos you know what they say," he added, grinning over at the pair of them, "confession is good for the soul and all that."

"Oh no," Jac quickly interjected, "I'm not that stupid! And neither," she said, looking over at her, "is Jil, are you?"

"No," Jil agreed quickly, and smiling at Jac. "No, apparently I'm not."

"Oh come on girls," Jonny argued, "you know you want to really, and you can trust us you know."

Before Jac had a chance to answer him her bleeper went off. "Saved by the bell," she remarked almost to herself, before saying as she got up, "Sorry, I need to go – it's ITU".

"Of course yeah" Jil said, watching her friend walk to the door.

"Thanks for lunch," Jac called back before she disappeared from view.

"Bye," Daniel and Jil chorused in unison after her. Before Daniel continued, "And anyway, I don't know why you're feeling so guilty about Rob – wasn't he the one who told you that bees were furry and liked to be stroked when you were small."

"Really!" Jonny interjected, "now that is evil. And did you believe him?"

Jil nodded, "Oh yes, I did, and I had the sting in my arm to prove it."

"Ouch," Jonny said.

"Yep, and the stupid thing was I just couldn't understand why it had done it. And then Rob made it even worse by 'accidentally' letting slip that stinging me meant the bee would die. Think I was more upset about that than about getting stung – I cried for ages. It's one of my strongest memories from then – me sitting on my dad's knee sobbing into his shirt, and I was determined that we should try and find it just in case it wasn't dead, just hurt somewhere. And my dad, bless him, he helped me look you know, after he'd sorted the sting out and kissed me better, we spent _ages_ in the garden. Hmm," Jil said, smiling, gazing out of the window and absentmindedly stroking her bump, "the things people do for their kids eh." Before, with a noticeable shake of her head she tore her gaze away from outside and focussed her attention on the two men in her room once more, and smiling at them both continued. "But you know I think I'm coming round to your way of thinking more and more – survival of the fittest and all that. Plus, Rob probably did deserve it – for the bee thing if nothing else. I mean, Jonny, you never told your sisters anything like that did you?"

"Nooo," Jonny said, "but probably only because I never thought of it. And anyway, two of my sisters are older so they'd never have believed me anyway. Mind you, I did once tell our Isla that there was a little man in the fridge that kept a note for the tooth fairy of what everyone ate, and that he was the one who turned the light on when you opened the door. She wouldn't go near it for weeks after that."

"Jonny!" Jil scolded

"I reckon it must have been around Christmas time, or maybe Easter," Jonny said, "and I was after eating all her chocolate as well as my own."

"That's awful," Jil said, trying not to smile.

"But at least she didn't get hurt," Jonny defended himself, "and she got over it eventually. And it probably did her good, not eating chocolate for a wee while anyway."

"Hmm," Jil replied unconvinced. "Grief, brothers are awful, aren't they?"

"I wouldn't know," Jonny replied, sounding slightly wistful, "but let me tell you sisters can be nightmares too."

"And as the only person who actually has both, although granted Jil, Jac might as well be your sister, I can in fact confirm" Daniel said, "that they can all be right royal pains in the old proverbial."

"Mmm, I suppose so" Jil conceded, "and I wouldn't be without Rob now, probably not then either… most of the time. Even if he did make me stroke a bee!" she concluded smiling

"And I suppose it wasn't all bad," Jonny said, "growing up with a load of sisters. Meant there were always loads of girls around the house at any rate. Some of my friends were soooo jealous, you'd think they'd never seen a girl before the way they used to go on when they came…." He was interrupted by the sound of a mobile phone, which Daniel rushed to extract from his jacket pocket,

"Is that..?" Jil started to ask.

"No, it's mine" he said looking down at the screen. "I'll take it off the ward," he said glancing guiltily over at Jonny and getting up hurriedly.

"Tell them there's no need for them to come all the way down," Jil said as walked towards the door, continuing to his retreating back, "Apart from anything else Jac doesn't have the room."

"Now _that _reminds me" Jonny said. "Why didn't you tell me Daniel was Scottish?"

"Didn't I?" Jil asked, as Jonny shook his head. "Are you sure?" Jonny nodded. "Oh," she said sounding genuinely surprised "I don't know. I suppose it just mustn't have come up. Although I did mention my propensity for tall, dark, handsome Scottish men, and I definitely told you how much I liked a Celtic lilt. I tell you, when I met Daniel it was very nearly a 'Jerry Maguire' moment." Noticing the look of complete incomprehension on Jonny's face, she explained, disbelievingly. "He had me at hello – well practically anyway. Jeez Jonny, 'The Sound of Music' and 'Jerry Maguire' I can see Jac's going to have to watch some films with you."

"It's Tom Cruise" Jonny said, "I just don't like him. He's all teeth!"

"Yes his smile is something else and he does have some very strange views on mental health," Jil replied, "but he has made some good films. You'll not have seen 'Magnolia' either then?" Jonny shook his head, "Now that's a good film, although he's playing completely against type in that. And then there's 'Top Gun' obviously, and Mission Impossible – I like all those as well, but 2's my favourite. I like Thandie Newton you see, and then there's Dougray Scott…another tall dark handsome Celt – mmm, there's definitely a theme" she concluded smiling.

"So, there's still hope for me then?" Jonny joked

"Nah" Jil replied, grinning, "Even I wouldn't try stealing Jac's boyfriend – not after what she did to Tasmin Archer. And she'll have honed her skills since then no doubt..uhh it doesn't bear thinking about!"

"Who's Tasmin Archer?" Jonny asked intrigued.

"Someone who should have known better than to come on to Jac's boyfriend at the end of year disco."

"And what did Jac do? She didn't hit her did she?"

"Oh no," Jil said emphatically, "nothing as prosaic as that. Let's just say it was lucky for her that there was the six week holiday for everybody to forget what had happened, and leave it at that, shall we?"

"Oh, OK" he replied, although from the expression on his face it was obvious he still had questions he'd love to ask. "But can you just te…" He was interrupted by a loud crash from the ward, closely followed by what sounded like china smashing, "What the…" he said, getting up, before they both heard Jac's unmistakeably annoyed voice saying,

"For goodness sake Dr Lo – how big does the tea trolley have to be for you not to walk into it? And who left it here in the first place anyway? Does no-one here have the sense they were born with?"

"I think that's my cue," Jonny said. "Better get out there before she does a 'Tasmin Archer' on somebody. Wow," he said, after a quick glance at his watch, "it really is time for me to leave – my shift starts in five minutes. How on earth did that happen? Is there anything you need before I go?" he asked as he walked over to the door.

"No," Jil replied, "not right now, but would you be able to get me some paper at some point please?"

"Paper?" Jonny repeated, looking quizzically back at her from the doorway.

"Mmmhmm" she replied, "I've used all the stuff I had and I've still got some things to write. It doesn't have to be good paper though – if you've got any one-sided print-outs or anything like that, they'd be fine."

"Ok, I'll see what I can do," he said. "Thanks for sorting out lunch – we'll have to do it again sometime."

"That'd be great," Jil said, "See you later then. Bye"

"Bye –I'll get you that paper soon," Jonny assured just before, after smiling at her, he turned and walked away from the room.

Leaving Jil, for the first time since that morning, awake and alone in her room. Not that she expected that state of affairs to last long – Daniel would be back soon, and no doubt Jac and probably Jonny would be popping in every so often and her parents couldn't be too much longer either. 'Better enjoy the peace and quiet whilst it lasts then,' Jil thought and pushing the bed table out of the way snuggled down into the bed and closed her eyes to do just that.


	23. Coming Home

**Apologies for the ridiculously long interval between updating this - I've been having laptop trouble (it's now an ex-laptop) and as a consequence am having to write everything long-hand and have very limited internet access. Still, better late than never. I hope you enjoy it, and as ever please, please review - I really do like to know what people think...**

* * *

_Wednesday afternoon, Holby City Hospital_

_Darwin_

Jonny exited Bay 2 and glancing up the ward saw a couple enter through the doors. He realised who they must be - the resemblance was just too striking to be coincidental - and set off to meet them as they came down the corridor. "You must be Jil's parents," he said, realising that he had no idea what Jil's maiden name had been.

"Yes, that's right," the woman responded, a slight questioning tone to her voice.

Recognising this, Jonny explained, "Oh, I'm Jonny" and held his hand out for her to shake.

"Jac's Jonny?" she replied, and when he nodded, put down the bag she was carrying, and spurned the hand he was holding out to her, instead enveloping him in a hug. "Jil's told us so much about you and how happy you're making Jac. It's really good to meet you at last." she said, beaming as she released him

"Yes," the man beside her said, holding out his hand to Jonny, "it's so good to finally have a face to put to a name now. Jil's said such a lot about you."

"All good I hope?" Jonny asked as their handshake finished.

"Exemplary!" Jil's mum replied, "although she was a little concerned that you might be working too hard. How is she, by the way?"

"Well," Jonny replied carefully, "she's gone down for some more tests..Totally routine" he quickly reassured them, noticing the concern in their faces, "and hopefully they'll give us a better idea. But she is getting the best possible care here, as you'd expect with Jac on the case. Speaking of whom, she is on the ward somewhere, so if you'd like to take a seat here," he said, leading them over to the comfy chair corner of the ward, "I'll go and see if I can find her for you."

"Oh right, thank you." Jil's mum said, "and you'll let us know if Jil comes back in the meantime?"

"Of course." Jonny assured her, before setting off to try and find Jac - a not unwelcome task.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jac approached the nurse's station but before she reached it was distracted by the sound of two very familiar voices, and began to smile even before she saw the people they belonged to. Jac supposed that most people would find it odd that, even before Paula had left, the place that she had felt most like herself was somebody else's house. But that it how it was for her - Jil's house had always felt more like home than her own house ever could. And it had taken her a long time, much longer, she was sure than it would have taken most children, to realise that it was nothing to do with the house itself. That the building itself did not possess, as she had once thought, magical powers. That the reason she felt like she could breathe more easily as soon as she stepped through the gate of the Santini's front garden, was the people who lived there. The people who offered her, unlike Paula, a sense of constancy - that she could count on them to be there for her, whatever she did, however she was. Throughout her childhood and beyond, and perhaps most when Paula had left, the Santini's home, and more precisely the Santini's, had been her sanctuary, her safe haven. And it was for this reason that, even under these circumstances, when she saw Mr and Mrs Santini (as she always thought of them, no matter how many times they told her to call them Tony and Rosa) Jac felt a sense of relief, of coming home

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Jac!" Jonny heard a male voice exclaim as he rounded the corner and realised that his search for Jac was no longer necessary as she had, it would seem, found Jil's parents. He looked on as she was enveloped in a hug, first by Jil's dad and then her mum, and marvelled at how her normally so strict rules about public displays of affection didn't seem to apply to anyone who was connected to Jil. It was strange for him to see her so at ease with it, but strange in a good way he decided, and in a way he hoped one day to be able to emulate with her himself. 'That's something to work towards, a goal to aim for' he thought to himself, determinedly. "Patience and persistence, patience and persistence' he repeated to himself, remembering Jil's advice.

"_She_ found us," Jil's mum said, noticing Jonny as she finally released Jac.

"So I see," Jonny commented. Before continuing, noticing the slight look of confusion on Jac's face. "I went to look for you, to tell you they'd arrived."

"Oh right," Jac replied, "so you've been introduced then?"

"Yes, well...sort of."

"Which means what exactly?"

"Well, they know I'm your Jonny and I guessed they were Jil's parents, but I haven't been officially introduced" he tried to explain.

"Right," Jac said, her expression making it clear how unimpressed she was with his explanation, "well that's as clear as mud then!"

"I think," Jil's mum interrupted, trying to help Jonny out "what he means is that we know his name but he doesn't know ours. Right?" she asked, smiling over at him.

He nodded gratefully, returning her smile and wondering how, even after all this time, Jac still seemed to have the power to turn his thoughts to mush before saying, "That's it exactly."

"Well why didn't you just say that then?" Jac asked exasperatedly, before continuing, "Oh never mind, I don't suppose it matters really. And I suppose I'd better do the honours - Jonny this is Tony and Rosa Santini - Jil's parents. And this idiot" she continued, smiling affectionately at him, "is Jonathon Maconie - Jonny, who I'm betting you've heard all about from Jil.

"Oh yes," Rosa said definitely, "she hasn't really stopped talking about him since she got home after visiting you last time."

"And I expect it was all good?' Jac asked, to which Rosa nodded. "Nothing about his idiocy and general annoyingness, then?" she continued, smiling across at Jonny again to neutralise her words.

"No, nothing about that," Rosa agreed.

"Well I suppose she doesn't know you as well as I do," Jac said, addressing Jonny. "And she's always been a sucker for a Scottish accent, so maybe that's understandable.

"How is Jil?" Tony asked, 'Jonny said she'd gone for some more tests."

"That's completely normal." Jac said, giving Jonny one of her looks as she said it.

"Jonny told us that," Rosa interrupted hurriedly, trying to diffuse the tension that had suddenly arisen. 'Totally routine' he said".

"Yes, that's right," Jac said relaxing again, "she's gone down for a more detailed ultrasound than we can do on the ward, and for a stress echo too. And they're just to help us get a more complete picture of what's going on with her heart at the moment."

"And what is going on with it Jac?" Rosa asked, more than a hint of anxiety evident in her voice.

"Well, if you can just hang on for a minute I'll go and get Elliott - Professor Hope - and we can explain it to you together, if that's OK with you?"

"Yes, of course," Tony said, but the uncertainty in his voice belied his words.

"It's just" Jac, hearing this, explained, "he's the one who's in actual charge of her case, and who'll be doing the operation, so it's probably best if he's here too. That way you hear everything straight from the horses mouth, you see?"

"Yes, of course," Rosa said, taking her husband's hand in hers "we understand perfectly. Honestly"

"It's just..." Tony began

"I know" Jac said softly, "you have no idea how much I wish I was doing the op."

"Oh Jac," Rosa said definitely, "of course we do!" And with her free hand she caught one of Jac's and gave it a comforting squeeze, repeating as she did this. "Of course we do..." Before, after a short pause, continuing, "so we'll wait here whilst you go and find Professor Hope. Yes?"

"Yes," Jac said, grateful for the opportunity Rosa had given to her to think about practicalities again, "Do you want a drink or something?" she asked.

"Oh, a cup of tea would be lovely" Rosa replied.

"Jonny, could you..?" Jac asked.

"Of course," he replied, "how do you take it."

"White, no sugar, not too strong" she said

"And for you Tony?" Jonny asked.

"A strong black coffee, one sugar please."

"Coming right up" Jonny said, wheeling around and heading off towards the kitchen area.

Jac fell into step beside him and said, totally unexpectedly, well at least to him, "_**My**_ Jonny?"

He stopped to look at her and saw the quizzical expression she had perfected well, "_They_ said it not me," he said quickly, "And what's wrong with it anyway?"

"Did I say something was wrong with it?" Jac replied, totally wrong-footing him, before bamboozling him further by stealing a kiss before she walked off towards her office to find Elliott, looking back just once and smiling her best 'knew that would surprise you' smile.


	24. Visitors

**Oh lordy - can't believe its been over a month since I last updated this - sorry! Hope it was worth the wait for anyone who is still reading this - as ever enjoy, and please review.**

* * *

_Wednesday afternoon, Darwin_

Jonny looked up from the computer to see Arthur wheeling Jil back into the side room closely followed by Daniel. He stood up intending to let them know that her parents had arrived but was stopped by the call bell going off. After settling Mr Gillies back in to bed after taking him for a comfort break he saw Daniel leave Jil's room and head off the ward. He set off for Jil's room once again, before, remembering her earlier request, returning to the nurse's station and picking up a pile of paper before finally making his way over to the side room. The door was half open but he knocked and waited anyway.

"Come in," Jil said, looking expectantly towards the door and when Jonny walked in smiling over at him.

Once again finding her smile irresistible Jonny returned it before saying, "I just thought I'd tell you, your parents have arrived. They're in with Jac and Elliott at the moment, but I'll let them know you're back as soon as they're done.

"Oh right, thanks," Jil replied, worry clouding her face.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Jonny asked concerned.

"Oh, they're going to be **so** worried Jonny," she answered. "I mean, I know they have to know but….._it's just __**not**__ fair_! They've done all this so many times before and I just wish it wasn't happening again."

"It's not your fault," Jonny said, "and they'll only worry so much because they love you so much – which has got to be a good thing, right?" And noticing a small smile appear on Jil's face as she nodded in agreement, he continued. "And speaking of people who love you so much – where'd Daniel go?"

"Phone call," Jil replied, "some work thing or other. Just between you and me I'm not that convinced he was being entirely truthful when he said that he wouldn't be their go-to man anymore. Cos they still seem to be coming to him a lot at the moment."

"So you mean," Jonny said, "we might all be treated to some more of your leftovers at some point in the future."

"Well, that's one way of looking at it I suppose," Jil replied. "Although at the moment I'm a bit more concerned that he'll be getting out of getting up in the middle of the night. But I suppose I can always make him do two nights on the trot when he's back, if he goes anywhere at all that is."

"Ouch," Jonny said, "that's a bit harsh isn't it?"

"You think?" Jil asked, raising her eyebrows in a way that reminded him so much of Jac. "He gets to sleep in a comfy hotel bed for a whole weekend, if not more, of blissfully uninterrupted sleep, whilst I'm doing all the night time feeds on my own, or at least whilst he's not there."

"Well, when you put it like that I suppose you may have a point," Jonny conceded. "I best get back, but I've got that paper you asked for," he said, putting down the wodge of paper he'd been holding. "I wasn't sure how much you needed, but I can get more if you want it."

"Oh no," Jil said glancing at the pile, "that should be plenty, thanks." Then, after looking at it more closely, she asked uncertainly. "Are you sure it's ok for me to use this?"

"Oh yeah, it's fine" Jonny replied confidently.

"But" Jil persisted, picking up the top sheet from the pile to show him, "it's headed."

"Oh yes, but we're a _foundation_ trust now, so that header isn't valid anymore. We've got a stack of that to use up in the store cupboard – they never seem to think about things like that when they do these things."

"Tell me about it," Jil agreed. "I've got a huge pack of compliment slips that were useless to us when our service moved. Although they're great for shopping lists," she continued "so maybe it's not all bad. Thanks for this though."

"Nay bother," Jonny replied preparing to leave before asking, his curiosity getting the better of him, "What do you need it for anyway? What are you writing?"

There was a pause as Jil seemed to consider her answer, as if deciding how much to reveal to him. Before, with an almost imperceptible nod of her head, she answered "Letters."

"Letters?" Jonny repeated.

"Mmm," Jil replied, continuing very quietly so that Jonny had to strain to hear her. "You know 'just in case' letters for everyone – Daniel, my parents, Jac….everyone - you know." And Jonny saw tears glistening in her eyes before she blinked them away, and smiled determinedly up at him. "Letters and instructions," she continued, "telling them what I want if, if…"

"Oh Jil," Jonny exclaimed, crossing the room again and grabbing her hand. "I'm sorry I asked now. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's fine," Jil said, "I mean, let's face it, it's the last thing they're going to want to think about isn't it? And besides," she continued, "I know _exactly_ what I want, right down to my preferred epitaph, and it's only right that I should get what I want isn't it?"

"You know what you want on your gravestone?" Jonny asked

"Of course," Jil replied. Before continuing, " 'Well loved. Much missed.' Because realistically who could ever want more than that?"

"Well no," Jonny replied, "I suppose it does pretty much sum up what most people would want." ('And' as he reflected later when he thought about this particular exchange on his way home that night, 'that she'd want that for her epitaph, sums up Jil pretty well too.')

"But" Jil said hurriedly, hearing her parent's voices through the half open door, "you mustn't tell anyone what I'm doing. I don't want them worrying….Sorry," she said smiling apologetically at him, "another secret for you to keep."

"Hey, it's fine," Jonny said, giving her hand one final squeeze before standing up and heading over to the door. He opened it fully just as Jil's parents, with Jac following closely behind, reached it. He stood back to let them pass and glancing back at Jil saw her put her finger to her lips as she looked back at him before turning on one of her 1000 watt beams as her parents reached her.

"Skiving again Maconie?" Jac asked as he waited for her to enter the room.

"Just on my way Miss Naylor," he replied smiling before, as she passed him, catching her hand in his and raising it to his lips, kissing it gently before releasing it and walking back on to the ward. He didn't need to look back to know what Jac's expression would be, but did so anyway. And was rewarded with one of her looks which as he watched he saw transformed by a tiny smile, before she turned into the room and disappeared from view.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Late Wednesday afternoon, Darwin Side Room 1_

There was a knock on Jil's door and, as she broke off her conversation with her mum, Elliott bustled in. "I'm sorry" he said to the people surrounding her bed, "but I just need to do some routine checks with Jil before I leave for the day."

"Would it be easier if we left then?" Daniel asked, standing up as he did so.

"Erm….yes, probably. I've got some students who I'd like to come in, if that's ok with you?" he said addressing Jil

"Oh yes, of course," she answered

"So it might get a bit crowded in here," he continued. "But I wouldn't want to chase you away, obviously."

"No, no it's ok," Daniel said, helping Rosa from her seat, "I'll go and show your mum and dad the peace garden and then you can text me when you're done. Ok?"

"Ok," Jil said smiling as she inclined her head slightly to receive the kiss he placed gently on her forehead. She watched as Daniel and her parents left the room before directing her attention at Elliott who looked at her appraisingly before saying

"I should have known there was more to your knowledge of the workings of the human heart than you just having absorbed it all from Jac."

"Yes, sorry about that," Jil said. "I wasn't trying to intentionally mislead you, it's just I wasn't all that keen on going in to all that, well this," she explained, indicating her heart, "then. Sorry."

"Oh no, it's quite alright," Elliott said. "I can imagine it wouldn't really be something you'd want to dwell on too much."

"No, not really," Jil agreed, continuing with a wry smile "but sometimes the universe just seems determined to shout your secrets out to the world with a loud hailer. And, in my defence, I was Jac's study buddy for the majority of her exams, and I used to sit with her for hours when she was practicing on pig hearts in the wet lab, so some of my knowledge definitely comes from that."

"Study buddies, eh?" Elliott said. "You must be brave – I can't say I'd fancy that job."

"Ah, it was ok really. I just had to read the text books and make sure she got everything right, which she invariably did. And she did the same for me when I had my exams – she's probably forgotten more about qualitative research methods than most psychology students know. Speaking of which, is there anything specific you want me to do with these students of yours?"

"Well, I do want to test their diagnostic abilities so, if you could just answer the questions they ask without adding any helpful details, that'd be great."

"Right, got it – short and sweet," Jil said smiling.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Elliott and his medical students had just left (one of them, Barbara, having, to what Jil suspected was Elliott's delight, correctly diagnosed her) and she was preparing to send an 'all clear' text to Daniel when there was another gentle knock at her door. 'Wow, you are popular today,' she thought to herself, before calling out once again "Come in," and turning her attention to the door saw Tara come through it. "Hey" she said smiling.

"Hey," Tara answered, "sorry to disturb you. I just wondered if you'd mind me having a word with you."

"No, not at all" Jil replied, still smiling. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Well, it's just I'm involved in Professor Hope's Hertzig trial and so obviously I've done lots of research on it."

'Obviously,' though Jil to herself, remembering Jac's description of and all she had told her about her F1.

"and I think, from looking through your notes that I've read about you?"

"Well, it's a distinct possibility," Jil answered. " 'Spontaneous recovery of cardiac function after temporary insertion of the Holtmann 360-O Assistive Device: A case study'. British Journal of Cardiac Surgery. Yes, that's me. S.A.J. – they just reversed my initials to anonymize me. I was still a Sanitni then you see."

"I can't believe it," Tara said. "I can't believe that I've actually met you."

"Well," Jil said, beginning to see what Jac meant, "I suppose it is _a _claim to fame. Although, I think I'd rather be well known for being Mrs Clooney, but beggars can't be choosers I don't suppose, right?

"Right," Tara replied, although she didn't sound too sure. "So, do you mind if I ask you a few questions about it? It'd be _really_ helpful."

"No, of course not," Jil replied, "a **few** questions will be fine." And so saying she put her phone down and prepared herself for 'Miss Eager Beaver's' interrogation.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Wednesday evening, Darwin Side Room 1_

"What are you doing?" Jac asked as she came into Jil's room.

"Eating my tea," Jil replied.

"Hah, ha," Jac said, "I can see that. I was talking about that," she continued, pointing at the headphones that were placed over Jil's bump.

"Oh these," Jil said fingering the wire that led to an I-pod, "they're for the bump music."

"Bump music?" Jac repeated.

"Yes, you play the baby music in the womb with the idea being that it will make an association between the two things and you can then use it to calm them when they're born."

"Right."

No, really," Jil said earnestly. "I saw it on 'Child of Our Time' and it really worked for some of them. And it doesn't matter what music you use either, it doesn't have to be all quiet and lullaby like. I think one of the mums on there used a 5 song – you know one of their upbeat ones."

"And it really worked?" Jac asked the disbelief still evident in her voice.

"Mm hmm – calmed the baby down when he, or it might have been a she, was crying ever so quickly. And it kept working too."

"Ok, so assuming this isn't just something you've made up, what song have you chosen then?"

"Guess!" Jil replied, continuing "remembering that it has to be something I've got to be happy to listen to a lot as well, and Daniel too."

There was a pause as Jac thought and then she said, "Oh it's not….oh no I think I'm going to need a sick bowl. It is, isn't it?"

"Of course it is!" Jil asserted, "what else was it going to be?"

"I can't believe you" Jac said, shuddering theatrically.

"Oh," Jil said amused, "but that's not the best bit!"

"You mean it gets worse?"

"We had to have something in case we couldn't actually access anything to play the music on, so there's a recording of us singing on here too."

"Ughh, ughh now that is really too much" Jac said, her face a picture of mock disgust. "You and Daniel singing your first dance song together – I really do need that sick bowl now."

"Oh, no, no no – we're not singing that! We couldn't possibly hope to even begin to compare to good old Ben E. No, we're singing different songs."

"Dare I ask what?"

"Well there's the first verse of 'You are my sunshine' which we both each sing once and then together. And then there's another song – you probably won't have heard of it and we had to change the words a bit but its called 'Father and Daughter' by Paul Simon. We both sing the whole song and then repeat the chorus a few times" and she began to very quietly sing _"I'm gonna watch you shine, gonna watch you grow, gonna paint a sign so you'll always know as long as one and one is two there could never be a mother loves her child more than I love you". _Although obviously the words of the actual song are father loves his daughter, but because we don't know what Robin is we had to change it to fit."

"I'd forgotten how well you can sing when you put your mind to it" Jac said.

"All those years in the school choir paid off you see – told you they'd come in handy one day didn't I?" Jil replied

"Yep – I'm not sure they'll ever be particularly useful to me but...And anyway what happens when the baby's born – are you going to just change to the right gender or what?"

"Well yes obviously when we're singing it ourselves we will, but we've got the recordings sorted too."

"Oh yeah?" Jac asked curiously.

"Yes, you know Daniel's friend James, from uni. The one whose dad's…"

"got more money than sense." Jac finished for her.

"Yeah – him. Well, because he's a musician and because his dad's got more money than sense, he's got a studio in his back garden. A proper studio – with a recording booth and everything – you know all those little buttons you push up and down. And we recorded us singing there, so we were able to do different versions, so when Robin's born we can just switch the one we're using at the moment for the one which says the right thing – son or daughter. Nifty, eh"

"Mmm, but what if Robin notices the difference and won't settle down because it's not what he or she is used to hearing. Then all your schemes will be for nothing" Jac teased.

"Jac, I know you're expecting any baby of mine to be highly intelligent like its mother" Jil said, playing along "and father" she added quickly "but I'm sure not even our baby will be able to pick up on one word that's changed in a whole song."

"I wouldn't be so sure" Jac said.

"Well if that is the case, we'll just have to make sure we're never without some way of playing 'Stand By Me' and rely on Ben E. to do all the work for us. See," she added triumphantly, "all bases covered!"

"Yeah, until there's a power cut and your i-pod's out of battery." Jac said smirking.

"Trust you to think of something li…"

"Hey what's going on here?" a voice interrupted them. "Miss Naylor, this is a protected mealtime and you know patients aren't allowed visitors at these times."

"Ha, ha Jonny, very f.."

"You're not meant to be sitting on the bed either. And it's _Nurse Maconie_." Jonny continued

"I'll give you Nurse Maconie" Jac replied, glaring at Jonny and resolutely refusing to move off the bed. But Jonny returned her look and, very unusually, it was Jac whose resolve broke first, and she sulkily exclaimed. "Fine, I'll go then" and exaggeratedly stood up, before turning her back on Jonny she continued. "I've got to get home soon anyway – sort everything out before your parents arrive"

"Are you sure it's alright for them to stay with you?" Jil asked, "I mean, you've got Daniel there already, are you sure your flat's big enough?"

"Of course it is," Jac said, "and even if it wasn't, I'd make room. I'm not having your parents stay in a hotel and that's an end to it." She finished in a tone that brooked no argument. Jonny cleared his throat. "Yes, _Nurse Maconie," _Jac said dangerously, still deliberately not looking at him. "I'm going. I'll see you tomorrow," she continued addressing Jil before bending down to give her a hug, "you take care of yourself till them, do you hear me?"

"Yes boss, loud and clear" Jil said smiling.

"OK then, bye" she said smiling down at her friend before turning and fixing Jonny with a look which made him wonder if he might have misjudged the situation and gone a wee bit too far.

"Yeah, bye" Jil said, desperately trying to suppress a smile as she watched Jonny's changing expression, determined as she was not to spoil what she knew Jac was doing. She watched as Jac stalked towards Jonny and saw him edging ever so slightly towards the door the closer she got, and actually flinch when she drew level with him. And then she saw Jac quickly lean over and kiss him ever so gently before she walked through the doorway, calling out

"Bye Jonny" as she did so. And Jil didn't need to see her best friend's face to know that she would be wearing a triumphant smile on it.

"She got you good!" she remarked to an obviously relieved and rather bemused Jonny.

"Oh yes," he agreed, watching Jac as she walked down the corridor to her office, "she did that, she did that."

* * *

**Also, am still trying to find out which episode it was that Jac won mentor of the year in for the reviewer who asked. It's annoying because I've watched it recently on you tube but can't for the life of me remember what it was called - am still working on it though.**


	25. Fading Flower?

**Firstly, a massive thank you to everyone (and there were many of you) who supplied the name of Jac's mentor of the year episode. And just in case the person who asked hasn't seen the answer yet it was called 'Awarded' and was the Valentine's Day episode from last year. (I just hope I've got the right episode now and it wasn't all a wild goose chase!)**

**Secondly, to the person who asked: Arthur (this Arthur) isn't Digby, he's the bald, really friendly looking porter you quite often see hovering around in the background on Darwin. He was there when Jonny was singing 'I have a dream' in the 'slap-gate' episode, and I know his name's Arthur because Jac mentioned it in the episode where hr endo pains first reared their ugly head (the one with the pregnant nurse who didn't want to be because she thought it would betray her dead son - ?Not Aaron) Sorry for any confusion.**

**And thirdly, sorry but this update feels a bit stilted to me and I don't think it really flows that well either. But it was the only way I could think of to move the story on without getting bogged down in lots and lots of conversations. It's also very short compared to some of the chapters. Having said all that please enjoy as much as you can, and review if you'd like to. (And chapter 26 is looking better so it's not all bad)**

* * *

_Thursday morning_

Jil's condition had deteriorated overnight. She had rung the call bell at just before four complaining of feeling unwell and had then been sick several times. Her obs had been all over the place and Gwen had decided that they needed a doctor so had sent Sylvie to get Oliver from the on-call room. Which was just as well because not long after he had appeared, bleary-eyed in her room to be met by Jil apologising for having woken him, she'd had a bradycardic episode like the one she'd had in AAU and it had been all hands on deck for a few minutes. A shot of atropine and over ten minutes of breathing 100% oxygen through a mask later she was looking slightly better, but her stats still weren't stable and Oli was concerned that they were losing the battle against the fluid-overloading they'd been fighting since she was admitted. Jil was more concerned about the baby, however, so he'd had to use one of the portable ultrasound scanners to prove to her that, at least for the minute, Robin had a strong heartbeat. And then, when all that was done, and Jil was resting in her room – her obs slowly starting to return to something approaching normal levels – they had to face the even bigger challenge of telling Jac what had happened. There was never a question of whether they should tell her – they all knew that she'd want to know, that she'd told them they had to tell her if anything changed and that she could make their working lives a living hell if they didn't – but how and when was debated between them for some time. And they decided that they couldn't wait to tell her till she might be awake – that she'd want to know as soon as she could, so Oli made the call….

And in the quiet of Jac's living room, her mobile buzzed but it was the vibrations which woke her, shaking her from her slumber on the sofa bed and causing her to sit up abruptly and pick it up gingerly as if it was a bomb. And when she saw the number her heart sank further and she was filled with dread, so that her hand shook slightly as she pressed the button to accept the call. And Oli explained, after first emphasising that Jil was ok for now, what had happened and what they had done. And Jac, who was acutely aware of Daniel sleeping on a hastily bought blow-up mattress a few feet from her, whispered a few questions, and after seeking final reassurance that Jil was definitely stabilising now, signed off by saying that she'd be in within the next hour. She somehow managed, after finishing the call, to resist her natural instinct to phone Jonny. Stopping herself just before she pressed the call button on the number she'd automatically brought up on her phone, when she remembered that he was doing a long day today and had been on a late shift yesterday. And then she sat staring into space clutching her phone, still open on Jonny's number and his photo, for a few moments before, after gently stroking his picture, she got it back to the home screen and put it down. Then she quietly got up and crossing over to the kitchen put the kettle on and got four cups out, determined that there would be a pot of tea ready for everyone, to help get them through. Remembering the Santini saying 'There's nothing a cup of tea can't make a little bit better' as she located her teapot and put the teabags in.

And when the tea was made she told, first Daniel and then Rosa and Tony about the phone call. And, even though they all managed to remain outwardly calm, Jac knew that inside they were all panicking, as she was. So it was that within just over half an hour they were all ready to go. Then just as Daniel had opened the front door, Jac, perfectly rationally to her mind but to everybody else inexplicably, stopped to make sure that all the flowers in the flat had enough water, refusing to leave until she'd checked each and every one of the vases, topping up those that needed it.

"What's she doing?" Rosa whispered to Tony, who just shook his head.

"Come on Jac," Daniel called out, exchanging a puzzled look with his in-laws, before continuing. "That can wait sweetheart, we need to go."

Only to be left even more confused by Jac's fierce declaration of, "No, they can't die – I've got to keep them alive! I'll just be a minute."

"But Jac" Daniel started, before Rosa put a hand on his arm and looking at her he saw her shake her head

"It's obviously something she needs to do Dan" she said, "like me praying my rosary" she continued, holding up the beads that had been concealed in her other hand. "Let's just let her get on with it, eh, I'm sure it won't take long."

"But Jil…" Daniel began

"Jil wouldn't want Jac upset" Rosa stated simply, and Daniel knowing that that, if nothing else was true, bit his tongue and waited impatiently, but without saying another word, for Jac to finish what she was doing.


	26. Some Kind of Miracle

**Hi Peeps. Another chapter with some Jac/Jonny-ness to cheer us all up after this week's episode! Enjoy, and as ever please review..**

* * *

_Thursday morning, Darwin_

"She's sleeping," Oli exclaimed as loudly as he dared, as he saw Jac and Daniel, closely followed by Jil's parents approaching the nurse's station down the corridor. He had decided to wait for their arrival rather than heading back to the on-call room because he knew that Jac would want to speak to him and reasoned that the conversation would be easier if he hadn't just woken up. "For about the last 20 minutes or so," he said, glancing at Gwen who nodded in confirmation.

"And her obs?" Jac asked, as she reached the counter.

"Well they're better than they were," Oli said, "but her heart rate is still slow, and her blood pressure's a little high. We've been doing them every 10 minutes and they have been steadily improving though," he continued, handing Jac the folder he'd removed from the bottom of Jil's bed.

"That's good," Jac said, addressing Daniel, Tony and Rosa. "You see," she said, showing them that morning's record, "they're all going in the right direction." And she smiled at them, hoping that she sounded and looked more confident than she felt. "You can have a closer look if you want," she continued, handing Daniel the folder.

"I've got some fresh bloods, the lab's fast tracking the results, and I've requested an urgent cardiac ultrasound – she's first on the list. And there's also an MRI slot being held for her if she needs it too." Oli added.

"Thanks," Jac said, glancing at him. "Have you got her notes?"

"Erm….yes" he said, as Gwen handed them to her, "we've written everything up so.."

"Yeah, I can see," Jac said distractedly, as she read through the accounts of the morning's events. "And the time she buzzed, that was the first sign there was anything wrong?"

"Yep," Gwen answered, "when we did her obs at half three everything was stable. Well, I mean you can see" she continued, indicating the folder that Daniel had just replaced on the counter.

"Jac," Rosa said quietly, "is it ok if we just pop in to see her. We won't wake her up, or stay too long but I just want to see her. Would that be OK?"

"I'm sure that'd be fine" Jac said, seeking confirmation from Oli and Gwen.

"Yeah, of course," Gwen stated. "You can come in with me. I'm due to do her obs now anyway." And so saying she stood up and after picking up Jil's folder walked out of the nurse's station towards the side room, followed by Daniel and Jil's parents.

Jac watched them go before Oli caught her attention saying, "Erm, well if there's nothing else I thought I might try and get a couple more hours sleep if I can. Tara wants me to help her study after work tonight and there's some stuff I have to get done today so,"

"Oh yes, yes of course," Jac said, "Go!"

"Thanks." Oli said, smiling appreciatively at her as he stood up, before adding, concern evident in his voice, "looks like you could do with a few more hours sleep too. You've got to look after yourself as well you know."

"What? No, I'm fine." Jac said, waving his concerns away. "Really I am," she repeated as he exited the nurse's station

"Hmmm," was Oli's only comment on that before he yawned loudly. "Well, think that's my cue," he said smiling, as he turned in the direction of the on-call room and headed off, before turning back he added. "If you're not going to get anymore sleep, you can at least sit down,"

"Mmm, that's not such a bad idea" Jac said, moving into the nurse's station and sitting down. "Satisfied?"

"Well, it'll have to do I suppose," Oli said, before starting off towards the on-call room again, calling out as he did so. "See you when I wake up."

Jac watched until he disappeared from sight and then sat forward with her head in her hands. She stayed like this until she heard some movement on the ward and looking up saw Gwen, followed by Daniel, Rosa and Tony, leaving Jil's room. "How's she doing?" she asked

"Her blood pressure's just come back in to the normal range," Gwen answered, "and her heart rate's stable."

"Great!" Jac said, again with more confidence than she felt, "that's good then isn't it?" she continued smiling over at the group. "Well I suppose as Jil's room is out of bounds for the minute, I'd better find you somewhere else to set up camp," she said, getting up. "How does a bit more time in the comfy chair corner sound to everyone?" And when there were no objections she led them towards this part of the ward. "Does anyone want a drink?" she asked. "Know I could kill for another coffee, so does anybody else want anything whilst I'm making mine….?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You should have called me!"

Jac looked up from the article she was reading but paying no attention to, to see Jonny standing at her office door. "I didn't want to wake you," she replied.

"You should have called" he repeated.

"It was quarter to five Jonny," Jac explained, "and you're doing a long day today."

"That doesn't matter"

"It did to me," she stated simply

"Ok, ok" Jonny said, realising this was another one of those battles his gran had warned him about. "That aside, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine...No really I am," she insisted, seeing the look on Jonny's face. "It's not me we should be worrying about anyway. Jil's the one who's ill. Is she still asleep by the way?" she asked.

"She was a minute ago," Jonny reassured her, "and, I will worry about who I please" he continued, crossing the office and standing beside her chair. "And right now," he said, turning her chair slightly and gently lifting her chin so she was looking at him, "I'm worried about you."

"Well there's no need – I'm fine."

"Jac."

"Really, I'm OK."

"How did I know you'd say that?" Jonny asked, exasperatedly, before bending down and gently kissing her forehead. "You're like a stuck record sometimes," he continued, moving behind her chair and putting his arms round her.

And Jac sat back, closed her eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying the feeling of safety him holding her always caused. She opened her eyes after a few moments and turned her head slightly to look at him, then said, to his surprise. "You're not changed yet?"

"Erm no," he said uncertainly, "not yet."

"I like you in that top – it suits you."

Oh right" Jonny said, looking down at the green long-sleeved top he was wearing, whilst wondering what the hell was going on, "erm thanks."

"Not that I don't like the other things you normally wear, well most of them anyway" she continued, "it's just that really suits you. Brings out your eyes," she concluded, flashing him a small smile.

"Hark at you Gok Wan," Jonny joked, still unsure how this topic of conversation had come up, but prepared to run with it, if it stopped Jac thinking about other, more upsetting, things for a while. "You'll be telling me I don't need to be buff to be beautiful next."

"Oh no," Jac said, "I'd never say that. Buff is always best as far as I'm concerned."

"Is that right?"

"Mmm hmm, definitely – so sorry, you can't give up those gym sessions yet."

"Who says I go to the gym?" Jonny asked. "I could just be naturally toned, fit and fabulous."

"Yes, and Vanya might be a natural blonde," Jac replied, "but it's not very likely, is it?"

"What? You mean Vanya dyes her hair?" he asked in mock amazement. "You'll be telling me next that it's Elliott who eats all the doughnuts."

Jac grinned at this comment, before saying. "Speaking of Elliott, do you think it's too early to phone and let him know what's been going on with Jil."

"I'd say so," Jonny answered, looking at his watch "it's only quarter to seven. I mean, I'm sure he'll be up but he might not really be with it yet."

"Oh, is that all – I thought it was later than that."

"That's because you've been up for two hours already. Which reminds me – have you had breakfast?"

"What?"

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Erm, no – there wasn't time when I got up and since I got in well…. But it's OK, I'm not hungry anyway."

"Jac, you have to eat. I'll make you some toast before I get changed," he continued, standing up and walking out from behind her, "I should have just enough time."

"But Jonny, really there's no need, I'm…"

"There's every need." Jonny insisted, looking back at her over his shoulder from the doorway, before heading off towards the staff room.

"not hungry." Jac said, to his retreating back. Before she sat back in her chair again and wondered how it was that some people, like Daniel and Tony – who had gone to get breakfast as soon as the canteen had opened at 6.15, retained their appetite whatever was happening, whereas others like her just didn't seem to get hungry in times of stress. She remembered that even Rosa, who had managed to sweet talk Gwen into letting her sit in Jil's room whilst she slept, had asked Tony to bring her something back – 'a box of cereal, or a croissant. Nothing noisy though, or smelly' she'd instructed. 'Maybe Jonny's right,' she thought, 'even if I'm not hungry I suppose I still need to eat.'

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So what did Elliott say?" Jonny asked Jac, knowing that she had just finished speaking to him in their office, as she waited for the kettle to boil in the kitchen area.

"What?" Jac asked, disturbed from a reverie, before as if his words had just reached her, continuing, "Oh, he doesn't know – he needs to get all the results in before he makes a final decision, but," she hesitated, "but he thinks sooner rather than later," she concluded, running her fingers through her hair, before smiling a small, tight smile over at him.

"Oh" Jonny said, knowing that this was the news she had rationally expected to hear, but also had desperately hoped she wouldn't. "Oh Jac, I'm so sorry."

"It can't be helped" she replied, accompanying her words with a slight shrug of her shoulders, "and he's right. I know he is – we really don't want this to turn into an emergency procedure. It's just – oh I don't know….suppose I was hoping for some kind of miracle – that he'd tell me I was wrong and that we could afford to wait for a couple of weeks."

"You wanting to be proved wrong by Elliott, now that is a first" Jonny said, attempting to lighten the mood.

He was rewarded for his efforts by a small but real smile from Jac before she said, "I know, how twilight zone is that?" But then her smile faded and Jonny knew that she was close to tears, and not wanting to make her feel worse (as he knew him seeing her cry would) he busied himself preparing everything to make their hot drinks, which meant that he was no longer looking at her.

"Tea?" he asked, briefly turning round to look at her, holding a tea bag for her to see and gratefully noticing that she seemed to have managed to collect herself.

"Please," she said, before continuing, more to herself than to him, and smiling sadly over at him as she said it "there's nothing a cup of tea can't make a little bit better."


End file.
